15 Idiots Plaguing Facebook With Alarming Levels Of Stupidity

15 Idiots Plaguing Facebook With Alarming Levels Of Stupidity

These people would be best served steering as far clear as possible from any social media usage.


Chicago Woman Busted After Robbing Bank She Used To Work At In Pink Nightgown

Chicago Woman Busted After Robbing Bank She Used To Work At In Pink Nightgown

 

Sometimes knowing too much about “dual access codes” can be your downfall.

A 24-year-old Chicago woman is totally fucked after getting pinched for trying to rob the bank she used to work at.

Just how did authorities know it was Latasha Gamble who robbed the Chase Bank off N. Sheridan Road at gunpoint before 10 a.m. on November 9? You guessed it – the bank tellers working that day said they were “fairly certain” it was her despite her disguise of a “dark curly wig, black lipstick, black winter gloves, a tan winter coat and a patterned pink nightgown.”

 

Photo: FBI

Sadly, Gamble still worked for Chase bank albeit at another branch, and police arrested her later in the week when she showed up to work at that location.We’ll go out on a limb and they that that working relationship has come to an end.

Police said Gamble initially denied having anything to with robbing the bank of nearly $126,000, saying that she was instead with a relative and then later at the dentist. But it appears as though the Chicago Police Department can really apply pressure to the taint, as Gamble quickly changed her tune and admitted it was her.

 


Top 10 Most Dangerous Internet Challenges

Top 10 Most Dangerous Internet Challenges

Unfortunately, there are too many examples of social media challenges gone wrong. Whether it’s swollen lips because of the Kylie Jenner Lip Challenge, death from Planking or the booze chugging challenge known as Neknominate, these are some of the most deadly online challenges ever. WatchMojo counts down ten dangerous viral challenges that became popular.

 


'Crotch Charms' Are The Latest Fashion Statement And Cry For Help

'Crotch Charms' Are The Latest Fashion Statement And Cry For Help

 

While some self-loving people have grown a fondness for bathing suit shopping, many others will never stop thinking it's the worst. And if you've been wearing the same suit for the past three summers, perhaps you've spent most of this summer putting off a beach trip because trying on bikinis sounds worse than getting a root canal. But there's good news–a product that will allow you to continue wearing your faded old bikini while still looking fly as hell finally exists.

Say heyyy to the Bikini Crotch Charm, also known as the BeachTail. As pointed out by the Daily Mail, Japanese retailer BoDivas is selling the item online for $19.50. And it's quite literally a chain with varying charms that you affix to the crotch of your bathing suit bottoms.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BXvffVfD5O9/

The item's description on Etsy and Amazon asks the consumer, "Have you ever seen this style before???" Um, no, no I have not.

The BeachTail features a 2.75-inch long chain, not unlike one you might find on a punk teen's jeans, that goes around the crotch of your swimsuit. That means that yes, it will rub right up on your hooha. The more delicate dangling chains are 1.5 inches long and finished with two charms. The crotch charms, which are made of Swarovski crystal, come in a variety of colors, including clear, blue, purple, pink, red, black, and more. There's also a charm-free version that features 3-inch dangling chains—for the classy consumer.

If you're considering ordering this (some people actually have), don't worry about all your neighbors sneaking a peak at your packages and thinking to themselves, "What the heck is a Bikini Crotch Charm? My neighbor is weird. I'm going to steal her Marie Claire again." The item's description adds that the customs declaration label categorizes the item as a "Fashion Strap." Phew?

The item's page also adds that the user is responsible for determining if they have a metal allergy (the item is made of rhodium silver plated brass), so if you're unsure, you probably shouldn't stick this anywhere near your coochie. Luckily, BoDivas makes several other ~sexy~ items you can experiment with, including Nipple NoosesClit Clips, and Nipple Ring Chains.

BoDivas did not immediately respond to Someecards' request for comment–nor our request for BeachTails for the whole office.


Top 10 Celebrities Dropped By A Sponsor After A Controversy

Top 10 Celebrities Dropped By A Sponsor After A Controversy

Woops! You celebrities should have known better than to pull off that stunt! When celebrities do something silly, they don’t just hurt their reputations, but they also face the reality of getting dropped by certain sponsors. In this list, we’ll be looking at the celebrities who had exactly that happen after a racist tirade, a over-sexualized music video, or even accusations of owning child pornography.

 


15 DC Superheroes With Insanely Stupid Weaknesses

15 DC Superheroes With Insanely Stupid Weaknesses

An important part of balancing out most superheroes – of humanizing them and making them relatable – is for them to have a weakness. It’s no fun if the heroes can win without a struggle, so they need to have an equalizer that can be used against them by their rivals. And some heroes have really logical vulnerabilities, like Superman being susceptible to magic— with everything else he’s impervious to, Superman needs something like the supernatural to actually give him a challenge.

Other heroes have vulnerabilities that are a bit less respectable, though, to say the least. Not being invincible is great for keeping a character balanced, but sometimes the weaknesses can cause a double take. When a character is getting defeated by things like sticks, water, or junk in your pockets, it certainly makes them less intimidating.

Whether the hero’s vulnerability is just really mundane, or if it is just plain bizarre, these are 15 DC Superheroes With Insanely Stupid Weaknesses.

15. CAPTAIN MARVEL JR.—HIS NAME

Everyone knows that when it comes to Shazam he says his own name to transform into his super-powered persona. But in recent years it’s been clarified that Shazam will only transform if he actually intends to do so while saying his name, so there are no accidental transformations for him. That’s definitely reassuring; he won’t lose power mid-fight through a silly mistake like introducing himself. Unfortunately Captain Marvel Jr. did not get off as lucky in that regard.

Captain Marvel Jr. has to rely on some strategic nicknames when introducing himself, otherwise he could accidentally transform into the wrong form at the wrong time. Not only would it be disastrous to lose his superpowers in the middle of a battle, but it would likewise be really bad if he blew his cover when he was walking around as a normal person. Avoiding your own name really can’t be easy to remember to do.

14. FLASH—SKIPPING LUNCH

We all know the Flash is a fast runner, and this can enable him to do incredible things, like power up an incredibly strong punch, or even go back in time. But depending on the story, the Flash can be fast in other ways that he might not like as much. In his everyday life, he moves externally at a normal pace if he wants to, but internally he can still be hyper-accelerated. This can even pertain to his metabolism.

Not having to worry about getting fat sounds cool at first, but not when it gets to the point that it could actually result in him starving to death.

With a hyper fast metabolism the body is going to be burning through fuel a lot quicker than normal. That means speedsters also need to eat more often to keep up their energy. Beyond just jacking up their grocery bills, this problem also means they probably don’t want to wander too far from the fridge unless they’ve eaten a big meal beforehand. We all skip breakfast now and then, but for someone like the Flash, skipping a meal could literally leave him starving.

13. COLOR KID—DARKNESS

Not every hero we’re talking about is some world changing powerhouse. For some heroes, even without being exposed to their vulnerability, they’re still not that special. Color Kid is a good example of this kind of hero since, as his name suggests, his ability is manipulating colors. This allows him to do things as unimpressive as changing an object’s color, to things that are a bit more useful, such as changing his own colors to camouflage himself.

The problem comes in with the fact that you can’t see colors in the dark, so that makes Color Kid a lot less useful if you just turn out the lights on him. Color Kid’s rather limited abilities actually have made even his fellow superheroes regard him as being not that useful for joining up with them. So with or without this flaw in his powers, he is not impressing a lot of people.

12. BLACK CANARY—A SORE THROAT

Though Black Canary can handle herself in hand-to-hand combat, it is her Canary Cry that she is most well-known for. When she screams, the sound of it can be so loud and piercing that it has even proven capable of making people’s ears bleed. Even the mightiest supervillains probably don’t enjoy having their brains drip out of their ears, so it’s a great move for debilitating enemies from afar. It’s also something very simple to counter.

With Black Canary, her opponents might not even have to do anything to impede her Canary Cry. If you do a lot of screaming it’s going to wear out your voice eventually, and pretty soon your default voice will sound like you’re trying not to disturb anyone at the library. Yeah, a sore throat is temporary, but that’s still long enough to take one of Black Canary’s most useful moves out of her arsenal.

11. RAINBOW GIRL—NOT BEING EMOTIONAL

Being an emotional hero is usually not seen as a good thing, but for Rainbow Girl, it’s a great thing. She is the human equivalent of a mood ring; her emotions produce different effects. This obviously isn’t very reliable since it’s difficult to make yourself feel sad or angry on cue, so tapping into the emotional powers she needs could already be tough for Rainbow Girl. But it’s especially tough if she matures into someone who isn’t very emotional.

During the early days of being a hero, emotions will naturally be running high. The first victory is a joy, the first defeat is crushing, the first betrayal is infuriating. But by the time you become as seasoned as people like Batman, that’s all old news. And for Rainbow Girl, less emotions means less power. She’d better not grow stoic as she becomes more experienced, otherwise she might have a short career.

10. AQUAMAN—GETTING THIRSTY

Though modern iterations of Aquaman have understandably downplayed this weakness a lot, in the old days Arthur was a bit too much like a fish when it came to leaving the water. It used to be that Aquaman could only stay out of the water for an hour before he would start to suffocate. That’s a pretty strict time limit for saving the world, and really hampered Aquaman’s adventures outside of the ocean.

Today, Aquaman is not at all an uncommon sight on land. As Arthur’s importance to DC has increased, having him be confined by such a limiting vulnerability became a nuisance. Nowadays he does still need to head down underwater to rule his kingdom and protect the oceans, but he’s not racing anywhere near as tight of a clock against suffocating. You know it’s bad when even the character’s writers know a weakness it too severe.

9. POWER GIRL—ANYTHING NATURAL

Some people are big on living organic, but it looks doubtful that Power Girl is one of them. With her connection to Superman, you might figure it would be Kryptonite leaves her vulnerable, but Power Girl is actually in the clear in that regard. Unfortunately her actual weakness is far more common— any kind of natural material. And in case you haven’t been outside lately, there’s a lot of natural stuff out there.

Power Girl is all good when it comes to dealing with bullets or anything made by people, but when out in mother nature, she needs to watch out for those trees. In addition to wood, Power Girl is also vulnerable to pretty much anything else in nature.

In that regard, she’s not too different from a normal human, since throwing a rock at a person would definitely hurt them. It’s just a surprising weakness to see in someone as supernaturally strong as Power Girl.

8. WONDER WOMAN—HAVING HER HANDS BOUND BY A MAN

One of the more notable and bizarre superhero weaknesses has long belonged to Wonder Woman. She’s incredibly strong, fast, can fly, can deflect bullet with her bracelets, and has a lasso that can force the truth out of people, but just getting tied up by whatever guy happens to be around is enough to leave her in jeopardy. Even totally normal men are capable of doing this, strangely enough; meaning Diana has reason to be leery when she’s around any man.

Honestly it is a pretty anti-climactic way for Wonder Woman to be defeated, though. We certainly can’t say we’re surprised this vulnerability hasn’t been featured very prominently in modern Wonder Woman comics, or in the movie. This ranks up there with Diana’s invisible jet as one of her hokier story elements. Fortunately for her, she’s so athletically gifted that men would have a tough time restraining her long enough to bind her hands.

7. GREEN LANTERN—THE COLOR YELLOW

One of the most well-known and embarrassing weaknesses out there for a hero is Green Lantern’s debilitation thanks to the color yellow. To be fair, this isn’t a weakness that’s limited to just Hal Jordan or Kyle Rayner. All members of the Green Lanterns Corps are weakened by the color yellow. It makes sense, what with the Yellow Lanterns being the home of the antagonistic Sinestro, but it’s still funny to see such powerful people getting left vulnerable by something as simple as a banana.

Probably the most famous and amusing examples of this is when the Green Lantern goes to confront Batman, but the Dark Knight has prepared for the occasion. Batman had painted the entire room, as well as himself, all yellow. To top it off, he even sits drinking a glass of lemonade, just to rub it in that he’s in total control, despite not having any powers.

6. NIGHT GIRL—DAYLIGHT

As Night Girl’s name suggests, her powers revolve around night time. Whether it’s actually night out, or even if she’s just in a place that is very dark, Night Girl gains incredible powers. She gains strength that puts her on par with members of Superman’s family, and also becomes far more resilient. If you catch Night Girl in the dark, she really is a dangerous opponent. The problem is, all that goes away come daylight.

To be fair, vampires have a long history of being scary nocturnal monsters that will die just from a little sunlight, so Night Girl isn’t the first to deal with this. That doesn’t make it any less steep of a downside, though.

With Night Girl it’s especially prominent since in the dark her power is so incredible that the drop off during the day is just staggering. It’s just pretty limiting for a hero to only be effective once the sun goes down.

5. SUPERMAN—STAYING INSIDE

While Superman does have some level of power, regardless of whether or not he is exposed to a yellow sun, to access his abilities that put him among DC’s elite heroes, he needs to be under the rays of a sun like the Earth’s.

This is true of other Kryptonians like Supergirl too, so you could count all of Superman’s family and several of his enemies as having this same dependency. The obvious flaw in this source of strength is, they need to be outside under the sun’s glow to function to their fullest.

Now while it’s true Superman is not likely to ever be foolish enough to just stop going outside of his volition, it is an exploitable weakness to keep him out of the sun. There have actually been numerous times when Superman’s opponents have either kept him underground, or placed a dome over a city to de-power Clark.

4. MARTIAN MANHUNTER—A MATCH

Martian Manhunter is one of the most powerful heroes in the DC universe. In some ways he parallels Superman, with them both initially being lone aliens coming to Earth. Whereas Clark was able to pass well enough for a human to blend in, J’onn was inescapably reminded of how much of an other he is to Earth.

Anyone who’s seen a monster movie knows what humans will do to people they view as monsters— out come the pitchforks and torches. In J’onn’s case, those torches would be deadly.

J’onn’s race is horribly vulnerable to fire as much as a human would be to acid. While it’s no laughing matter to picture Martian Manhunter being burned alive, it gets a bit surprising when you realize even the flame from a match is terrifying to them.

So no gas stoves for J’onn, and he definitely wouldn’t be a smoker. Maybe, just to be safe, he should go live with Aquaman in Atlantis.

3. ZATANNA—BEING GAGGED

Honestly Zatanna has the exact same problem as Black Canary— her voice is her power. So really, getting any throat related health problems would be just as efficient for making Zatanna vulnerable, but we also can’t help but point out that simply getting gagged could (and has, on multiple occasions) undermine someone like Zatanna too. Someone sneaks up on her and clamps a hand down over her mouth? Say goodbye to the majority of her magic.

Zatanna is a great example of someone with immense power who has a stunningly exploitable weakness. She is one of DC’s most powerful heroes, someone who would even overpower Superman thanks to his vulnerability to magic. To be fair, she can still use some spells even without her words, but she’s obviously far more limited this way. All it takes is stopping her from saying her magic incantations, and Zatanna becomes nearly helpless.

2. KRYPTO—FOOD

Krypto is obviously quite far from just an ordinary dog. As a Kryptonian, he has super strength and speed, he can fly, and has a variety of other powers as well. While Krypto can’t exactly talk to humans, he can still understand them, and formulate intelligent and complex thoughts via thought balloons in the comics. You might laugh at the notion of a dog superhero at first, but given everything he can do, there is no denying he’s pretty capable. Unless there is food around, that is.

Despite everything, Krypto is still a dog and has a lot of the same instincts as an animal. He’s smart enough to plan things out, articulate himself to other animals, and save the world, but he still enjoys the same things as all dogs. He can get caught up in games of fetch, and isn’t immune to the temptation of tasty treats.  Krypto has even gotten distracted from catching criminals before by a free hotdog.

1. ALAN SCOTT—WOOD

Though we have already talked about the Green Lantern Corps and their weakness to the color yellow, one of them in particular had an extra vulnerability that might actually be more pathetic and embarrassing than having to be scared of bananas and lemons. When it came to Alan Scott, his weakness was seriously wood, of all things.

While today’s Green Lanterns can shield themselves from pretty much anything, all wooden objects were impossible for Alan to use his ring on. Since a Green Lantern is pretty much completely dependent on their ring for defense, this made him vulnerable to things as trivial as a baseball bat.

Alan was the very first Green Lantern, so he deserves major props for introducing so much of the mythos and powers that would become attached to the identity for years to come. But it’s also understandable why he hasn’t been one of the more enduring characters to wear the power ring when his legacy also contains such a silly weakness.

 

 


Tuckered Out By Hike, Couple Calls For Rescue Helicopter

Tuckered Out By Hike, Couple Calls For Rescue Helicopter

Broke a leg while hiking? That's a good reason to call an air ambulance. Attacked by a yeti? An even better reason. Being all tuckered out? Not so much. The International Business Times reports a woman and her husband from the Swedish village of Jokkmokk were hiking in the mountains recently when they called police to tell them she was having trouble walking. Police dispatched an air ambulance and mountain rescue team only to discover the woman was having trouble walking because she was tired from all the hiking.

