The Red Shamrock: Television’s Reuse Loop And Bad Ideas Plus Week Three NFL Picks

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The Red Shamrock: Television’s Reuse Loop And Bad Ideas Plus Week Three NFL Picks

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Has network television found the end of creativity? Seriously. I think we have reached the end of the long train of original ideas as far as network television and Hollywood are concerned. How can I support this thought? MacGyver is coming back to network television. Yes, that MacGyver. I’m a child of the 80’s and early 90’s, so I actually remember Richard Dean Anderson as MacGyver (Angus MacGyver, with his first name not revealed until the series finale). The show was on for seven seasons. Personally, I feel most good to great television series have a shelf life of around five to six years (there are obvious acceptations to the rule).

CBS has taken upon itself to reboot the show. Only this time, Havoc from X-Men: First Class is playing a younger, hipper version of the character. Have a look for yourself:

 

That’s a total True Lies/James Bond rip off in the beginning scene there. Then they throw in some Tom Cruise from the last Mission Impossible film. Jack Dalton is now Bradley Cooper from American Sniper (played by George Eads). FYI, Dalton only showed up to fly a plane and cowardly help MacGyver out from time to time. They have also added a computer hacker (original MacGyver never needed one) and a best friend/roommate. In the past, we never learned this much about MacGyver’s personal life. That was part of the charm of the original series. The mystery behind this freaking jock savant who saved the world. Plus his boss is now female…wait a minute, Sandrine Holt, welcome to network television.

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 Do you really wonder if The Red Shamrock is going to give this show a go now?

It also seems like network television can’t stop bringing back past successful sitcom stars. ABC did it with Tim Allen and NBC did it with Michael J. Fox as Zorro:

Wait, the Zorro thing didn’t really happen. But they did bring him back for 22 episodes of The Michael J. Fox Show. 22 episodes for a guy who peaked in 1989. CBS is attempting to bring back Kevin James in King of Queens, I mean Kevin Can Wait. Time for my long dark secret to be revealed; I’ve watched maybe 20 minutes of King of Queens, but my daughter and I have seen almost every Kevin James family movie put out in the last five years. Paul Blart: Mall Cop one and two? Check. Zookeeper? Check. Here comes the Boom? Check. If you have four minutes to kill and enjoy the Chuck Lorre laugh track, then you can stomach this:

I watched the entire first episode. Let me repeat that. I WATCHED THE ENTIRE FIRST EPISODE. I could have saved 22 minutes of my life and just watched the four-minute video. Honest opinion on the show. TERRIBLE. And this is from a guy who enjoys watching him in four movies that are all basically the same.

And if networks aren’t rebooting old franchises or bringing back actors in the same role, then they are just rolling out truly terrible ideas. Who remembers Thundarr the Barbarian from 1980? Am I the only one? Time to refresh your memories of the horrible fate that awaited us in 1994:

If you didn’t want to watch that awesome spectacle, I’ll break it down for you. Conan the Barbarian travels to the Star Wars Universe and battles witches and monsters with a lightsaber. Princess Leia is a sorceress, and Chewbacca just looks different. FOX decided Thundarr was a great idea for a live action/animated comedy called Son of Zorn. I watched the pilot episode. Again, I WATCHED THE PILOT EPISODE. Only one potentially funny moment in the whole thing (and that’s pushing it):

It kind of looks like a fan film with so-so green/blue screen affects. Speaking of so-so, that is how my NFL picks have gone in the first two weeks. Covers that should have happened and teams dropping games they usually don’t are just ups and downs of “fake” sports betting that you have to live with. Let’s go to the picks.

Home teams will appear in all caps, my selection in bold.

Thursday, September 22nd 8:25 PM

Texans (- 1.5) over PATRIOTS

This is your likely starter New England:

Brissett is already programed in the Patriot way. Answer like a robot and generalities. One of the things kind of overlooked in the Patriots’ win against the Dolphins last week: their defense was eh. You got a rookie QB that went 6/9 for 92 yards and a fumble against a team whom two quarters earlier Garoppolo was throwing up on a pinball machine and having his way with. I predicted on my podcast New England would go 3-1 without Tom Brady. Here’s the one loss.