That wasn't considered an emergency—especially because there was a cottage nearby—and the couple was given the option of either walking down the mountain on their own or paying for the helicopter ride, according to the Local. They ended up paying the equivalent of more than $3,600 for the helicopter ride. “Mountain rescue should be for when there is a danger to life or health," a police spokesperson says. "If you have food and a roof over your head maybe it’s better to wait a bit until you’re feeling a bit stronger."

 

 


25 TERRIBLE INVENTIONS THAT EVERYONE HATED

25 TERRIBLE INVENTIONS THAT EVERYONE HATED

 

 

Microsoft Clippy

If you lived during the 90’s, you might remember Microsoft Clippy. Acting as a personal assistant to Microsoft Word, Clippy tried to help the user with tasks. The only problem was most of the tasks were very basic, like writing a letter or creating a spreadsheet. While the original creators thought it would be great, most everyone thought Clippy was extremely annoying.

1

Toilet Golf

Toilet Golf is pretty straight forward. With this useless device, you get to mix business with pleasure by practicing your golf game. Just make sure to wash the golf club, like, all the time.

2

Hair in a Can

Men have always gone to great lengths to hide and cover up their bald spots, which leads to all kinds of embarrassing and useless inventions. The Hair in a Can isn’t going to fool anyone. It’s essentially black spray paint.

3

Giant Wine Glass that Holds an Entire Bottle

If there was ever a product more prone to promote alcoholism, this giant wine glass would be it. It claims to be able to hold an entire bottle of wine for all you winos out there desperate to get cirrhosis and visit the dialysis lab twice a week.

4

Hair Hat

We’ve all heard of hat hair. Now, there’s the hair hat, another attempt to cover up baldness with a cap that makes it look like you have hair. Your chances of getting laughed at are much greater wearing the Hair Hat than being bald.

5

iPotty

All parents know the struggle of potty training their kids. With the iPotty, you can now experience those trials – this time with an expensive computer. Because what better way to utilize your iPad than to put it as close to your child’s feces as possible? Just put the iPad in the holder, and your toddler will have an infinite amount of fun putting its filthy hands all over the screen while probably not doing what you originally wanted. You know, going potty.

6

Wine Glass Holder Necklace

This is perfect for when you’re planning to go to a wine party and loathe the idea of using your arm muscles to hold a glass of wine for a long period of time. Obviously, get the Wine Glass Holder Necklace.

7

Female Lap Pillow

The Female Lap Pillow has to be one of the most useless, creepy, and sad inventions of all time. Designed to look like a female lap, the pillow will make you feel even more lonely and depressed. Even practically, it doesn’t even look that comfortable.

8

Avocado Saver

The avocado saver is a big waste of time, money, and brainpower. If you only use one-half of an avocado and want to save the other, just wrap it up in plastic wrap and put it in the fridge. Problem solved.

9

Face Slimmer

The Face Slimmer is clearly a useless piece of silicone with the silly intention of keeping a female’s face slimmer and without wrinkles. It’s not going to work, and you’ll look ridiculous using it. Just say no.

10

The Napkin Clip

The Napkin Clip’s useless purpose is all in its name. Bring it to any dining event, place it around your neck, find your napkin of choice, and clip it in front of you. Congratulations, now you’re the talk of the town, but not in a good way.

11

Steering Wheel Laptop Desk

Most inventions come from necessity or out of a desire to solve a problem. The Steering Wheel Laptop Desk only creates more problems. If you drive with it on, you’re likely to get into a fatal car crash. If you use it while in a parking lot, you’re going look really silly. It’s a no-win situation.

12

Walking Sleeping Bag

More like a sleeping suit, the Walking Sleeping Bag is designed with arms and legs in mind, allowing any happy camper the luxury of mobility while staying comfortable. Those without pride or dignity will be sure to love this thing.

13

USB Pet Rock

The Pet Rock of the 70’s was pretty useless. Now a company has done them one better, creating a useless pet rock with a useless USB cable.

14

Handerpants

If you’re in the market for some underwear for your hands, then look no further than the Handerpants. Designed for no apparent purpose other than to look like a weirdo, these tighty-whities really redefine what useless truly means.

15

Helicopter Ejection Seat

We’re not sure if this is useless or just stupid. It’s probably both. Rotor Floater designed the HES (Helicopter Ejection Seat) and, of course, they struggled to find the right timing so the pilot doesn’t get cut in half by the propellers. Even after slowing down the propellers and making the seat eject at Mach 19 (Something likely to give pilots lifelong back problems), they still only had a 72% success rate with test dummies. Those odds are like playing Russian Roulet with your helicopter.

16

Wig for Cats

Much like putting clothes on a dog, a Wig for Cats is likely more embarrassing for the cat than for its owner…because even it can see how pathetic and useless it is.

17

Electric Facial Mask

Other than finding a unique way to terrify your friends at a dinner party, the Electric Facial Mask serves no other purpose. Sure, it claims to rejuvenate and tone your skin, but we all know that’s unlikely.

18

Snuggie for Dogs

Maybe the inventors of Snuggie for Dogs didn’t quite get the memo in kindergarten, but dogs already have a built in Snuggie. It’s called fur. They don’t really need a second one.

19

Comfort Wipe

The Comfort Wipe is intended for those with a limited range of motion. It sounds like it might help. Except, read a few of the reviews, and it’s clear it creates way more problems with the wet toilet paper clinging to the handle, forcing you to remove it manually.

20

HeadOn Migraine

HeadOn is supposed to help relieve people of migraines by applying the large stick of glue to your forehead. Except, it doesn’t have any real active ingredients in the formula and is essentially just wax. All it might do is provide a placebo effect.

21

Vibrating Ab-Belt

Since the 1950’s, many inventors have claimed a vibrating belt can tone your muscles and help you lose weight. Unfortunately, it’s a total misunderstanding of how weight-loss works. Vibrating Ab-Belts don’t do anything except waste your time.

22

Smell-O-Vision

While watching a movie, most people don’t want to be rudely interrupted by pungent smells. It doesn’t add anything to the story and might force viewers to make a quick trip to the bathroom. Some things are just better not knowing and the Smell-o-Vision proves it.

23

Bacon Floss

While everyone loves bacon, it can’t be said that everyone loves bacon breath. No one especially wants a whiff of your newly flossed bacon teeth. What good is it to have your mouth smell like bacon when you never ate bacon in the first place? It’s a cruel joke.

24

Face/Butt Towel

The Face/Butt towel helps you remember the importance of hygienic organization. But honestly, the only good real use for this towel is a gift at a white elephant party or a practical joke on a family member.

#25


Vagina Glitter Capsules Are A Bad Idea - Who Would Have Guessed It?

Vagina Glitter Capsules Are A Bad Idea - Who Would Have Guessed It?

In the history of the world, not one person has ever started to have sex with someone and thought or said "Hm. This vagina is ok, I guess. But what if there were more GLITTER on it?" While I don't know this for certain, I feel reasonably confident in saying so.

And yet, since at least 2010 when the "vajazzling" trend first emerged as a thing, people have been looking to make bank on what they seem to think is an overwhelming demand for sparklier vaginas across the globe. Despite the fact that, you know, that trend landed more than a few people in the ER.

Enter Passion Dust: "intimacy capsules" filled with some kind of glitter that you stick inside your vagina in order to make your sex-having time more, uh, glitter...ier. And also more "magically delicious," which I assume means that the glitter itself tastes like dehydrated marshmallows. The capsules are sold and marketed by someone calling herself madam.butterflie on Instagram, and sold by her company "Pretty Woman Inc."

The site explains their purpose... sort of:

Passion Dust Intimacy Capsules are an adult novelty item. Something you would expect to find in your local adult boutique along with the edible or flavored oils, creams, body butters, lubricants, body dusts and whatever other tasty body treats are out there. But Passion Dust is different from all of them. It is a small capsule that you insert into your vagina and allow it to naturally dissolve and release it's contents.

PASSION DUST is not a liquid, lubricant or gel of any kind, It does not induce or create any physical sensations or physically alter your sexual performance. It's only purpose is to add a sparkle and flavor to your natural vaginal fluids to make the experience of lovemaking that much more fun and enjoyable for you and your partner. Your body's physical responses help to release the Passion Dust. Basically, the more excited you get physically the faster the capsule dissolves creating a sparkly, flavored orgasm. Your passion makes it happen!

Passion Dust capsules do not come in different flavors or scents. The flavor is sweet like candy but not overly sweet, just enough to make your lover feel that your Yara (water-lady or little butterfly) is what all vaginas are supposed to look, feel and taste like; soft, sweet and magical!

I feel reasonably sure that vaginas —or any other body part, other than one's eyes —are not actually supposed to look like they are sparkling. If you find that your vagina is sparkling on its own, you should probably go to the ER and then also contact Mulder and Scully as soon as possible.

The site also says that you can use Passion Dust even when you are not having sex:

NOTE: You can insert a capsule any time you want to sparkle down-there and you can use them as often as you would like. It does not have to be just when you are having sex. Sometimes it is just fun to look at!. We recommend inserting right before you shower. The heat from the shower will assist in dissolving the capsule.

OK, but why? I mean, I totally get buying some glittery-ish shower gel from Lush, but what is the appeal of standing in the shower with glitter pouring down between your legs? Who wants this?

According to the site, if your lover isn't into it, he isn't a real man, and you should totally question your relationship with him:

We know how boys feel about glitter and glosses, etc...we say boys because no man has yet to complain, they don't like it (under normal circumstances) but seriously, what is there for him to complain about?..What is he going to say?...
- WTF--Why is it so...pretty!?
- Why does it smell good and taste sweet like that!?
- I just don't like it, it feels all...good and stuff!
- If these things are a problem for your lover , your first question should be 'why?'..What's wrong with it being prettier, tastier?...

Passion Dust also apparently serves as a way to keep men from cheating on you, by giving them a glitterdick they may not want to take to their side-piece:

On the flip-side, If you trust your mate (or not), if you're sure that you are the #1 person in your lover's life then what difference will it make if they have a little glitter in their shorts when they leave the house?...whose gonna see?..no one other than you should need an explanation anyway, right?.. And it does work both ways GUYS; If your lady leaves the house or comes home sparkling and she hasn't been with you, you may have a few questions of your own.

​Of course, now that you are very certain that you want a glittersplosion in your vagina, you are probably wondering if it is safe! The site says yes, sort of!

However -- actual gynecologist Jen Gunter, however, is not so sure. She firmly recommends not sticking weird glitter pills into your vagina, and says that doing so could cause some really unpleasant side-effects. As she wrote on her blog:

Could the plastic be a nidus for bacteria? Sure. I’ve seen a nasty inflammatory vaginal discharge from sand so this could be a similar set up.

Might the little flakes of plastic produce vaginal wall granulomas? (A granuloma is walled off inflammatory mass produced by tissue in response to a foreign body). They could.

If it isn’t plastic and it’s sugar, well, depositing sugar in the vagina lets the bad bacteria go wild. Studies looking at treating bacterial vaginosis with vaginally administered probiotics were halted because the glucose keeping the probiotics alive made the bad bacteria go wild.

Could the vehicle be an irritant and cause a vaginal contact dermatitis? Yes and ouch. Think vaginal sunburn!

Is it possible the goo might damage the good vaginal bacteria leading to infections as well as in increased risk of STIs? You bet. Given how tacky it looks it is unlikely an intimate lubricant (or a safe one anyway).

What impact will this have on vaginal pH? Unknown.

So yeah, sorry we have to break this to you, but in no way is putting glitter pills in your vadge a good idea. Luckily, you can't buy them anyway, because the site says they are sold out—o if really you want your ladyparts to look extra crafty, you're gonna have to just make a tiny papier-mâché hat and stick on some googly eyes or pom-poms or something until they stock back up.

 


6 Pieces Of "Smart" Technology That Failed

6 Pieces Of "Smart" Technology That Failed

 

In a world of iThis and iThat, SmartWatches and SmartBlotches, it’s easy to forget all the tech failures along the way. Here are some of the best smart tech flops that’ll make you rethink your Bluetooth/ wireless/ wifi headphones that double as a robot companion.

 

1. iSmell (2000)

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This was a device you could attach to your computer through USB that would emit certain smells when you went to a particular website or opened an email.

 

2. Xybernaut Poma Wearable PC (2002)

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To look like this, you only had to pay $1500!

 

3. Motorized Ice Cream Cone (1998)

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Aren’t we all sick and tired of MANUALLY turning our ice cream cones to lick all the sides?! YES WE ARE!

 

4. Virtual Boy (1995)

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While virtual reality seems to finally be upon us, Nintendo failed to get their '90s VR contraption off the ground thanks to customers' complaints of headache and nausea.

 

5. Microsoft SPOT (2004)

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Just like Marissa Cooper on The O.C., the Smart Personal Object Technology was doomed. Despite cool features like email notifications and FM radio, SPOT never caught on.

 

6. Apple Newton

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Remember when you thought, "How did people survive in the '90s without iPhones?" Well the ones who could shell out upwards of $1K on a nifty (not so) little MessagePad, could kind of do stuff with their personal assistant device. Handwriting recognition was notoriously awful, and the Newton failed to catch on.


14 People Share The Dumbest Reasons The Cops Were Called for "Paranormal" Reasons

14 People Share The Dumbest Reasons The Cops Were Called fo "Paranormal" Reasons


10 People Share The Stupidest Reasons They Broke Up With Someone

10 People Share The Stupidest Reasons They Broke Up With Someone

 


Dude Showing Off His Brand New BMW Probably Regrets Taking This Turn And Totaling The F*ck Out Of It

Dude Showing Off His Brand New BMW Probably Regrets Taking This Turn And Totaling The F*ck Out Of It

Nothing chaps my ass like reckless drivers. Seeing someone weave through traffic in their tricked out Honda Civic with a spoiler on the back makes me wish the worst on him and his family. A complete negligence for my ‘Baby On Board’ bumper sticker. Fucked up. So a part of me rejoiced watching this dude learn a hard lesson in abiding the rules of the road. I obviously don’t want to see anyone get hurt, but maybe shitting $70,000 away is the wake up call this dude needs to chill the fuck out with the Fast and Furious shit.


Kidnapped Uber Driver Streams His Drive with Bank Robber ‘Toting Bomb’ on Facebook Live

Kidnapped Uber Driver Streams His Drive with Bank Robber ‘Toting Bomb’ on Facebook Live

 

IF YOU CANT FAKE HAVING A BOMB THEN DON'T EVEN TRY.


15 Dumbest Movie Controversies Of All Time

15 Dumbest Movie Controversies Of All Time

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There’s no escaping film controversy. No matter how enlightened society may get or how much their tolerance grows from years of viewing on-screen atrocities, it seems as if we are destined to endure some new wave of outrage created in response to a film that irked the sensitivities of viewers. There are many times when these controversies are understandable. You might not personally agree with them, but you can understand why certain films featuring outrageous scenes of violence or cultural insensitivity might bother some people.

Then you have the dumb controversies. With respect to the individual sensibilities of moviegoers, there are some headline-makers that just leave you scratching your head when you first hear about them. They’re sparked by all sorts of different things, of course. Some are the results of cultural differences, while others are products of a different era when the general world took a different view on certain matters. There’s always an explanation behind even the most bizarre of film controversies. It’s a testament to the dumbest of movie controversies, however, that knowing the explanation behind them still prompts a hearty “huh?” in reaction to them.

Here’s our take on the 15 Dumbest Movie Controversies Of All Time.

15. IRAN FEARED ZOOLANDER MIGHT HAVE A HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA

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Zoolander was actually banned in three countries. In Malaysia, the government deemed Ben Stiller’s comedy to be “definitely unsuitable.” That’s really no surprise when you consider that it portrays Malaysia as the home of fashion industry sweat shops and uses the country for a few running jokes. There’s also that ending that involves the attempted assassination of the Malaysian Prime Minister. Singapore banned the movie for no official reason, but some believe it has to do with their close relationship with Malaysia. Finally, and most confusingly, Iran banned the film due to its homosexual content.

If you’re racking your brain right now trying to remember which scenes in Zoolander involved homosexuality, the closest you’ll come is the threesome scene between Derek, Hansel, and Matilda. According to reports, however, the film wasn’t necessarily banned due to a specific scene, but rather because the whole thing was just a little too weird and potentially driven by homosexuality. As the Iran government was cracking down on films that showcased homosexuality at all, they banned Zoolander just to be safe.

14. THE MOON IS BLUE USED FORBIDDEN WORDS LIKE “SEDUCTION”

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You’re going to quickly discover that sex tends to be the subject of many stupid film controversies. It was a particularly sore topic during the ‘20s and ‘30s, when audiences were just starting to get used to this whole “motion pictures” thing and certainly didn’t want to share a room with people who were all staring at something sexual happening on-screen. That’s just awkward. By the time that the ‘50s rolled around, however, you would think that people would have lightened up just enough to at least be comfortable with film characters talking about sex.

You would think that, but you would be wrong. Otto Preminger’s 1953 film The Moon is Blue had plenty of sexual overtones, but much of the film’s controversy can be attributed to what is said during the movie rather than what is shown. The film’s very casual attitude towards sex led to it casually dropping such words as “mistress”, “virgin”, and “seduction”. This kind of carefree approach to the subject of sex was more than some people could stand. The film was denounced by several groups, and often screened in front of men and women separately.

13. BURMA BANS THE SIMPSONS MOVIE BECAUSE OF TWO COLORS

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The gem-rich region of Myanmar (also known as Burma) has long held a reputation for being one of the most dangerous places in the world. Years of political discourse as well as a fair few military coups have transformed the region, at times, into a hostile war zone. Democratic reform is helping, but Burma can still be a rough place. It’s the kind of place that could certainly use the lighthearted entertainment offered by such films as The Simpsons Movie. A few blue jokes aside, certainly nobody could find anything truly controversial in that film, right?

While Burma didn’t object to any specific piece of content in the film, they did have a problem with the animation. Specifically, they weren’t too keen on Bart’s red-tinted shirt and yellow skin. Why? Well, it has something to do with the fact that the primary colors of the opposing political parties in Thailand are red and yellow. Rumor has it that officials were worried the sight of those two colors together would cause outrage so they banned the film. Of course, it’s possible they just stopped being fans after Season 12.

12. THE KISS DRAWS OUTRAGE FOR SHOWING A KISS

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It wasn’t long into the history of filmmaking before the movie industry started to realize that controversy retained its appeal even in this bold new medium. You probably know the stories of the peep shows that popped up almost the minute that filmmaking was invented, but even legitimate early studios capitalized on a little controversy from time to time. Now, you may be wondering what exactly was deemed controversial back in the late 1800s. While that’s a laundry list of topics, it turns out that early filmgoers could be upset with nothing more than a simple kiss.

Yes, a kiss. Specifically, the 1896 film from Edison Inc. called The Kiss. In this 18 second feature, May Irwin and John Rice share the first on-screen kiss in film history. Some people were not amused by this ludicrous display of lurid material. Critics, audiences, and the Roman Catholic Church denounced the movie for the way it cheaply exploited such an obviously sexual event. It was called disgusting. It also prompted a wave of films that imitated the moment in an effort to capitalize on its success.

11. CHILD’S PLAY 3 IS FOREVER LINKED TO BRITAIN’S MOST BRUTAL MURDER

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This is one of the most bizarre film controversies out there, and the devil is in the details. Mostly, though, it’s dumb because it involves a movie that should have been forgotten the moment it was released. The third film in the Childs’ Play series is about what you’d expect from such a flick. (That is to say, it’s pretty bad.) The movie has a lasting legacy in the United Kingdom, however, due to the tragic death of a boy named James Bulger. Bulger was a three-year-old boy who was horrifically murdered by two ten-year-old children. It was a true tragedy.

It was also bizarrely linked to Child’s Play 3. A small similarity between the murder and the film and the fact that one of the boy’s fathers had rented the movie months before meant that Child’s Play 3 was put in the media’s crosshairs. Even though it was proven the movie had nothing to do with the murder almost right away, the uproar surrounding the film raged on for years. It’s one of the most extreme cases of media sensationalism in the history of film controversies.

10. MIDNIGHT COWBOY GETS AN X-RATING FOR AN HONEST PORTRAYAL OF NEW YORK CITY

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You probably know that Midnight Cowboy is one of the most controversial movies in the history of American cinema. It was the first and only X-rated film to win the Academy Award for Best Picture. It caused viewers to walk out of theaters en masse or otherwise break down into tears right there in the theater. For a time, it seemed nobody but United Artists and director John Schlesinger wanted the movie to be made. But have you ever stopped and asked yourself just what makes the movie so controversial?

If you do, you’re going to find that it has a lot to do with its setting. To be sure, there are elements of the movie (homosexual relationships, male prostitution, etc.) that are easy to see as being a bit racy for the the movie’s 1969 release. However, the major controversy at the heart of the film was its portrayal of 42nd street in New York City as a seedy place filled with hustlers , pimps, and dealers. It was a shockingly accurate loot at a world that existed right under people’s noses, whether they wanted to admit it or not. In any case, it was a lot tamer than the average movie shown at 42nd street theaters during that time.

9. A SINGER GETS SHREK 2 BANNED IN ISRAEL BECAUSE IT MADE FUN OF HIM

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Shrek 2 wasn’t banned in Israel upon its release. Instead, it went through the same process that a lot of other movies imported from America go through. It was redubbed into another language and slightly recut in order to replace some America-specific jokes with ones that would apply to Israel’s audience. For instance, in the Israeli version of Shrek 2, there is a scene where one character threatens castration by saying “Let’s do a David D’or on him.” David D’or is the name of a high-pitched Israeli singer. Pretty funny, right?

David D’or didn’t think so. The singer remarked that the film attempted to portray him as a “man with no testicles” and turn him into a “laughing stock.” This he could not abide. He sued the distributers over the joke (in a movie full of jokes, mind you.) Shockingly, the Israeli court agreed with D’or, and actually ruled that the film was to be banned throughout the country until a new cut without the line was made. Not to be insensitive, but this sets a dangerous precedent for the power of pouting.

8. NOBODY COULD BELIEVE THE OUTLAW USED SEX TO SELL

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In 1943, it wasn’t exactly against the law to give an actress top billing, but audiences weren’t yet used to the idea that a film’s marketing would focus entirely on a woman. That mindset resulted in strike one against Howard Hughes’ 1943 western, The Outlaw. The promotional material of the film almost exclusively featured a relatively unknown actress named Jane Russell. In fact, later versions of the posters were edited to only show Russell. Of course, the real reason that so many people were upset was because Russell was showcased in a highly sexual manner that emphasized her cleavage.

Here’s the funny thing about that. Hughes knew that people would be upset at the idea of a woman’s sexuality being so clearly shown on film posters. He was quite literally banking on it. Hughes drummed up most of the controversy himself in order to get people talking about the movie so that he could be sure it would receive the proper funding. It was quite remarkable, really. Even though people turned out in droves to watch Jane Russell on screen, the morality of the time seemed to force most of them to be upset about the idea of such a thing.

7. A SONG IN BLACKBOARD JUNGLE CAUSES RIOTS

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Deprive a fire of oxygen, and it will no longer burn. That’s a scientific fact that does not apply to necessarily apply to humans. There’s a passionate fire within people that usually cannot be suffocated by simply smothering it, a fact that’s especially true of young people. It’s why sometimes the worst thing you can do when you’re trying to keep someone from behaving a certain way is to deny them entirely. Otherwise, the slightest chance to rebel might result in them doing so.

At least that’s the best explanation we have for the sensation that followed the release of Blackboard Jungle. It’s (unfortunately) easy to imagine that this 1955 movie about a teacher at an ethnically diverse high-school might be controversial due to racial tensions or something along those lines. Instead, much of the film’s controversy revolved around its use of the song “Rock Around the Clock.” This was one of the first times a movie used a rock and roll song so prominently, and audiences across the world used the song as their anthem for riots, vandalism and general acts of hooliganism. All of this because of a more upbeat song played in front of deprived youths in revolt.

6. PORTUGAL BANS CATCH 22 BECAUSE OF A MAN’S BUTT

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Depending on the source, a censor may or may not be under an obligation to say why they censored or banned a particular movie. Most, however, will freely divulge the reasoning behind such an action. If not out of a sense of professional obligation to do so, they will usually say why they chose to censor a movie simply to drive home a particular point they may want to make. That’s especially true in the case of government censorships. So what reason did the country of Portugal have for censoring Catch-22? It briefly shows a nude male butt.

The film Catch-22, much like the book it is passed on, is considered to be controversial by some for the way it cleverly takes on certain military conventions and parodies the notion of war itself. Never, however, had anyone drawn attention to this particular aspect of the story. Catch-22 is one of only two movies to be banned in Portugal (the other being Last Tango in Paris), leading some to believe there was an ulterior motive for this censoring. If there was, the censors aren’t telling.

5. THE NETHERLANDS IS SHOCKED SCRAM! SHOWS MEN AND WOMEN SITTING ON A BED

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As anyone who grew up watching I Love Lucy knows, couples sharing the same bed on-screen was a pretty big deal once upon a time. It’s a matter of some debate regarding why, exactly, censors of eras past felt that seeing a married couple lie in bed together was such a wild thing, but apparently, the mere implication of what they might be doing in that bed was too much for some to bear. It’s why wholesome, innocent entertainment such as the films of Laurel and Hardy were so prized by fans and censors alike.

Well, except for the 1932 Laurel and Hardy film Scram!, that is. This movie about two vagrants who stumble into a luxurious mansion where they frighten the female occupant clocks in at less than 30-minutes in length, but in that time, it managed to draw enough controversy to be worthy of a ban in the Netherlands. The offending moment in question involved a scene where Laurel and Hardy sat in the same bed as a woman that neither of them is married to. All they did was sit there, but that was enough to strike fear into the heart of censors.

4. CARNAL KNOWLEDGE SHOWS A CONDOM ON-SCREEN

carnal-knowledge

It makes a lot of sense that a movie like Carnal Knowledge might generate controversy. The movie follows two roommates that become embroiled in a complicated relationship involving several women. The whole movie is designed to explore nearly every aspect of sex as it pertains to society, humanity,and the nature of relationships. It was one of the first major releases to address more complicated issues pertaining to sex openly, but it’s hardly an exploitative film. Still, it dealt with some sensitive subject matter.

The weird thing about the movie’s controversy is how it was directed. There was no shortage of words used to describe the movie’s supposed indecencies,  but the one that kept coming up in most conversations involving the film was “condom.” Carnal Knowledge wasn’t the first movie to use the word condom, but it was the first major release to actually show one. Showing a condom wasn’t the sole source of the film’s controversy, yet it soon became one of the more talked about moments in the movie. You would think that people would be happy about the promotion of safe sex.

3. THE GREATEST HORROR IN PSYCHO TURNS OUT TO BE A FLUSHING TOILET

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This time, you can probably already form guesses on what the controversies in this film might be. After all, Psycho was a major release violent horror movie at a time when such violent horror movies were still almost exclusively relegated to small theaters. It was aiming to break the genre mold and help prove that such horror movies could be respected pieces of film. It’s understandable that elements such as the movie’s violence, it’s interpretation of the human psyche, and the controversial shower scene would stir up sensitive audiences.

While all of that did come to pass, the most bizarre controversy in the film is certainly the case of the flushing toilet. Director Alfred Hitchcock wanted to add a scene involving scraps of paper being flushed down a toilet, as he felt it added authenticity to the moment. In the process, he turned Psycho into the first American live-action film to show a toilet flushing on screen. Even though there was nothing particularly off-putting in the toilet itself, the simple uncut image of it flushing was interpreted as exploitative.

2. NORTH KOREA TAKES 2012 AS A PERSONAL INSULT

2012

“Aren’t most American films banned in North Korea?” you might be asking. If so, you’d be right. For reasons that probably won’t surprise anyone, North Korea isn’t entirely fond of American films as a rule, and often worry about what kind of influence they might have on the populace. There are some films, however, which really bother the government. The Interview, for example, didn’t go over well in North Korea, given that the movie was an elaborate parody of the controversy and its leadership (and, you know, depicted a scene in which the nation’s leader is assassinated). That just makes sense.

What makes less sense, at first, is why the Roland Emerich movie 2012 attracted so much hatred from North Korea. As it turns out, 2012 marked the 100th birthday of North Korean founder Kim II-sung. Kim Jong-il saw 2012 as America’s attempt to imply that this monumental year for the country would somehow lead to the destruction of the Earth. North Korea came down hard on the movie and reportedly arrested anyone who possessed a copy of it or had even seen it. Possessing the movie was punishable by up to five years in prison. Naturally.

1. CHINA BANS BACK TO THE FUTURE AND ALL OTHER TIME TRAVEL FILMS

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There’s no shortage of movies that have been banned in China. The Chinese government is particularly rigid when it comes to movies that may in any way upset the status quo or portray the country in a negative light. In short, just about any movie that potentially offends the pride of the country is more than likely going to get banned. Sometimes, a movie such as Avatar will even get partially banned on the grounds that it is too successful and might impact the domestic market (seriously). Of course, none of this explains why Back to the Future would get banned in China some 26 years after its release.

The answer to that question has to do with a national decree the Chinese government handed down in which they informed filmmakers everywhere that the popular trend of making movies that dealt with time travel had to cease immediately. Why? Apparently, the government felt that the very concept of time travel was disrespectful to history. In the case of Back to the Future III, we might agree with them, but preventing a country from watching the original 1985 classic by Robert Zemeckis? What happened to you China? You used to be cool.

SOURCE


Sparking Outrage: Weather Channel Meteorologist Claims Haiti Is Severely Deforested Because Children Eat The Trees!

Sparking Outrage: Weather Channel Meteorologist Claims Haiti Is Severely Deforested Because Children Eat The Trees!

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Viewers this week expressed outraged at Weather Channel Meteorologist Jen Delgado, who asserted that the deforesting of Haiti could be attributed to hungry children eating the trees.While reporting on Hurricane Matthew on Monday, Delgado noted that Haiti faced additional risk because the country had fewer trees than the Dominican Republic. “That’s because this whole area has been essentially deforested,” she explained. “They take all the trees down, the burn the trees. Even the kids there, they’re so hungry, they actually eat the trees.”


25 Signs That Humanity Is Doomed

25 Signs That Humanity Is Doomed

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Despite all of our technology and innovation, it's tough to shake the feeling that humanity is getting dumber. The signs are all around us. Check out the examples below for evidence of the dumbening of humankind.

1. Those Tramway Authority types are such sticklers

2. Mind = blown

3. Point taken

4. But does the road get wet when it rains?

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via Pinterest / Alpha Omega Soaps

5. Take that, boss

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6. Keep on pushing

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via DeviantArt / kirlia1912

7. Hello, In Training!

8. Herp the derptour

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via Twitter / @YerdNerp

9. Trapped!

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via Photobucket / adina_gal

10. Apostrophes and spaces are your friend

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21. So...no Chippendales?

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via Pinterest / Chuckling Duckling Farm

22. There's a connection, but Wendy's has it backwards

23. The graphics guy just doesn't care

24. It's a secret recipe

25. I think that's illegal


This Guy's Missus Reckons She Can Run Faster Than Usain Bolt

This Guy's Missus Reckons She Can Run Faster Than Usain Bolt

Jen

Looks like we've got a future record breaker here


13 WORLD RECORDS OF STUPIDITY AND IDIOCY

13 WORLD RECORDS OF STUPIDITY AND IDIOCY

There's a thin line between mental retardation and genius. Only about 60 IQ points. Some of the following records fall into the former category, while others could be classified as strangely impressive. If anything, these people make it clear that any one of us can be outliers in our own way.

Woman Caught Speeding Three Times in One Hour
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On July 7, Kai Kitchen -- not to be confused with the Chinese restaurant -- was busted going 93 mph along I-81 in Dublin, Virginia. Forty minutes later, she was clocked going 97 mph. Kitchen apparently thought she was invisible, because a mere 20 minutes later, police pulled her over a third time for going 94 mph. The smooth criminal was booked and released with a $1,000 fine. She is no longer allowed to drive in the state of Virginia for an entire year.

Oldest Prostitute
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Meet Sheila Vogel-Coupe. At 85 years old, she decided against becoming a Walmart greeter and instead chose the world's oldest profession. At $420 an hour, could you blame her? The Mirror reports that she "entertains" up to 10 clients a week. And by "entertains," I mean she has sex with armies of GILF hunters looking for a good time.

"They see something about me. It's a nice feeling. I know I am very, very sexy." That's up for debate. Coupe began fornicating more than an SEC sorority girl after her husband died of natural causes. "I love sex," she put it simply. She is the oldest known prostitute ever to have her services publicly advertised on mass media.

The Only Person to Ever Jump Off the Golden Gate Bridge for Fun and Survive

Otter Vilagomez is a dumbass. A brave, beautiful, innocent dumbass. In 2011, the then-17-year-old California kid was on a field trip visiting San Francisco Bay when he decided to impress his friends. He took one look at water 220 feet below and said, "No big." Otter didn't know that 98 percent of people die when they jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, hitting the water at speeds of up to 75 mph. It is the most popular spot in the world for suicide.

"It felt like getting hit by a truck," he said. When he slammed into the water, he suffered only bruising and tenderness. A surfer nearby who paddled to Otter said Otter told him he did it just "for kicks." He somehow hit the water at an angle with his slim frame and survived. That, or his thick skull broke his fall. Since 1937, 1,600 people have leaped to their deaths from the bridge, and Otter is the only one to have done it with a smile on his face and lived to tell the tale.

Bulgarian Man Registers a .914% BAC
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In December 2004, a man from Plovdiv, Bulgaria, was taken to the hospital after a car crash. He spoke clearly and coherently, giving no impression that he was tanked like an Irishman with alcohol poisoning. The anonymous man registered a BAC so high that doctors thought their equipment was broken. They had to do the test five times. It is obvious this Bulgarian legend had those Ozzy Osbourne genes because no mortal man could survive such an astronomical blood-booze level. He was also 67.

Wisconsin Man Eats 28,000 Big Macs
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Like the Bulgarian boozehound above, Don Gorske seems to have some special metabolism designed to withstand tremendous stress. In 1972, Gorske began eating Big Macs and never looked back. "I promised myself that no matter how rotten things would get, I would have a Big Mac every day," he said. It's surprising things haven't gotten more rotten for him. In 2006, the Guinness people awarded him the honor after tallying 26,000 Big Macs to his resume. He has since continued with his McDiscipline and is probably well beyond the 28,000 mark at this point.

Michigan Woman Takes a 26-Foot-Long Poop
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"In February 1995, working in conjunction with nutritionists at the University of Michigan-Ann Arbor, I adopted a super fiber-rich diet which allowed me to successfully produce a single extruded excrement measuring the exact length of my colon: 26 feet." These were the words of Michelle Hines, who, in 1995, squat-walked along a bowling alley lane to create the longest turd ever cut. Some have said it was a hoax, but I choose to believe it was real. It was documented in her art piece titled "World Record #4: Peristaltic Action." Art students...

Woman Marries 23 Times
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Linda Wolfe of Indiana is the most married woman of all time. She is literally "addicted to the romance." Over the course of her life, Wolfe has married two homosexuals, two hobos and a one-eyed convict. As a publicity stunt, she married the most married man, Jack Gourley, who had racked up an impressive 29 ex-wives before he died (likely from alimony payments).

Australian Plays "Call of Duty" for 135 Hours Straight
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In 2012, a 28-year-old smashed the Guinness World Record for longest gaming session. He was able to accomplish the feat by taking short breaks, presumably to poo, pee and power nap. To avoid blood clots which have actually killed chronic gamers in the past, Okan Kaya occasionally played on a stair master. "My hands were cramping up and I went through a lot of bandages," he told the Australian Associated Press.

The $4.1 Million Car Wreck
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Eight Ferraris, one Lamborghini and three Mercedes Benzes. In December 2011, luxury automobile enthusiasts traveling to a festival in Hiroshima created a 14-car wreck. One of the Ferrari drivers tried to change lanes and struck another. According to World Record Academy, it was the most expensive wreckage of all time. Thankfully, no one died, except for that Ferrari driver's bank account.

Chicago Woman Racks Up 678 Parking Tickets
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Parking at O'Hare International can be expensive. Just ask Jennifer Fitzgerald, a 1999 Chevy Monte Carlo owner who left it there for three years. From November 17, 2009 to April 30, 2012, she accrued a depressing $105,761 in fines. Thankfully, she had a good lawyer, and in 2013 the fine was dropped to only $4,470. Employees at Chicago O'Hare apparently thought it was a cash cow and never reported the vehicle's three-year presence.

The Only Known Plane Crash Caused by a Crocodile
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Eighteen people, including pilot Chris Wilson, died in a plane crash in the Congo after the reptilian in question escaped from a passenger's bag. Investigators said that a stampede of panicked flyers rushed to the front of the plane, causing it to stall and plummet to earth. The croc was allegedly only two to three feet long.

Oldest Male Stripper -- 60 Years Old
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Not idiotic, but awesomely off-kilter. In 2003, Bernie Barker was recognized as the oldest male stripper by the Guinness Record Book. He did it for noble reasons: He was diagnosed with colon cancer and stripped to keep in shape. In his brief, bright career, Barker titled in 42 stripper contests. He tragically succumbed to the cancer and died in 2007. But like a sexy Walter White, he heroically went out in a blaze of glory.

Longest Ear Hair -- 10 Inches
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He combined his hair and washed it with the finest herbal shampoos. He ignored stares and the pleas of his wife to cut it. For they didn't know. In 2003, Radhakant Baijpai accomplished what he set out to do from the age of 18: get recognized for his extraterrestrial-like ear hair. It measured an astounding 25 centimeters. As for his wife's opinion, he told the Daily Mail, "She has always been asking me to cut my ear-hair, but since the official record as confirmed by Guinness, she has allowed me to keep it because it is a source of pride for me." You do you, boo.

Source   I Am Bored


Man Shoots His Wife With A Nerf Gun Every Day For A Week And Her Descent Into Madness Is Amazing

Man Shoots His Wife With A Nerf Gun Every Day For A Week And Her Descent Into Madness Is Amazing

 

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This dude was a single Nerf dart away from giving his children two Christmas’ this year. There is going to be retribution in the future that he will never see coming.


There Is No Way This Elevator Is Up To Code

There Is No Way This Elevator Is Up To Code

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You guys may have cool Windows, but you've got shitty elevators.

 


10 Most Idiotic Ways To Die In Games

10 Most Idiotic Ways To Die In Games

Death comes to us all when we game, presenting us with anger-inducing Game Over screens and the feeling of defeat. Sometimes, those deaths are well-earned and are the outcome of taking on a strong enemy or attempting to complete a maneuver that requires great skill. This list is about the types of deaths we suffer that are just plain dumb. These lost lives are due to stupidity or simply bad luck. Oh, and just make a note that some of these deaths are pretty gruesome and are NSFW.

Death by Cuccos - The Legend of Zelda series

We'll start off with a classic. If you've been gaming for a good while, then you're probably well aware of The Legend of Zelda series. If you're familiar with Link's adventures, then you're probably familiar with his many enemies. It turns out, however, that the humble chicken, known as the Cucco, is Link's greatest foe. Antagonizing one of them can bring down a fowl doom upon our intrepid hero. Don't poke the chickens. They will poke back—with a vengeance.

Getting run over - Grand Theft Auto V

There's a wide arsenal in Grand Theft Auto V for players to use, ranging from small firearms to the death-bringing Rhino Tank. With so many tools at one's disposal, you'd think that the dumbest way to die in this game would involve some kind of rocket launcher mishap or a grenade bouncing back, right? Nope. It turns out that all you need to suffer an idiotic death is to be on the street at the wrong place and time and a non-player character will happily perform a hit and run on you. The provided video doesn't have a death resulting from being run over, but it's still pretty silly nonetheless. This is why we look both ways before crossing the street to perforate a guy with an uzi.

Overcooking a grenade - Most first-person shooters

Anyone who has played a first-person shooter within the last few years should be familiar with the concept of "cooking" a grenade. This involves holding an unpinned grenade in your hand for a bit before chucking it at your enemy, with the hope that it explodes upon impact and not bounce around on the ground. Sometimes, players do this thing where they successfully cook a grenade, but then forget the whole "throw it at the enemy" part. Once you've overcooked a grenade, chances are that you will be well done.

Water slide of death - Tomb Raider

The 2013 reboot of Tomb Raider gave us a look at a young Lara Croft, who was just transitioning into the hardy survivor and adventurer we know today. She suffered many hardships and fought against lots of bad guys on Yamatai Island, but no amount of shimmying and shooting could save her from the treacherous terrain. Every now and then, there'd be a section of the game that had Lady Croft tumbling down a steep hill or being washed downstream by a river. If you weren't careful and failed to steer her towards safety, Lara would meet a grim end—via impalement.

Rocket jump fails - Team Fortress 2

The rocket jump is a skill employed by many advanced players in Team Fortress 2. The Soldier, as dimwitted as he is, can use his rocket launcher in a clever way and propel himself forward by firing at his feet and jumping. This technique takes a while to master, but eventually players get the hang of it. Some gamers fail to realize that the rocket jump can actually damage you and end up dying from the blast or jumping so high that their legs crumple from the fall. Other unfortunate players launch themselves off of cliffs and suffer humiliation, especially when the game announces that they've fallen to a clumsy death. That's pretty harsh.

Care Package fails - The Call of Duty series

Getting a small Killstreak and receiving a Care Package in return is a pretty good feeling in the Call of Duty series. This bit of incentive gives players more of a cause to play smart and stay alive to rack up higher Killstreaks. Sometimes, however, players roll a one and end up being killed by their own Care Packages, which drop out of the sky. There are few things more humiliating than killing yourself by simply getting bonked with your own Care Package. Even worse is that you get to see it happen on your KillCam.

Standing in fire - World of Warcraft

This one is a no-brainer, but many players have committed the unforgivable act of standing in fire until they die. In World of Warcraft's dungeons and raids, bosses usually cover the ground with fire, acid, or some kind of goop that reduces your health over time, usually at a rapid pace. A dungeon run could be going exceptionally well but then immediately turn into a huge mess because someone isn't paying attention to where they're standing. It could even happen in the wild by yourself sometimes. If it looks like it could kill you, it probably will, so do yourself a favor and not stand in it.

Romancing Morinth - Mass Effect 2

Everything in Mass Effect 2 could be going well (or as well as things can go when there's the threat of universal destruction), but one small choice could end the adventure immediately. Commander Shepard has the choice of romancing any of his crew mates, even the lovely and dangerous Morinth.

Why is she dangerous? She's an Ardat-Yakshi, which is kind of like an alien succubus. At one point, she admits to Shepard that she absorbs the life force from her lovers and leaves them dead, black widow-style. Shepard can pay her a visit and try to engage in a little space opera hanky panky, and immediately suffer a soul-sucking death. What ensues is a Mission Failed screen, because "death by Snu-Snu" is a thing.

Impatience - Sonic CD

"Patience is a virtue" is something that Sonic the Hedgehog never learned in Sonic CD. If you leave your controller alone and let Sonic idly stand for a little while, he'll get so fed up with waiting that he'll actually say, "I'm outta here!" in true '90s fashion and jump off the stage, leading to a Game Over screen. You'll then get some creepy Game Over music and wonder why he couldn't have just waited. As far as video game deaths go, this one feels like one of the most offbeat. Do yourself a favor and make sure you pause the game next time.

Quick time event failure - Resident Evil 5 and 6

We've finally reached the bane of many a player's existence: the quick time event. In Resident Evil 5 and 6 (and other. similar action titles), you're presented every so often with a QTE that tasks you with pressing specific buttons at just the right time. Failure to do so results in an immediate death.

Resident Evil 5 and 6 are so bogged down by these QTEs that it's nearly impossible not to see at least one or two brutal deaths starring your favorite zombie slayer. You'll be enjoying a cutscene one minute and then be totally unprepared for the QTE, leading to a Game Over and the trouble of having to watch a cutscene over again until you get to the part where you died. It is the worst. You better train up your reflexes, or you'll end up reliving your failures over and over again.


16 People Who Made Themselves Look So, So Stupid on Facebook

16 People Who Made Themselves Look So, So Stupid on Facebook

If you ever needed a reason to delete Facebook and go outside, then this is it. Seriously, how can one place acquire so many Darwinism Award winners?

We're honestly baffled. Amused. But baffled.

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via  wowicangetsexualtoo

 

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10 OF THE MOST HIGH-TECH VERSIONS OF EVERYTHING FOR PEOPLE WITH TOO MUCH MONEY

10 OF THE MOST HIGH-TECH VERSIONS OF EVERYTHING FOR PEOPLE WITH TOO MUCH MONEY

There's rich, and then there's stupid rich. For those people with way too much money on their hands, or just people who enjoy incredibly, suffocating debt, try on some of these high-tech versions of everyday things for size. You don't need them (save for the sex doll) but maybe you should just suck it up and buy them anyway.

Real Doll's Sex Doll ($51,000)
The Most High-Tech Versions of Everything For People With Too Much Money
Yeah, they're real. They're more than real, at least that's what the 40-thousand-some-odd Real Doll customers might say. Never been in love? Well, you've probably never had one of the world's finest Love Dolls, about as real and authentic as lifeless sex dolls get. There's the Classic Real Doll, Real Doll 2, Boy Toy and plenty of replaceable heads, torsos and transgender options. That's not the least bit creepy to read. Or you can have this one for $10,000.

International Space Station Toilet ($19 million)
The Most High-Tech Versions of Everything For People With Too Much Money
You can't call it a "shitter" if it's costing you millions. While there are toilets that lift the lid when you're in proximity, warm your tush while you push and play music while you do your duty, this one actually filters your bowel movements into drinkable water. We can't believe it can't make your shit into beer. Crap! Total crap!

Clearaudio Statement Turntable ($170,000)
The Most High-Tech Versions of Everything For People With Too Much Money
It's one of those incredibly stupid things worth way too much money: a 770-pound clear acrylic audiophile wet dream costing about as much as three top-of-the-line luxury cars. This magnetic turntable removes any hiccup you've ever had in your listening experience with a high-speed microprocessor-controlled motor drive unit, like NASA on Mars kind of shit. No skipping? Say it is so! Though the player is about as high tech as music listening gets, it doesn't seem to be self-flipping, which is exactly what I would demand if I were a rich, lazy asshole.

Volvorii Timeless Smart Shoe
The Most High-Tech Versions of Everything For People With Too Much Money
Ladies (and some men), this one is for you: color-changing high-tech high heels. Yes, why buy a closetful of shoes when you can just get a smart pair that changes with the click of a button on your app. Created by iSüu Tech, the rubber and leather Bluetooth shoe allows women to continue getting dressed after you guys leave the house. Now the madness never has to end.

Self-Sterilizing Door Handles
The Most High-Tech Versions of Everything For People With Too Much Money
Ever heard of moist towelettes? Guess not. This anti-bacteria, influenza-fighting handle gives the doors in your house the shit-free existence they deserve, especially if you have lots of house guests who don't wash after they wipe. Ground zero is bacteria breeding, door handles are getting rewritten as horizontal bars you push down to open. When closed, the UV lamp in the bar lights up and kills any residual bacteria, thus killing any likelihood of spreading bacteria. It's perfect for you snot-nosed kids who still pick your nose.

SurfLoch Surfpool ($4 million)
The Most High-Tech Versions of Everything For People With Too Much Money
Who wants a still swimming pool when you could get some waves in there for an extra few million? The leader in surfing technology, WaveLoch can bring the wave machine in a big way with their Wave House and SurfPool in an energy-efficient surf course with reef levels for beginners to experts. Who needs a crowded ocean when you can avoid swallowing used condoms for just a few mil?

Mobile Bohemian Home
The Most High-Tech Versions of Everything For People With Too Much Money
This mobile home was originally a Malibu dump, which was transformed into this fancy Bohemian mobile chateau. However stereotypical of California, this gem is a rarity and by far the most advanced in the realm of mobile homes. From Moroccan tile work to Indian fabrics and full home amenities, including washer-dryer, this 600-square-foot beauty with its Vent-A-Hood top-of-the line stove and brass accents is one of a kind.

iCarta iPod Toilet Roll Holder ($60)
The Most High-Tech Versions of Everything For People With Too Much Money
There's nothing worse than taking a shit in silence when others can hear. Well, no more! Now the shitter has a "shitee" companion that can play music. But regardless of how much Nickelback gets played off this thing, that goddamn toilet paper better still be put on in the right direction.

LED Shower Light ($50)
The Most High-Tech Versions of Everything For People With Too Much Money
"Painting the ceiling" has never been more real a term thanks to LED Ceiling, a pen-controlled light show where you can design the shapes that adorn the wall above your head. Just the same, the LED Shower Light allows you to have a colorful shower. It's official that if you have one of these LED lighting sets, you have way too much time and money and not enough friends. There's also the LED chandelier, which may also belie symptoms of loneliness and despair.

Toilet Seat Scale
The Most High-Tech Versions of Everything For People With Too Much Money
Haikun Deng has invented the newest fun bathroom time waster: the shit scale. Designed with a built-in scale, poopers can get a sense of the before and after when it comes to trips to the john. This game could get pretty intense around Thanksgiving, fun for the whole family!

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Kanye West Threatens To Sue Creators Of App For Making Him Look Like A Moron

Kanye West Threatens To Sue Creators Of App For Making Him Look Like A Moron

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What a moron…

Back in 2014 it started when Lindsay Lohan sued Rockstar Games, claiming that Grand Theft Auto V featured a character who is allegedly based on her.

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Last year former Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega filed suit  against Activision Blizzard Inc., the makers ofCall of Duty: Black Ops II, for using his likeness without permission. According to the complaint, Activision depicted Noriega as “a kidnapper, murderer and enemy of the state,”

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Lohan’s & Noriega’s cases have been dismissed because the use of a person’s likeness in a video game varies from state to state and one “cannot control the likeness of publicity”

Now Kanye is taking his chances at an online app that has gone viral with his cartoon image being used.

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Someone from Kanye’s PR company emailed the creators of WhackAMoron (who we have promoted on this site and other social media.) a generic DCMA take down with links to the “exclusive copyrights” they own.

 

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The DMCA and lawsuit don’t seem to be scaring the developers of WhackAMoron, they fired back the following response:

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Classic! SUCK IT KANYE!

If you are interested in downloading the game to piss off Kanye West or any other moron you want you here you go: AppleAndroid 

Source

 


Budweiser Has A New Name, And That Name Is America

Budweiser Has A New Name, And That Name Is America

 

Let's just get this out of the way quickly because you're probably not going to understand it the first time I say it: Budweiser is renaming its beer "America." The beer Budweiser will henceforth be known as America. When you gingerly lift a tall boy of Budweiser out of your bodega's fridge, what you'll really be lifting is a tall boy of America. Got it? Budweiser, the King of Beers, will now respond only to its new chosen name, America.
America, as you may be aware, is also the name of a country. Budweiser doesn't seem to mind this conflation, and instead seems to view its name choice as something of a patriotic duty. The rebranding is a nod to the 2016 presidential race, Fast Co Design reports, and the cans will reportedly go back to normal after the November election. Tosh Hall, the creative director at the branding firm behind the name change, delivered a really perfect nonsense statement to Fast Co: "We thought nothing was more iconic than Budweiser and nothing was more iconic than America." Nothing is more iconic than Budweiser, except perhaps America, and nothing is more iconic than America, except perhaps Budweiser.
I am both sincerely giddy and honestly disturbed by this news. While it's true that I do love spectacle, and I do love to yell "AMERICA" in a husky voice every time I crack open a can of Bud, I don't like my beer-fueled patriotism foisted upon me like some red, white, and blue cold sore. And while this is delightful to me in the same way that dogs who walk on two legs are delightful to me (i.e., completely unaware of their own absurdity), there are definitely some people out there who will respond to this news with entirely straight-faced statements like, "It's about time someone named their beer after the greatest country in the world." Dear God. Or should I say, Beer God.

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One more thing: does this mean we can now use the terms "Budweiser" and "America" interchangeably? The United States of Budweiser? Budweiser's Got Talent? Budweiser Ferrera? Who knows! Throw everything you used to know in the trash, and crack open an America, because this is Budweiser country now.


10 Moronic Teens Who Were Killed Mimicking ‘Jackass’

10 Moronic Teens Who Were Killed Mimicking ‘Jackass’

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They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but flattery does not reflect intelligence. The following individuals learned that the hard way.

Most of us have seen or heard of the short-lived MTV show Jackass, which starred Johnny Knoxville and his gang of stooges. Although the show featured disclaimers that urged viewers not to mimic the program’s dangerous stunts, that did not deter the dim-witted.

10.  Drugs, Alcohol, And A Bulletproof Vest

In July 2014, 30-year-old Mark Ramiro and his friend of 15 years, Darnell Mitchell, were on an all-night binge of drugs and alcohol when the duo began daring one another. Mitchell was dared to lick a toilet, which he did. Afterward, he decided to up the ante by taking a bullet to the chest while wearing a bulletproof vest.

The duo’s intention was to create a Jackass-style video that would bring them fame and fortune. As the camera began to roll, Mitchell instructed Ramiro to shoot him in the chest. But Ramiro’s aim was a little high, and he shot Mitchell once in the upper chest.

Although he was rushed to the hospital by Ramiro and a few other friends, Mitchell was pronounced dead after medical staff attempted to revive him. Ramiro stayed at the hospital and waited for authorities to take him into custody. He pled guilty to second-degree murder and was sentenced to four years in prison.

9.  A Pickup Truck And A Burning Chair

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In November 2002, 18-year-old Adam Ports and three friends decided to create and record their own stunt. The four teenagers, all students at Tiffin University in Ohio, hopped into a pickup truck and headed out into the country.

There, the teens took an old chair and set it on fire. Then they threw the chair off the bed of the moving truck. In the chaos of filming their exploits, Ports lost his balance and fell out of the bed of the pickup. He was taken to a hospital and died the following day of head injuries sustained in the accident.

In a report, Seneca County’s Sergeant Brian Hescht decried the teenagers’ attempt to create a stunt that was similar to what they had seen on the TV showJackass.

Marnie Malter, a spokesperson from the MTV/Paramount network, disagreed with Hescht’s claims. She stated, “The police report that was filed makes it clear that this incident has no connection to any stunts performed on the Jackasstelevision show or film.”

Johnny Knoxville expressed his condolences to the Ports family while also stating, “We have warnings at the beginning and the end. In every interview I have ever given, I have stressed: ‘Don’t try this at home.’ We steer away from stunts that are easily imitable.”

8. Playground Carousel

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A 20-year-old man in Germany was part of a group of six men known as the “Bavarian Dumbasses.” They uploaded videos on the Internet that showed the gang partaking in dangerous stunts that were styled after the show Jackass.

In one stunt, the other young men taped the 20-year-old man to a spinning playground carousel. Then they attached a rope from the carousel to a BMW. The men put the car in full throttle to achieve maximum spinning velocity, which caused the tape to rip and hurl the man across the park.

After hearing shouts for help, bystanders rushed to the scene. According to one witness, a man was lying on the ground, possibly with a broken neck and covered in blood.

Two other members of the Bavarian Dumbasses were taken to the hospital and treated for shock. The 20-year-old victim, who has only been identified as Tobias, was pronounced dead at the scene.

7.  The Mummy

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In 2004 in Norway, an 18-year-old Swedish teenager and two of his friends decided to play in traffic. Since that idea lacked originality and perhaps creativity, the young man decided to wear a mummy-like costume.

After donning the attire as if it were Halloween, the 18-year-old man handed his two friends a video camera and asked them to film his exploits. Then he ran onto a busy highway and lay down in front of oncoming traffic.

One car was able to swerve out of the way before colliding with the man. However, less than 20 seconds later, a second car was unable to stop and ran over the young man. The entire incident was captured on tape, and police speculated that the three were “motivated by the MTV stunt show, Jackass.”

6.  The Ultimate Belly Flop

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In May 2008, Matt Evans, an honor student and senior at Granite City High School, was only 10 days away from graduating and moving on to college. That night, Evans and a couple friends were outside of Evans’s home when another friend drove up the street honking and shouting in celebration of their upcoming graduation.

Evans, who was known as a practical joker to his friends and who would often partake in pranks similar to those on Jackass, jumped on the approaching car and landed on the hood in a belly flop.

One of the individuals in the moving car stated that Evans did not have a good grip and was slipping off. Instead of simply slowing down, the driver panicked and slammed on the brakes.

Evans was thrown from the vehicle. He landed headfirst on the pavement outside his home. Although he was taken to a hospital, he never regained consciousness and was pronounced dead the following night.

5.  Hood Riding Part II

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In December 2002, just two months after Jackass: The Movie opened in theaters, 15-year-old Stephen Paul Rauen from Albuquerque, New Mexico, attempted to recreate a stunt that he had seen in the film. Like Matt Evans, Rauen decided to jump on the hood of a moving vehicle.

As the vehicle approached Rauen, he jumped on the hood of the car. The driver slammed on the brakes and sent Rauen hurtling to the pavement. Unlike Evans, who died because he smashed his head, Rauen was run over by the vehicle, which ended up dragging him a short distance.

Albuquerque police spokesman Jeff Arbogast stated that the teens were indeed imitating a stunt that they had seen on Jackass. The police department also had reports that the individuals involved had performed similar stunts in the past.

4.  Railroad Tracks

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In December 2002, a 13-year-old Indiana boy named Aaron Brown and five other teens were imitating stunts that they had seen on Jackass. The six teenagers were speeding in a van at 110 kilometers per hour (70 mph) across railroad tracks.

After the third pass, the driver lost control of the vehicle and crashed into a parked van, causing the vehicle to slide more than 120 meters (400 ft). Five of the teens were injured in the crash. Unfortunately, Aaron Brown died.

Investigators found a camcorder in the van along with stunts that the teens had previously recorded. Investigators also found video of the show Jackass in the van.

The 17-year-old driver of the van openly admitted to police that he had been driving too fast on the railroad tracks. The teen also admitted to almost running over a bicyclist on the first pass across the railroad tracks.

3.  Car Surfing

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In March 2008 in Florida, 18-year-old Cameron Bieberle was “car surfing” in a parking lot. While sitting in a shopping cart, Bieberle held onto the bumper of a car that was driven by his 23-year-old friend Michael A. Smith. The cart hit a speed bump and sent Bieberle flying 10 meters (30 ft) through the air. Bieberle landed on his head and died at the scene.

According to reports, Bieberle and Smith had previously videotaped themselves riding in shopping carts in parking lots while pushing and slamming one another into objects.

Bieberle’s father told investigators that he believes the show Jackass inspired his son to engage in these dangerous stunts. In 2011, Smith was convicted of vehicular manslaughter in the death of Bieberle and sentenced to four years in prison. He also received 11 years of probation and a permanent revocation of his driver’s license.

2.  One, Two, Three, Jump

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In September 2005, 18-year-old Adam E. Page from Vermont was carrying out a preplanned stunt with his 18-year-old friend Adam Cota. The two had intended to mimic stunts from Jackass.

At 6:00 PM, Page was driving his 1995 Subaru Legacy at around 50 kilometers per hour (30 mph) when he opened his door and jumped out of the vehicle with the car in cruise control. Cota, who was in the front passenger seat, grabbed the steering wheel. He turned the car around to check on Page, who was lying unresponsive on the roadway.

Page died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Investigators recovered a videotape that Cota had been recording of Page’s stunt from the front passenger seat. Two other teenagers, who were not identified, had been sitting in the backseat of Page’s car during the stunt. One of those teens had also filmed the stunt.

1.  Booze, Stunts, And Murder

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In 2014, Neill Buchel was a 39-year-old father of two living in England. On the evening of March 13, he was hanging out at a flat with a group of his so-called friends. That was the last time that Buchel was seen alive. Nearly three weeks later, his butchered remains were found strewn throughout different lakes in the towns near his home.

It was later revealed that Buchel often spent time with his “mates,” who lived in adjacent flats. They drank heavily and willingly participated in dangerous, Jackass-style stunts that the men often filmed.

Some of the games inflicted serious harm on the men. For example, they put chili powder on their genitals and set their pubic hair on fire. The violence escalated that night in March when the men brutally beat Buchel to death and chopped up his body into 10 pieces.

In the end, five men stood trial. Three of the men were found guilty of conspiracy to pervert the course of justice and sentenced to 3–5 years in prison. Two other men were found guilty of murder and sentenced to life imprisonment with a minimum of 21 years each.

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On January 21, 2004, the obituary of 16-year-old Roberta “Bobbi” MacKinnon appeared in a California newspaper. She had been an honor student who was in her junior year at Marysville High School.

Four days earlier, the young girl with a bright future had met other teens at a nearby park. There, the teenagers tried to reenact a stunt that they had seen on Jackass.

The teens attached a rope to a merry-go-round and then tied the opposite end of the rope to a pickup truck. The truck sped off, spinning the merry-go-round with great force and throwing Bobbi 25 meters (75 ft). She landed in the street. Although attempts were made to save her, Bobbi’s injuries were too severe and she died that day.

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Could Justin Bieber’s Dad Look Any More Like A First-Class F*ckboy At His Engagement Party?

 

Could Justin Bieber’s Dad Look Any More Like A First-Class F*ckboy At His Engagement Party?

I want to preface this by saying that if my son was the biggest pop star on the planet, I would act exactly how Jeremy Bieber acts–which is a shoe-in for a first ballot Hall of Fame fuckboy 10,000. I would buy more fedoras and scaly caps than I’d know what to do with, I’d rock studded earrings and a spray tan that would make Don Cheadle look like Carrot Top.

Jeremy Bieber, who is 40-years-old, recently had an engagement party in Toronto complete with superheroes, tigers, and the son who allowed him to wear a white scaly cap and not get punched in the sniffer.

And while I’ll never hate on someone for finding true love, I will hate on a guy who presents himself like Bieber’s dad does. 11 out of 10 times.

 

https://twitter.com/john/status/726780230824792065?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

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Fuckboys attract other fuckboys. It’s science. That dude on the left may just be the leader of this group of Fuckboys.

Jeremy Biebs is the real life Colin Farrell from Horrible Bosses.

I guess I’m being a little bitter. I wish nothing but the best for Jeremy and his bride-to-be.

https://www.instagram.com/p/_-fDoGtlyg/

That fucking hat though. Unforgivable.

SOURCE


15 Yahoo Questions That Will Make You Sad For Humanity

15 Yahoo Questions That Will Make You Sad For Humanity

Yahoo! Questions is where ignorance breeds and intelligence dies. Here are some of the best questions and answers for your enjoyment.

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Yahoo Questions That Will Make You Sad for Humanity

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Yahoo Questions That Will Make You Sad for Humanity

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Yahoo Questions That Will Make You Sad for Humanity

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Yahoo Questions That Will Make You Sad for Humanity

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Yahoo Questions That Will Make You Sad for Humanity

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Yahoo Questions That Will Make You Sad for Humanity

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Yahoo Questions That Will Make You Sad for Humanity

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Yahoo Questions That Will Make You Sad for Humanity

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Yahoo Questions That Will Make You Sad for Humanity

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Yahoo Questions That Will Make You Sad for Humanity

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‘He Dead:’ Brazilian Dude Uses Ballerina Move In Fight, Gets Knocked Out Cold

‘He Dead:’ Brazilian Dude Uses Ballerina Move In Fight, Gets Knocked Out Cold

Just by watching the first few seconds of this video I knew that the dude in the white shirt was going to get destroyed. White shirt guy was all flailing and making ridiculous fake moves that weren’t fooling anyone. Meanwhile the guy in the gray shirt is there in a compact stance not falling for any of those shit fakes.

White shirt gets one lucky punch to the face in, but then he shows his true lack of fighting skills. Grey goes on the attack and white takes the defensive maneuver of just spinning in a circle, hoping that one of his fists accidentally connects. Yes, he actually believed that doing a spinning pirouette like a dainty ballerina would win the fight.

It didn’t win the fight for him, but it did manage to leave his face completely unprotected.

And…

BOOM!

Grey connects with a mighty punch and knocks him out. He smashed into the pavement, but luckily for him, his face broke his fall.

Minus 10 points to the victor who kicked an unconscious man while he was down. No need for that sort of fuckery.

Maybe next fight perform a ballerina petit saut mini jump and saunter the fuck outta there so you don’t get KO’d.


13 “Reality” Shows That Are Not “Reality” At All

13 “Reality” Shows That Are Not “Reality” At All

13 “Reality” Shows That Are Not “Reality” At All

Back in 1992, Music Television (or MTV) stopped playing its music videos and started showing The Real World, the first reality show ever created. People were tired of watching boring dramas, and the incessant drones of laugh tracks created just for the sitcoms were becoming incredibly annoying. People wanted something they could relate to, and the barrage of reality shows have not stopped ever since the first episode was released.

Unfortunately, not all reality shows are as real as we may think. Sometimes when you see a show such as Dancing with the Stars, you may wonder if it isn’t staged, or if they might already know the outcome before the show even starts? Or what about some of the stars who have a lot more dancing experience than others? The same goes for just about all of the other ones that are out there, and it’s difficult to find out just which ones are real and which ones, well, are fake. If someone hasn’t come straight out and admitted that the show isn’t real, then we will just go on believing that it is.

13. Crossing Over With John Edward

via: themorleyreport.blogspot.com

via: themorleyreport.blogspot.com

In 1999, John Edward was the host of his own show called Crossing Over with John Edward. This television series was based on the idea of a psychic medium (John) who could allegedly speak with the dead. For five years, John would look over the audience, searching for people who knew someone who died that was close to them and the deceased would act as if they were trying to contact their living loved one.

Many skeptics had joined the show to try to prove that John was a fraud and a fake. John would go around the audience, and then start calling out random letters that may (or may not) have belonged to people; such as, “I am seeing the letter M…Is there someone here that knows somebody that has passed with the name Mandy, or maybe, Mabel or Melinda?” This would usually get someone to say that they knew a person with that name who had passed on, and eventually John’s show ended in 2004.

12. Urban Tarzan

via: hollywoodreporter.com

via: hollywoodreporter.com

Apparently this was a show that was on Spike TV back in 2013, but there is no record of it onDemand through the cable company, but there are a few “episodes” available on YouTube. It is a show about a few guys who go around trying to catch wild animals from residential homes, and releasing them back into the wild. They catch snakes, cougars, crocodiles, and even claimed to see Chupacabra. Yes, that is Chupacabra, the goat-sucking, four-legged creature that really doesn’t exist.

11 The A-List: New York

via: web.poptower.com

via: web.poptower.com

The A-List: New York is a reality television series on cable that focuses primarily on gay men. It seems so predictable and scripted, and basically shows the “typical” gay man when showing the men on screen. There really is no reason to believe that this show would be real whatsoever. The show barely lasted a few years, and was cancelled in June 2012.

10. Mob Wives

via: tvdeets.com

via: tvdeets.com

If you think about what it’s like to be married to a man that kills people for a living, wouldn’t you want to be on your own television show? Apparently that is what VH1 was thinking when they developed Mob Wives, which aired from April 2011 until March 2016. It really is hard to determine whether this show is real or not; doesn’t every hit man want his wife or daughter to be aired on television to tell everyone about their lives? Surely everyone who is involved with the mob certainly looks just as good as the women on the show, as well, right?

9. House Hunters

via: hgtv.com

via: hgtv.com

This one on the list shouldn’t really come as too much of a shock to most people who have ever bought a house. Most people that have purchased a home know that it’s not that easy to just narrow down three houses, go take a looksee, then immediately decide which one they are going to buy; let alone be able to purchase it right away at the price that they need. It has been said that a lot of the people on this show have already bought their house, and the other two are just homes that belong to their friends in the area. As long as it makes for great television, that’s all that matters, right?

8. Breaking Amish

via: play.google.com

via: play.google.com

The people who “broke out” of the Amish community to live a life free of the restrictions of their upbringing may not be completely real, according to Jeremiah Raber. Jeremiah is the 34 year-old main character of the show, Amish, and made a statement regarding the producer of TLC; who Jeremiah said he had been friends with for 22 years. If Jeremiah really is Amish, how would he have been friends with a producer of a Hollywood-produced television show when he was just twelve years old? It just doesn’t make a lot of sense.

7. Mystery Diners

via: foodnetwork.com

via: foodnetwork.com

When a restaurant has not been operating properly or there are bizarre acts going on inside, something needs to be done about it. That is where the show Mystery Diners, comes into play. They have one or two people show up to eat at the establishment, or to basically become a “mystery diner,” and have them try to determine exactly what is going on in the restaurant.

According to several different sources, Mystery Diners was not a “real” reality show at all. Apparently, actors are paid to show up at the restaurant and be filmed. They also are told to “beef up the drama,” whether anything is going on in the establishment or not.

6. Hell’s Kitchen

via: youtube.com

via: youtube.com

This one, in particular, is personally upsetting since the host of the show Gordon Ramsay, is such a famous and entertaining icon. According to a previous contestant on the show, Jen Yemola, she states that she went on the show thinking that it was a real contest for chefs. She states that there was rarely a time when the contestants were able to eat, they got barely any sleep and Gordon was not actually saying what we heard on television. He was “fed lines through an earpiece,” and the show itself was rigged so the winner was who they wanted it to be.

5. The Pick-Up Artist

via: halfguarded.com

via: halfguarded.com

The Pick-Up Artist was a television “reality” show that only appeared for a year or two before people figured out that it wasn’t a reality show at all. The show was supposed to be based on a man who was too nerdy, excessively shy, or too much of an introvert to get a date. This was supposed to bring him out of his shell by transforming him into an outgoing, extroverted “player” who feels completely worthy of getting himself a date with just about anyone. The problem is that one woman had actually run into one of the contestants before the show aired. She met up with this man, and had passionately kissed him before he told her that he was going to be on the show. She then interviewed him, proving that the show was completely staged.

4. American Idol

via: theodysseyonline.com

via: theodysseyonline.com

Even though the singers on this show are real, according to a former member of the staff, the winners are already chosen before the show’s finale. The show has denied the allegations, but after the four contestants were mentioned, one of those had been immediately voted off of the show. TV Guide had even chosen those four, as well, to be voted off of the show at the time. This is one show that has not been proven to be ‘not real’, but the final episode airs in 2016, so chances are that we will never know for sure.

3. Storage Wars

via: huffingtonpost.ca

via: huffingtonpost.ca

At one point, A&E had the most popular reality show on television, Storage Wars, where people would bid on storage units in an auction-style fashion, in hopes of getting something worth a lot of money. The contestants would not know what was in the unit until it was paid for, and they rifled through the contents. Eventually, a former star of the show filed a lawsuit stating that it was all completely fake. David Hester stated that items were placed inside the units before buyers bid on the units, in order to make the show much more interesting. A&E denied the claims, but the show is apparently still on the air.

2. Jersey Shore

via: mtvasia.com

via: mtvasia.com

According to those who have witnessed filming of the series Jersey Shore, it is completely staged and about as far from reality that a reality show can get. Scripts are given to the stars on the show, and re-takes can be seen when they are walking down the street. If the directors don’t like the reactions of the girls, they will be told to do it again. Even the scenes inside different buildings are re-shot again and again, just to make sure that everything looks “perfect” once the show goes on air. During a filming in Italy, bodyguards were used to keep away people who were allegedly fighting in the streets, and Snooki wore a fake neck brace after an accident that she had caused. It is difficult to determine what, exactly, is real in this show and what isn’t.

1. Man vs Wild

via: meldmagazine.com.au

via: meldmagazine.com.au

Bear Grylls starred in the hit television show, Man vs Wild, where he would be “dropped” into a remote area, such as the middle of the woods, and then have to fend for himself, with limited supplies. Bear is known for surviving in various places; such as the rainforest and areas with extremely cold temperatures. In one episode, he was flown to Hawaii, and we later found out that Bear had actually stayed in a hotel during the show. He apologized, but the damage was already done. The show just wasn’t the same after the truth came out.

SOURCE


When Speeders See Cops...

When Speeders See Cops...

She's a terrible driver AND a lucky person


The 10 Worst Supervillain High-Tech Gadgets

The 10 Worst Supervillain High-Tech Gadgets

Supervillains are known for having the most inventive gadgets, the most advanced weaponry, and the most needlessly complicated means of eradicating their enemies or anyone else who happens to accidentally walk in front of the ray gun when it’s turned on. But clearly not every supervillain shops from the same Etsy store, as you can see by the following not-so-dastardly devices soon to be in a dollar store near you.

 

Transforming Groin Weapon

Codpiece firing his groin laser

(source)

Villain: Codpiece

Purpose: To get back at all the women he believed dumped him because of his short-changed sexual attributes and not simply because he’s an ass, Codpiece created a transforming genital weapon that could destroy anything in the most sublimated sexual urges way possible. The end result was a villain no one could make direct eye contact with as Codpiece still spent his every weekend—and weeknight—alone.

 

Flying Bike Killer Air Horn

Turner D. Century on his flying bicycle

(source)

Villain: Turner D. Century

Purpose: What do you do when you want to take San Francisco back from the hippies and inadvertently create a city of early-bird specials and runs on Centrum multivitamins? If you were Turner D. Century you would have attached an air horn to your flying bicycle that when heard killed everyone under the age of 65, if only because anyone older couldn’t hear it.

 

Atomic Booties

Goody Two-Shoes kicking The Thing with his atomic boots

(source)

Villain: Goody Two-Shoes

Purpose: Atomic boots were literally kick-ass shoes that only proved effective if no one thought to just punch Goody Two-Shoes in the mouth. That’s because while the special boots gave him the strength of The Thing from the ankles down, he was otherwise completely normally and stupidly unarmed, meaning he’d get in a few good cheap shots before someone just twisted his nose until he cried.

 

Computer Head

Ruby Thursday explaining her organic computer head

(source)

Villain: Ruby Thursday

Purpose: Brilliant scientist/not-entirely-logical villain Ruby Thursday grafted an organic super computer that could assume any form she wanted. That is, only after a surgery in which the newly headless doc probably realized that she couldn’t see the tools necessary to complete the operation. Alas, all that artificial intelligence still didn’t help her realize she looked like she had just hot-glued a Brunswick bowling ball to her neck.

 

Instant Ring Maker

The Ringer on rooftop making flying rings

(source)

Villain: The Ringer

Purpose: The Instant Ring Maker (which sounds like something only advertised during the holidays as a stocking stuffer) let the Ringer create metal circles out of thin air…so long as that air was full of soot or smog. (In other words, in farm country he was screwed.) Then he could use those rings to throw as weapons, to build a ladder, to perhaps make dangling cumbersome earrings, or maybe even earn extra money as a magician at kids’ parties when he realized hurling mini hula hoops do not a successful crime spree make.

 

The Alphabet

The Typeface villain covered in letters

(source)

Villain: Typeface

Purpose: How frightening could letters or a font be? Well, what if those letters were in the shape of a weapon that started with that letter, like a “K” knife or a “W” wiffle bat? And what if the villain Typeface could combine those letters to create any device he wanted, like a game of Scrabble connected to a 3-D printer? And what if while he was trying to remember how to spell “hallucination machine” you just kicked away his letters and slapped him real hard instead?

 

Amplified Insect Noises

Humbug attacking Spiderman with insect sound waves

(source)

Villain: Humbug

Purpose: Combining the headache-inducing power of noise and the general “ew” factor of insects, Humbug emitted a series of sound waves from recording of various bugs chewing, mating, or cursing out someone for putting a microphone so damn close to them. While the weapon was effective it didn’t make Humbug an attractive villain, and soon he was losing out crime story arcs to people who didn’t wake up thinking “I wonder what a dung beetle sounds like screaming.”

 

Kites, Kites, and More Kites

Batman villain Kite-Man flying around

(source)

Villain: Kite-Man

Purpose: Showing what happens when you take a theme too far (and sincerely believe “wind” is advanced technology), Kite-Man not only flew around in a big kite but also tried to confuse his enemies by throwing smaller kites at them. (Like an angry kid who bought in bulk at a drug store toy aisle.) Quite frankly, he would have had better results if he had simply tossed paper planes at his nemeses, each with some choice swear words written inside to show he really meant business.

 

Polka-Dot Suit

Polka-Dot Man explaining his suit to Batman

(source)

Villain: Polka-Dot Man

Purpose: When each dot was removed from the less-than-fashionable or formidable suit it could transform into any round-shaped device necessary for crime, from a flying saucer to a Frisbee sure to result in mild head injuries to perhaps an elegant serving tray for killer or at least criminally undercooked cocktail franks.

 

Rainbow Goggles

Rainbow Raider attacking The Flash with his rainbow goggles

(source)

Villain: Rainbow Raider

Purpose: Frustrated that his own colorblindness prevented him from becoming a great artist or apparently sensible human being, Rainbow Raider used special goggles that emitted a solid rainbow light. This colorful beam could then sap the color from the world, affect people’s moods, help him steal art, and make one wonder if they were being attacked by a Skittles commercial.

SOURCE


Preteen Girl Arrested For Pinching Boy's Butt

Preteen Girl Arrested For Pinching Boy's Butt

'It's just stupid, just a stupid charge'

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A 12-year-old girl in Florida is facing misdemeanor battery charges for—of all things—pinching a boy's butt in between classes, WKMG reports. According to WFTV, Breana Evans and her friends "were just pinching random people" at Milwee Middle School to see their reactions. She says it's a game a lot of students play. But one boy complained, and Breana was suspended for "socially unacceptable" behavior. The boy told a school resource officer he didn't want to press charges; then his mother got involved. She called police, saying she wanted Breana prosecuted for battery, and the girl was placed in a patrol car and hauled off to juvenile detention.

butt_grab_1024x1024[1]

"I feel like it's just stupid, just a stupid charge that shouldn't have to happen," Breana tells WKMG. Her father, Ray Evans, agrees, telling WFTV the charges are "extreme," "crazy," and "not the American way." "Lord lord lordy, what has this world come to?" he tells WKMG. "Kids can't even be a kid. … She's 12 years old, she was acting like a 12-year-old child." Evans says the boy's mother is being "too overprotective," and her son "might get some friends" if she loosened up about things.

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A state's attorney for the county says the charges against Breana will be dropped and her record cleared if she completes a 90-day diversion program of classes and community service and passes drug tests.

Preteen Girl Arrested For Pinching Boy's Butt

 

SOURCE


11 Ridiculous Design Fails That That Make You Wonder 'Why In The Hell Did They Build That?'

11 Ridiculous Design Fails That That Make You Wonder 'Why In The Hell Did They Build That?'

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SOURCE


90’s Porn Without the Sex is Awkward as F*ck

90’s Porn Without the Sex is Awkward as F*ck

90s-porn-thumb-12-768x414[1]

Nothing will get a MILF turned on more than talking about killing the rats leaving feces all over her kitchen.

To this day many people wonder why porn directors even bother writing dialogue to give context to the sex scene. Most people skip through porn videos to get to the good stuff these days, context doesn’t matter when people just want to rub a quick one out. Back in the 90’s it was far worse than today’s beat off material, the acting and directing was terrible. What’s worse is that they often picked up the most awkward situations to shove a sex scene in. The video is question was just one cliche after another but for some odd reason they love to sprinkle the mention of rat feces here and there, in reality that would just kill the mood. Now if you cut out all the sex scenes and you have one cringe worthy piece of cinema.

I want to watch the full porno just to see how the hell they transitioned from sex to doing a f*cking jigsaw puzzle.

90s-porn-thumb-2[1]

Here’s the full porn with every sex scene cut out:

90’s Porn Without the Sex is Awkward as F*ck

SOURCE

 


Oof! You Do Not Want To Be These 15 People

Oof! You Do Not Want To Be These 15 People

Source


Top 10 Celebrity Social Media Blunders

Oops. And there goes your career.

Top 10 Celebrity Social Media Blunders


33 Ink Addicts Who May Regret Their Choices

1These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
2These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
3These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
4These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
5These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
6These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
7These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
8These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
9These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
10These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
11These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
12These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
13These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
14These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
15These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
16These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
17These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
18These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
19These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
20These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
21These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
22These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
23These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
24These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
25These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
26These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
27These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
28These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
29These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
30These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
31These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day
32These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day

#33These Ink Addicts May Regret Their Choice One Day

33 Ink Addicts Who May Regret Their Choices

SOURCE


UPDATE: Fake Teenage Doctor Storms Out During Interview On Good Morning America

The teen posing as a Doctor was offered an interview with GMA to tell his side of the story.

When he couldn’t come up with more lies to cover his ass he just bailed out hoping to save face, it didn’t work.

For those unaware, this 18-year-old named Malachi Love-Robinson opened up an office and posed as a doctor to scam some unfortunate people. After a sting operation by the local police he was quickly arrested. He was released on bail for $21,000 and has been trying to deny all charges ever since. Despite having the initials ‘MD’ on his office sign and website he continues to deny ever claiming to be a medical doctor.

He has tried to spin it as if he is a doctor because he has a PhD, but he won’t disclose what he has a PhD in. He was invited onto the show ‘Good Mourning America’ to try and clear his name, it obviously didn’t work out like he had hoped. After being constantly drilled by the interviewer Malachi was driven into a corner and the only way he could get out was walking away completely. The judge who hears his case is going to eat him up.

SOURCE

Fake Teenage Doctor Storms Out During Interview On Good Morning America


Here Is Kimbo Slice ‘Knocking Out’ Dada 5000 In One Of The Worst MMA Fights Of All-Time

Who would have guessed that two fighters who have barely trained MMA would be involved in one of the worst MMA fights of all-time?

As a long time MMA fan the fight between Dada 5000 and Kimbo was shameful to watch. Bellator, once a respected MMA organization, went for the trainwreck when they hired former Strikeforce head honcho Scott Coker and after tonight I’ve gained a new appreciation for the UFC and Dana White.

Here’s video evidence of how terrible this fight was if you don’t believe me. Both Kimbo and Dada were gassed barely a minute into the fight which eventually ended with Dada keeling over of exhaustion in the third round.

 

 

Here Is Kimbo Slice ‘Knocking Out’ Dada 5000 In One Of The Worst MMA Fights Of All-Time


15 Of The Douchiest Things In Existence

These people and things have redefined "megadouche" in just one picture and we really just hate it.

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vape phone

via  rhubarbbus

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dildo

via  pinterest

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donations

via  stapler

4.

club

via  bitchesbecrazyy

5.

bronze dog

via  Trickish

6.

bus

via  maellu

7.

shirts

via  imguruserboston

8.

shoclker

via  bassplaya746

9.

king douche

via  im4fncked2up0

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chest

via  joeheavyslow

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1

via  thedanald

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outfit

via  cavemancircus

13.

situation

via  PunchOfTheFalcon

14.

tapout

via imgur

15.

douchiest

via imgur

Source

15 Of The Douchiest Things In Existence


28 HILARIOUS CELEBRITY SEX QUOTES

Since some people worship celebrities and have shrines to them (not saying I do...), people usually listen up when the rich and famous have something to say, especially about sex. And since it's gross to have to listen to Dr. Phil talk about sex, we thought we would show you some of the most hilarious celebrity sex quotes instead.

Megan Fox
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Amy Schumer
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Eva Longoria
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Louis C.K.
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Chris Rock
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Groucho Marx
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Tina Fey
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Bill Maher
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Toni Braxton
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Casey Stengel
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Mignon McLaughlin
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Amy Poehler
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Chelsea Handler
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

John Updike
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Jacki Weaver
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Sacha Baron Cohen
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Emo Philips
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

James Caan
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Mel Brooks
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Russell Brand
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Angelina Jolie
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Lily Tomlin
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

John Waters
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Rodney Dangerfield
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Matt Groening
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Joan Rivers
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Chuck Klosterman
Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

Hilarious Celebrity Sex Quotes

28 HILARIOUS CELEBRITY SEX QUOTES

SOURCE


The Most Frustratingly Stupid Family Feud Contestant EVER!

Steve doesn’t really have room to talk when it comes to giving the wrong answer.

Even by the end I don’t think this woman understood what was so funny. She was just so dead set on giving the same answer over and over despite being told to say something else.

Steve Harvey just had enough of her shit, he just wanted to move along.

Watch the whole frustrating video below:

SOURCE

The Most Frustratingly Stupid Family Feud Contestant EVER!


Man Steals Police Car, Hides In Big Pile Of Garbage

A Pennsylvania man was arrested after allegedly shoplifting and stealing a police car on Monday.

According to police in York, on Monday afternoon Marlo Harvard, Jr. stole a bunch of crap from Wal-Mart. As he left the store, he was spotted by a police. One officer jumped out of his car and chased him on foot, giving Harvard an opportunity to run back around and steal the police car.

The 21-year-old drove a few blocks then abandoned the car near a restaurant and hid inside a giant garbage bin behind it. When police eventually caught up with him, he claimed he was innocent. “I hang out in dumpsters all the time,” he said. Which is fair. Who doesn’t?

The trash bandit was arrested and will presumably be taken to trash jail.

 

SOURCE

 

 

Man Steals Police Car, Hides In Big Pile Of Garbage


10 Common Things People Believed Were Invented By The Devil

The Devil has been accused of creating many things, including rock and roll, Harry Potter, Dungeons and Dragons, and list-based Internet infotainment. But you might be surprised by the things around you that have been seriously accused of being the diabolical work of Satan.

10 Forks


Although the ancient Greeks used a fork-like utensil when carving meat, it wasn’t until the seventh century when it appeared in the Middle East as an eating utensil. When the doge of Venice married a Byzantine princess in the 11th century, her use of golden forks to eat was met with fearful suspicion by the Italian population. Utensil history book Feeding Desire says, “Food was a gift from God, and to use an artificial means of conveying it to the mouth implied that this heavenly gift was unfit to be touched by human hands.” When she died of the plague, many thought it was God’s punishment.

There was a great deal of suspicion around the resemblance of the fork to the Devil’s pitchfork, which was probably borrowed from portrayals of Greek and Roman gods. It would be a few centuries until the fork was accepted in Europe, and even then, it was considered suspicious or effeminate by many for a long time. England’s first fork enthusiast, Thomas Coryat, was mocked for his praise for the fork, which he saw as more sanitary. He was dubbed “Furcifer,” a Latin neologism that means “fork-bearer” and sounds suspiciously similar to “Lucifer.”

9 Musical Instruments

Flute Statue
There is a common belief within Islamic tradition that musical instruments were invented by Satan because he was jealous of the singing voice of Da’ud, or the biblical David. Within the same tradition, it’s alternatively stated that Tubal, a descendant of Cain, invented the lute, tambourine, and flute. A Syrian tradition holds that the instruments were invented by the daughters of Cain to celebrate the death of Abel. While other Muslims claim that there are no outright prohibitions of music in the Quran or hadiths and that it can be performed for the glory of God, ultraconservative interpretations hold all music to be haram.

In some schools of Islam, music is believed to cause ulcers, diabetes, and madness while retarding spiritual and ethical progress. Umayyad caliph Umar ibn Abdul-Azeez once wrote, “Let your first lesson for them be the hatred of musical instruments that come from Satan and end with the wrath of Allah; for it reached me from trustworthy sources that attending a place where music and its instruments are played grows hypocrisy in the heart as water makes plants grow.”

There is also a tradition within Christianity that depicts Satan as a musician, based on passages from the book of Ezekiel stating that Satan was the cherub in charge of music in Heaven before the Fall, and he retains those skills, exerting a dangerous influence over the musical world today. Ezekiel 28:13 says of Satan, “The workmanship of thy tabrets and of thy pipes was prepared in thee in the day that thou wast created.” This suggests that power of percussion and pipe instruments was woven into Satan’s very being. That said, this interpretation is somewhat speculative, as there are few other references in the Bible to musical instruments in Heaven, and it is unclear what Satan’s duties were before the Fall.

8 Socialism

Socialism
While there is a venerable tradition of Christian socialism, and some see left-wing ideology as a reflection of the teachings of Jesus, some right-wing Christians believe that socialism has its roots in the machinations of Satan. According to the hard-right website Canada Free Press, the foundations of socialism lie in the heresy of Joachim of Flora, which claimed that history was divided into the ages of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Just as Joachim believed that the church would wither away to create a spiritual utopia, so did Marx believe that the state would wither away and lead to a material utopia.

Proponents of socialism being the work of the Devil highlight the rejection of God in the writings of anarchists like Bakunin and Proudhon, as well as the anti-God poetry of a young Karl Marx. Bakunin wrote, “In this revolution we will have toawaken the Devil in the people, to stir up the basest passions. Our mission is to destroy, not to edify. The passion of destruction is a creative passion.”

Proudhon, meanwhile, was more direct:

Come, Satan, come, thou the calumniated of priests and of kings! Let me embrace thee, let me press thee to my bosom! Long is it that I have known thee, and long hast thou known me! Thy works, O blessed one of my heart! not always are they beautiful and good; but they alone give a meaning to the universe, and save it from absurdity. What would man be without thee? A beast.

It’s further argued that leftist ideology represents a rejection of the Ten Commandments. Communist states reject God and create false idols in the form of personality cults. Historically, they’ve dismissed holy days, encouraged children to report their parents to the authorities for political sedition, murdered millions in gulags, and built their entire economic systems on theft and slavery.

The Providence Foundation claims that Satan invented socialism in an attempt to seize control of the Earth. Control of the Earth had been inherited by Adam but then stolen by Satan until Jesus came and returned control of the Earth to mankind. Satan plots to use the state to take back control of the Earth through welfare states, thus putting all of mankind into bondage and delaying the establishment of God’s Kingdom.

7 Smoking

Smoking
The Spaniards were initially alarmed and confused by tobacco. Columbus was unimpressed when he was given it as a gift by natives, later complaining that for some of his men, “It was not within their power to refrain from indulging in the habit.” The first Spaniard to actually see natives smoking were reportedly interpreter Luis de Torres and seaman Rodrigo de Jerez, who soon took up the habit himself. In 1498, Jerez took six crates of tobacco leaves back to Barcelona, but his habit of breathing smoke alarmed the locals, who suspected the Devil was at work. Jerez was then arrested by the Inquisition and spent the next several years in prison.

King James I considered tobacco an invention of the Devil, writing a screed called “A Counterblaste to Tobacco,” calling it a disgusting habit of godless savages and worse—of Frenchmen and Spaniards. Smoking was considered a deadly sin in Russia and the Middle East, and Pope Clement VIII threatened anyone smoking in a holy place with excommunication.

6 The Telephone


Writer Ambrose Bierce once defined the telephone as “an invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.” He was being satirical, but when the telephone was invented, there were many who viewed it with suspicion and suspected a diabolical origin. When the telephone was first introduced in Sweden, many rural folks feared it was magical and that telephone wires would attract lightning or evil spirits. Preachers outright decried the telephone as an instrument of the Devil, and lines were oftenpulled down or sabotaged by irate farmers.

The Amish and Old Order Mennonites of Pennsylvania had a similar view. Their societies were informed by gelassenheit, a sense of belonging and separation from the outside world driven by dress, language, tradition, nonverbal communication, and a moral code. New forms of communication were perceived as a threat to face-to-face communication, which enforced the social order. One Mennonite reported an elder gravely warning, “There goes the devil’s wires.”

Ethiopian journalist Paulos Gno Gno wrote about the introduction of the telephone at the court of the Emperor Menelik:

The first telephone was installed in Menelik’s palace in 1889 and the news of the displeasure among many clergymen who resented the new technology finally reached the Emperor’s ears. Eight representatives of the clergy approached the throne of Menelik and appealed to the Emperor that the telephone in the palace was in fact the work of SeyTan—the Devil and that it should be removed from the palace and destroyed in public.

Menelik then informed the delegates that their concern was “legitimate” and he will get back to them the next day. Subsequently, he called up his nobility and the Patriarch and bitterly complained that the clergy is interfering in his vision of growth for his country by claiming that the telephone technology is the work of the Devil. He went [on] to say that the priests are bent on sabotaging his work and are—in the process—forcing him to even consider abandoning the Orthodox faith just to distance himself from the backward clergy. Upon hearing such a shocking declaration from the Emperor, the nobility and the Patriarch rushed to assure the Emperor that they will calm down the priests and begged him to stay with the Orthodox faith.

5 Dice

Dice
It is perhaps not particularly surprising that gambling was decried as a great sin in the Middle Ages. It was seen as encouraging blasphemy and idolatry, and some gamblers were said to substitute the name of Decius, the god of dice, in place of God in prayers. According to writer Bernadette Paton, the Sienese friars believed that dicing was a form of satanic worship and that gamblers would “obey the will of the dice above that of God.”

John Mirk, a 14th-century English prior, concurred, saying, “What shall we say of the priest who, while flinging the dice upon the gambling table, at the same time flings his soul to the Devil! He makes of the gaming table an altar for himself, upon which he offers up the goods of the Church to the Devil and the goods of others too. With false oaths and other crafts of deception he toils to win profit.”

Dominican preacher Gabriel de Barletta said, “Just as God invented the twenty-one letters of the alphabet, so the Devil invented the dice, on which he placed twenty-one points.” A 14th-century French poem entitled “Du Jeu de Dez” claimed that the Devil convinced a Roman senator to invent dice. Dice symbolized the Fall, and each pip on the dice represented spite for a certain holy element—one for God, two for God and the Virgin Mary, three for the Trinity, four for evangelists, five for the wounds of Christ, and six for the six days of Creation.

4 The Smurfs

During the 1980s, rumors spread among the Jehovah’s Witnesses that the Smurfs were satanic. In 2008, one person claiming to be a former Jehovah’s Witness posted on Yahoo! Answers about hearing rumors of Smurf dolls making foul-mouthed remarks and coming to life to bite children. Others claiming to be ex-Witnesses also mentioned the same rumors on a Reddit comment thread, along with another unfounded rumor that the word “Smurf” meant “demon” in German.

In 2011, televangelist Dorothy Spaulding was asked a question about whether theMy Little Pony cartoon was satanic, to which she answered, “I kinda think it is, but I’m not sure.” She then proceeded to rant about the Smurfs and their propensity toward Satanic pentagrams. She also mentioned a child who had trouble sleeping until their family took all the Smurf-related sheets, covers, and curtains out of their room and burned them and then anointed the room with holy oils and asked the angels to clear it out.

One creation science website argues that Papa Smurf represents Karl Marx (complete with a communist red suit) and that the Smurfs’ closed market economy resembles that of some communist societies. The red suit also signifies Papa Smurf as the Grand Dragon of the Smurfy Ku Klux Klan, complete with a pointy white headdress. The site also seems to believe that the Smurfs worship Gargamel, who is clearly deeply involved with the occult.

3 The Cross

Cross
Adherents of the Church of the Great God believe that the symbol of the Cross is not Christian at all but rather a trick of the Devil derived from old pagan traditions. The symbol for the Babylonian nature god Tammuz was said to be a Babylonian letter “T,” which resembled a cross. They claim that the cross was not publicly used to symbolize Christianity until the time of Emperor Constantine, implying that the vision he allegedly saw on the battlefield came from Satan, not God.

The adherents claim that the Romans had two methods of crucifixion. One involved the stake with a crossbar that we are most familiar with. The other involved tying prisoners to a stake and thrashing them with iron-tipped strips of leather until their flesh was stripped or their entrails visible. They were then forced to drag the stake to a place of execution to be fastened or impaled upon it. They say that the Bible does not clearly state which form of crucifixion Jesus suffered, and besides, why should a method of execution become a religious symbol anyway? The Cross was clearly popularized by Satan to fool the world into worshiping a false symbol.

2 Soccer

Soccer
According to Nigerian evangelist Evang Fumilayo Adebayo, the game alternatively known as “soccer” or “football” was invented as a form of idolatry by the Devil himself. After mankind sought to reach Heaven by building the Tower of Babel, God confused their languages and scattered them to the winds, or so the Scriptures say. Soccer is a game that unites classes, nations, and religions, with people idolizing their favorite players and teams. This, she argues, is part of an agenda to create a one-world government and the rise of the Antichrist.

She claims that there is a spirit or god of soccer, to which there is a temple dedicated in Brazil, and that this spirit is Satan. The spirit is said to bring prosperity and success, but it has a dark secret. She says, “You love football because you have been possessed by the demon of football. Almost everybody in the world had been possessed by this demon—only a few are left out. Many were possessed from the womb or as infants.”

Soccer fandom is a form of idolatry that encourages immoral behavior and distracts people from the worship of God. It also encourages other sins, such as foul language, violence, anger, gambling, drunkenness, sorcery, animal sacrifice, and homosexuality. She refers to the testimony of Ghanaian teenager Emmanuel Agyarko, who claimed to have had a vision of football fans and national football teams using charms, oils, and occult rings while being led by bizarre demons through a tunnel leading to eternal Hellfire.

1 Theater

Theater
In 1632, a Puritan named William Prynne wrote Histriomastix: The Player’s Scourge, arguing that the theater was a sinful invention of the Devil. He was particularly incensed by the waste of quality printing paper for plays rather than for Christian works: “Some Play-books since I first undertook this subject, are growne from Quarto into Folio; which yet beare so good a price and sale, that I cannot but with griefe relate it, they are now new printed in farre better paper than most Octavo or Quarto Bibles. Shackspeer’s Plaies are printed in the best Crowne paper far better than most Bibles.”

Actors and playwrights were “whore-masters, ruffians, drunkards, and godless” and were obviously engaged in acts of Devil worship. He took a step too far when he referred to actresses as “whores”; King Charles I’s wife, Queen Henrietta Maria, had recently performed in a pastoral masque play. According to a handwritten note found in a copy of Histriomastix, “For writing this book, Prynne was sentenced by the Star Chamber to pay a fine of £5,000, to be disbarred & to lose his ears in the pillory.”

In 1910, Pastor Isaac M. Haldeman posted an advertisement in The New York Times claiming that theater was an invention of Satan and boasting he had never seen a play in his life. He said, “They are out of my life along with dancing and card playing. All of them are worldly and do harm.” This made sense, given his worldview; he also feared the ungodly influence of a local subway stop and declared that women’s suffrage would lead to the area being “flooded with unintelligence, superstition, and lawlessness, under the direction of alien forces.”

SOURCE

 

 

10 Common Things People Believed Were Invented By The Devil


16 Awkward Times Walmart Didn't Give A Single F**k

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16 Awkward Times Walmart Didn't Give A Single F**k


15 Super Bowl Commercials We Wished Never Aired

15 Super Bowl Commercials We Wished Never Aired

Give America a huge event to celebrate and America will give you… advertising. That’s right, in the land of “Giant” President’s Day sales and “Crazy” Veteran’s Day blowouts, there’s no way a little something called the Super Bowl could exist for long without making commercials an integral part of the experience.

We’re at the point now where we often anticipate the ads just as much as the game itself. In fact, forget the game – we even run betting pools on who will show the first ad or how much an ad cost. Considering that the big game itself has historically been a blowout, perhaps it’s no wonder that the commercials have taken on such importance. Or maybe it’s just more fun to watch a bunch of beer-swilling clowns, talking animals, forgotten celebrities and Danica Patrick shill product than it is to see actual football.

Whatever the reasons, everybody remembers the best Superbowl commercials. But do you remember the worst? TheRichest has got 15 of them below that will make you wince, scratch your head (What were they thinking?”) and maybe even throw up in your mouth a little bit.

15. Chevy – “Apocalypse”

OK, the inclusion of Twinkies in this one almost makes it a “so bad it’s good” kind of ad. But… When will these companies learn no one wants to hear about death, disease and destruction during the Super Bowl? It’s a party, not the Book of Revelations! Sorry, Chevy, this one was just a little bit too intense for its own good. Especially the rain of frogs landing on the truck hoods at the end – gross!

14. Holiday Inn – “Bob Johnson”

So, Holiday Inn, you wanted to show how current and hip you had become. You wanted to push your brand in an edgy new direction and get the terminally hip back into your hotel rooms. What better way to do that than to have the character of “Bob Johnson” wade right into this cross-dressing/transgendered spot? What was going on in the minds of HGI execs? ‘Cause whoever thought America was ready for this one was just a little bit mistaken. In fact, almost 20 years later, America probably still isn’t ready for this one.

13. Groupon – “Tibet”

First of all, just because Timothy Hutton was in the midst of a mini career renaissance (trust us, Leverage was better than anything he did in the years preceding it), doesn’t mean he’s a guy you necessarily trust to sell you stuff. Especially when he’s trying to sell you on the fish curry in Tibet. As uninspiring as Hutton may have been, the real kicker was Groupon’s attempt to “curry” favor by parodying various relief-organizations’ commercials. We were not amused.

12. Dirt Devil – “Fred Astaire”

In a world where Natalie Cole became more famous for dueting with her long dead father than she ever did for her own singing career, perhaps it’s no surprise that Dirt Devil would get into the nostalgia game with this creepy spot. Featuring footage of Fred Astaire dancing with, yep, you guessed it, a Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner, the ad made everyone feel just a little uncomfortable about the whole premise. Add in the fact that a long-dead Fred Astaire with a freakin’ machine for a partner was still a way better dancer than we will ever be and this spot was an instant fail.

11. SoBe – “Football & Lizards”

If you want your brain to hurt, this is the Super Bowl commercial to watch. Warning: it can’t be un-watched. We don’t know what the hell SoBe is trying to say about their product here and, honestly, after watching this ad, we don’t care. We just want to sit quietly in a very dark room for a very long time. Make it stop, SoBe, please make it stop.

10. Sales Genie – “Pandas”

If you don’t cringe at this one you must have been born in the 19th century. Just like the people who made this ad, apparently. What better way to show how awesome your company is than to show a bunch of animated “Chinese” pandas running a bamboo store. Then give them the most repulsively stereotypical accents ever. Don’t forget to have them call their bamboo store “Ling Ling’s.” After that, all you’ll have to do is sit back and listen to the complaints roll in. Idiots.

9. Go Daddy – “All of Them”

Alright, alright, Go Daddy, we get it. Danica Patrick is hot. And sex sells. But maybe just maybe you should have tried creating a storyline for any of your hundreds of Super Bowl commercials over the years. Just one is all we ask for. No, you say? OK, OK, we get it. You’re right. Sex sells. But what – we’re still asking after all these years – are you selling, Godaddy? Maybe let us know someday. In a memo, though, not a commercial.

8. Budweiser “Clown”

You knew that, sooner or later, one of the big beer companies would make this list. It’s just a fact – beer ads and the Super Bowl probably have the most symbiotic relationship in all of nature. One simply cannot exist without the other. So why, you ask, this particular Bud spot? Well, because, if you’re going to spend millions of dollars on a stupid beer commercial, make sure you feature an annoying clown drinking Bud from where the sun don’t shine. Everyone loves clowns and beer, right? Not.

7. Lifeminder.com – “Bad Ad”

http://images.complex.com/complex/image/upload/t_article_image/sqsoauhdy6fbjije4knn.jpg

via images.complex.com

Have you ever heard of Lifeminders.com? No? Not even after their historically bad Super Bowl commercial? Good. You’re lucky. Unfortunately now you have heard of them and you’ll probably be unable to resist watching that ad on Youtube. Have fun. It’s not like it’s the most irritating or offensive ad to ever run during the Big Game. But it is 30 seconds of your life you’ll never get back. You’ll be 30 seconds closer to death after seeing it and what will you have to show for it? Nothing. You’re welcome.

6. GM – “Robot”

http://1.images.spike.com/images/import/stills/films/resize/istd/2819657.jpg?quality=0.91

via images.spike.com

If you thought the lifeminders.com ad was depressing (if for no other reason than what a waste of your time it was) then you’ll really enjoy this one. You see, most Super Bowl commercials, even the ones that fail, tend to be big, splashy, vibrant affairs. They celebrate life and, by extension, buying stuff to enjoy life. Not so with this GM spot. When you’re knee-deep in nachos and cheap beer, who wants to see a suicidal robot lose its job. The answer? Nobody. Thanks for ruining our buzz, GM.

5. Apple – “Lemmings”

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1595504/images/o-APPLE-facebook.jpg

via huffpost.com

Apple struck it big with their “1984” commercial. It’s no exaggeration to say that was the ad that put Apple on the map and also ushered in a new age of advertising where the concept behind the product mattered as much as the product itself. The ad will forever be considered a gold standard of the industry. But how about this follow-up commercial in 1985? Well, it’s not quite as bad as some of the others on this list. At least it’s got that going for it. But images of mass-death are never going to be a big seller on Super Bowl Sunday. Go figure.

4. H & M – “David Beckham”

It’s not that we don’t believe for a second that there isn’t a significant portion of the population that doesn’t want to seeBecks naked. However, this commercial is so boring, so uninspired, so, yes, stupid, that it deserves a spot on this list. For this they spent all of that money to get a Super Bowl spot? What a waste of Beckham’s “talents” if nothing else.

3. Tax Act – “Peeing”

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/EeaT0iN4oNE/maxresdefault.jpg

via i.ytimg.com

Yeah, we get it – free is good. Except, you know… when it’s not. And this one is definitely not good. No one wants to see potty humor (literally) during a party. At least they didn’t decide to set the commercial in a public pool. That would have been too, too much. It’s too much as it is already. Let the kid’s own family deal with this problem – leave the rest of us out of it.

2. Outpost.com – “Gerbils”

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/yANXF8MYrOA/hqdefault.jpg

via i.ytimg.com

Yeah, we’ll remember your name alright, Outpost.com, you dirty gerbil-killing animals! Seriously, though, it’s the ad execs that came up with this spot who should be fired from a cannon. Of course we know that they didn’t really shoot those gerbils out of that cannon. But maybe, just maybe they should have thought about how wrong this ad would look once it was done. So very, very wrong.

1. Ameriquest – “Bumpy Flight”

http://specials-images.forbesimg.com/imageserve/4e6a196548fd54130857da2c9077e6eb/0x600.jpg?fit=scale&background=000000

via forbesimg.com

This one must have seemed hilarious during late-night brainstorming sessions by the advertising geeks. After all, what’s not to like? It’s got slapstick (sort-of). It’s got mistaken identities (sort-of). It’s got awkward situations (that’s right- “sort-of”). It’s even got S-E-X. Unfortunately, what it doesn’t have is funny. Apparently funny was too heavy to bring on-board as a carry-on. Maybe Ameriquest should have checked this commercial at the gate as well.

 

 

SOURCE

 

15 Super Bowl Commercials We Wished Never Aired


How To Waste $1.5M In Under 3 Minutes

Have $1.5M? Here's how to waste that money in under 3 minutes.

 

How To Waste $1.5M In Under 3 Minutes


23 Parking Jobs So Bad They Should Result in Jail Time

I understand being busy, I really do. Still, one of the ways you shave time out of your day should not be by parking like a jackass. It’s not enough we have to deal with the depths of the human soul on the road, can we please leave our cars with a little dignity? Here are the parking jobs that have infuriated me more than any other transgression previously perpetrated against me:

parked in the cart area
(source)

too much gas, bud
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cop car in handicapped spot
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not even close to being in the spot
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diagonally in a non-spot
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taking up two spots
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taking up as many spots as possible
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like, you’re not even trying
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buddy there is no room
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parked on stone sphere
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parked in helipad
(source)

not a compact, in two spots
(source)

helpful reminder of where the parking lines are
(source)

people were not fans of this mercedes benz
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two people working together to park horribly
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what even is happening
(source)

yeah sure, that goes there
(source)

through the building
(source)

not right at all
(source)

bad parking jobs van
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bad parking jobs finish line
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bad parking jobs middle of the street
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SOURCE

23 Parking Jobs So Bad They Should Result in Jail Time


12 Ridiculous Superheroes We Hope Never See The Big Screen

 

12 Ridiculous Superheroes We Hope Never See The Big Screen

It seems these days you can’t go into a theatre or watch TV without seeing an ad for the next superhero movie. They have slowly been taking over cinemas since Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk dropped in 2008, and now boast well over $1 billion in revenue worldwide. Doesn’t matter if it’s Marvel or DC, audiences all over are eating this stuff up. Sure, Steven Spielberg may think that superhero movies are going out of style soon, but that’s not stopping announcements for flicks coming out all the way until 2020.

So far the line up I’ve seen looks pretty promising. However, with all the hype around superheros doing their thing on screen, it would have been easy for Hollywood to test out a few heroes that never quite made it to the spotlight – or at least not for very long. Thankfully, the lesser known heroes they have chosen are worth watching for at least an hour and a half, unlike every hero on this list. Straight up, if any of these made it to camera, we would never get another superhero movie for the rest of our days.

Here are 12 Ridiculous Superheroes We Hope Never See The Big Screen.

12. NFL Superpro

comicbook.com

via comicbook.com

NFL Superpro was a short-lived comic in the early 90’s, running only 12 issues – and it’s no surprise why. Phil Grayfield was once an all-star football pro, who had to give up his career after severely injuring his knee saving a child. He then became a sports reporter, and in the middle of an interview with a mad scientist/football fan, they are attacked by thieves, and in the chaos, Superpro is somehow merged with the suit? I think? From then, he just goes around beating up bad guys in a cool suit. To make matters better, this character was only made after the creator was promised Jets tickets.

11. Arm Fall Off Boy

 comicsbeat.com

via comicsbeat.com

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! Nope, just some dude’s arm. Not only is this guy’s name stupid on multiple levels, but his power is equally as stupid. He can remove his limbs and use them as blunt weapons. There isn’t even an official origin to how he got his powers. Like, what the hell does he expect to get done? If he’s up against thugs and purse snatchers, yeah, you might be able to do something. But against any one of the super villains inhabiting the DC universe, he would be reduced to goo in no time.

10. Fruit Boy

comicvine.com

via comicvine.com

Yes, that is his real name. Or at least his alter ego’s. No, his power is not sipping Appletini’s, gossiping with you and your girlfriends with sassy zingers. No, his power is the ability to speed up the growth of fruits, as well as being able to make them rot faster. Oh man. Look out for Fruit Boy! Get all your delicious good in the crisper, Fruit Man is coming! His power was so useless he was rejected from the Legion of Superheroes – a Legion known for housing some real stinkers in terms of super powers.

9. Whizzer

phantombunburyist.freedomforceforever.com

via phantombunburyist.freedomforceforever.com

Contrary to his name, his power is not super powered urine. In fact, Robert Frank gained his only ability of super speed after being bit by a cobra in Africa and having his blood transfused with a mongoose. He lives a life plagued with misfortune. He had several heart attacks, dealt with alcoholism and depression for years, as well as spending some time living on the streets. He eventually came out of retirement, only to be fooled into fighting the Avengers, as well as believing that Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver are his children. Something he believed right up until he died – of a third heart attack.

8. Ulysses Solomon Archer (US 1)

neuroticmonkey.com

via neuroticmonkey.com

After his skull was nearly crushed in an accident (caused unknowingly to him by his brother), US 1 was fixed up with a metal plate in his skull that allowed him to pick up CB transmissions. Which is only really handy if you happen to be a truck driver, which thankfully, US 1 totally is! So he goes out in his big rig to find the ones that killed his brother. I could see this being a really slick revenge movie, but the superpower would have little to nothing to do with it. I mean, if you are in a truck with a CB radio, the only advantage your power would have is tuning into the frequencies your radio isn’t tuned into.

7. Aqualad

tempestspurplereign.com

via tempestspurplereign.com

We all know how much flak Aquaman gets for his subpar powers. But at least his can control the creatures of the deep. Aqualad? Not so much. He could swim fast, breathe underwater and withstand intense underwater pressures. This guy was so useless, they had to update him in the late 90’s, giving him real powers that could do some good. Even then, we are better off getting an Aquaman movie – and we are. Thankfully they gave him a new name too, because anything with “Lad” in the title is immediately laughable.

6. Doorman

writeups.org

via writeups.org

Ever since I was a wee baby, I’ve dreamed about teleportation. It’d be so much easier to get anything done. Unless of course you have the kind of teleportation powers as Doorman. He can teleport you to any adjacent room. Yeah, right? He can only open up pathways to another side of a wall. He sacrificed himself in the fight against Maelstrom, thus earning him a better station in the afterlife, essentially becoming the angel of death for the realm of Oblivion. I’d rather that than helping people get to the bathroom quicker.

5. Matter Eater Lad

craveonline.com

via craveonline.com

Another victim of having Lad in his name, which also seems to be a symptom of stupid powers. This guy is from the planet Bismoll, a place where everything on it is inedible. So how do the inhabitants get their nourishment? Why, by developing an incredible stomach acid capable of breaking down literally anything, of course. That may be helpful to survive on his home planet; here on Earth, it’s a little more useless. Not only do we not need to eat buildings and asphalt to get by, but if those things were in our way, we have much better means of getting around it.

4. Cypher

marvel.com

via marvel.com

This guy was a member of the X-Men who joined the team in the 80’s with the introduction of the New Mutants story arc. Frankly, he doesn’t have the worst power on this list, it’s just not one that would translate well to be a lead character in a movie. See, he can understand every language. Ever. Which is awesomely handy as a human, being able to go anywhere on the planet and have a conversation with someone, no issues. However, if an alien race came to the Earth, Cypher would be good for about the first 10 minutes of negotiations before they opened fire.

3. The Red Bee

anthillcomics.com

via anthillcomics.com

Utilizing bees as a weapon against the evil of Nazi’s and gangsters sounds like a great idea on paper. Once applied though, it’s pretty ridiculous. Now, I’m talking about the original Red Bee here, Richard Raleigh. Because the new Red Bee is actually kind of cool, despite being a discount Iron Man costume with some robot bees to assist. But the original just ran around with his Stinger gun and his special bee ‘Michael’ that he would save for dire situations. Considering bees only live for about 2 months, I wonder how many Michael’s he went through.

2. Skateman

thatfilmthing.com

via thatfilmthing.com

You know a comic is bad when it doesn’t even get a year-long run. And you know it’s really bad when it ends after one issue. Skateman was about a young man named Billy Moon, a Vietnam vet and martial arts enthusiast who discovered a love for roller derby… yeah. After the murder of his friend, he is inspired by comic book heroes to become a half-assed hero himself. So he puts on his roller skates, wraps a bandana around his face and heads out to do the typical hero thing. Sorry guys, but if I wanted to watch a regular human beat up other regular humans, I’d go watch the UFC.

1. Hindsight Lad

superworldcomics.com

via superworldcomics.com

Ever seen the South Park episode with Captain Hindsight? Well, he’s not the first to claim the power of hindsight. No super strength, no superior intellect, no incredible power of flight. Nope, just the ability to see stuff go down, and then tell you how you could have done a better job. I think what really started this guy on the wrong foot was putting “Lad” in his name. Add in the fact he only got to his position by blackmailing another hero after finding out their true identity, and you’ve got a crappy, non-hero that we will all be better off not seeing translated to the big screen.

SOURCE

12 Ridiculous Superheroes We Hope Never See The Big Screen


14 People Who Take Being Stupid To A Whole New Level

#1These People Take Dumb to the Next Level
2These People Take Dumb to the Next Level
3These People Take Dumb to the Next Level
4These People Take Dumb to the Next Level
These People Take Dumb to the Next Level5
6These People Take Dumb to the Next Level
7These People Take Dumb to the Next Level
8These People Take Dumb to the Next Level
9These People Take Dumb to the Next Level
10These People Take Dumb to the Next Level
11These People Take Dumb to the Next Level
12These People Take Dumb to the Next Level
13These People Take Dumb to the Next Level
14These People Take Dumb to the Next Level

Source

14 People Who Take Being Stupid To A Whole New Level


18 Of The Best "Worst Things For Sale" On Amazon

"The Worst Things For Sale" is a blog that catalogs, well, the worst things for sale on Amazon. It's very funny, and also very accurate — these are some of the worst things for sale. Ever. Way beyond gifts that you didn't want, or that look like garbage, this blog collects some truly depressing junk. That's why I've highlighted some of my favorite examples found by the blog's author, Drew Fairweather. Hey, I'm a grim person! You can also read an interview with the author on Vice.

 

A Trash Bag For Your Tire

tire trash bag
(source)

"It bolts onto your truck's tire, in an apparent attempt to create the least practical way to hold a trash bag in a world full of cans, baskets, and buckets."

 

The Pee-On Urinal Picture

urinal screen picture
(source)

"'Great for bosses,' lies the box of the Pee-On Urinal Picture Kit."

 

Baby Gender Predictor

urinal screen picture
(source)

"While predicting a baby's gender with a spit test before birth currently doesn't work at the time of this writing, you can't blame manufacturers for selling widgets that claim to do it."

 

Duct Tape Scent

orange cream duct tape
(source)

"The least objectionable one is probably the Orange Cream flavor, above, but there's also a Grape (yuck), Bubble Gum (barf), and a Cupcake (?!?!) version in case your stomach's not turning yet."

 

Depression Cheese For Two

fondue mugs
(source)

"It comes as a set of two, but let's face it: this just lets you have fondue by yourself twice before washing the dishes."

 

Tactical Christmas Stocking

fondue mugs
(source)

"For the person in your life who can't enjoy a holiday without somehow connecting it to guns and warfare…"

 

The Selfie Toaster

selfie toaster
(source)

"At last, humanity has created the pinnacle of scientific achievement."

 

Dog Collar Bottle Opener

dog collar bottle opener
(source)

"What kind of world would you live in where you need to open bottles, but can't, because you're not at home, and not in a bar, and you don't have your keychain, but your dog is with you?"

 

The Man Bowl

good christ
(source)

"If you have a sex thing where you want someone to treat you bad, that's one thing. But quietly assenting to eat meals out of a big dog-bowl labeled MAN is a special level of depressing."

 

Be The Ayy To My Lmao

ayy lmao
(source)

"How about I be the no to your t-shirt?"

 

Tetris: The Board Game

ayy lmao
(source)

"In an apparent attempt to answer the question 'what could possibly ruin the best and most popular video game of all time?' the board-game of Tetris Link has been created."

 

Vegan Jerky

vegan jerky
(source)

"Jerky is the worst thing you could do to meat. So it stands to bear that the soybean, a legume which could be turned into tofu, miso, soy milk, edamame, soy sauce, or any number of wonderful foods, would be turned into horrible turd in an attempt to ‘jerky' it."

 

The USA Burger

vegan jerky
(source)

"What could be more American than a hamburger? A hamburger pressed into the shape of the USA, using a plastic mold which was made in China."

 

The Titty Pillow

vegan jerky
(source)

"'On the pillow we purchased the Boobs are touching,' writes a reviewer of this titty-pillow, for whom titty-geometry seems a matter of importance."

 

Hyperlip

hyperlip
(source)

"The Hyperlip is a plastic ring you wedge in your mouth to keep your mouth hanging open. Why? The manufacturer doesn't explain, but notes it's a ‘great conversation starter.'"

 

wine stakes

hyperlip
(source)

"We've already solved the problem of ‘where do I put my wine outside?' It's called an outside table. Not a set of stakes you hammer into the ground and balance your wineglass on."

 

Mac ‘N Cheese Button

mac n cheese button
(source)

"If you're thinking you've gotta wash your automatic dinner down with water, nope – there's a button for Gatorade too. It's got what plants– I mean people– crave."

SOURCE

 

 

18 Of The Best "Worst Things for Sale" on Amazon