Sunday, September 25th 1 PM

Cardinals (-5) over BILLS

Matt Forte of the NY Jets rushed for three touchdowns against the Bills last week. What did Greg Roman have to do with that? Rumors abound that Roman and Rex Ryan have been on the outs for all of Ryan’s tenure in Buffalo. Arguably Tyrod Taylor has had some rising success with Roman and things are starting heat up with the Bills owners meeting with the offensive players without Rex Ryan. Was the wrong coordinator or wrong coach fired?

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 We are pretty sure this case will remain empty as long as the Ryan brothers are in Buffalo.

TITANS (-1) over Raiders

But Pat, you would never bet against your fantasy quarterback.” I should definitely amend that. I won’t bet against my fantasy quarterback helping me win games. Now win games for Oakland, that’s a whole different story. What an egg the Raiders laid (led by their defense) against Atlanta last week. I think the Titans make this an ugly winnable game, although the Carr brothers pwn Tom Brady when it comes to making commercials. Derek is so handsome and stats attractive:

Browns (+9.5) over Dolphins

Was there an awakening in New England last week with the Dolphin offense? Possibly. The browns are down to rookie QB Cody Kessler and are so desperate for a backup they’ve turned to…Charlie Whitehurst? This was Whitehurst 10 months ago:

JAGUARS (Pick) over Ravens

Can anyone else figure out the Jaguars and Ravens? Jacksonville hangs tough with Green Bay (who may have received some favorable no-calls) and craps out in San Diego. The Ravens had to come from behind to beat the Browns. When in doubt, take the home team.

Lions (+8) over PACKERS

I don’t think Green Bay covers here, but finds a way to win their 2016 home debut.

BENGALS (3) over Broncos

Teams play differently on the road, especially with a first year starting quarterback. Plus, DeMarcus Ware and a couple of other injuries will make things a little difficult for Trevor Siemian in Cincinnati.

PANTHERS (+7) over Vikings

Emotional win for Minnesota over Green Bay last week, but Adrian Peterson could be out several months with a torn meniscus and the Viking run game wasn’t much to write home about in the first two games.

GIANTS (-4.5) over Redskins

If you live in the DMV (DC, Maryland, Virginia) area like I do, all you can hear in the media are the whispers about Kirk Cousins and his costly interceptions. It’s not his fault that their defense has given up 65 points in the first two games.

Sunday, September 25th 4:05 PM

Rams (+5) over BUCCANEERS

Talk about not showing up to play. The Bucs were destroyed in Arizona last week and some injuries to key players are pretty significant and leave a question on who may be starting on Sunday. Rams will keep this ugly like they did in Seattle for an upset cover.

49ers (+10) over SEAHAWKS

Everyone is asking what is going on in Seattle. They can’t beat the Rams and they had to come from behind to beat the Dolphins. Here’s a great article by Mike Bar that points to a lack of spending on the o-line and health on the Seattle offensive woes as some pretty good reasons among others. Take into account this is a divisional game and the Seattle struggles, 10 points is a gift here.

Sunday, September 25th 4:25 PM

CHIEFS (-3) over Jets

Chiefs get it done at home.

COLTS (-3) over Chargers

I have no idea if Sand Diego will be able to produce the same offensive outcome they had against Jacksonville.

Steelers (-3.5) over EAGLES

I will continue to pick against Carson Wentz. He’s beaten the Browns and Bears (more on them in a minute). It’s midnight Carson Wentz. Pittsburgh is dragging the potato on the string.

Sunday, September 25th 8:30 PM

COWBOYS (-7) over Bears

Brian Hoyer is taking over for Jay Cutler who tries to rehab a right thumb sprain. Dak Prescott is the question here, but the Cowboys are good enough to cover at home on Sunday night. Real question is whether or not Tony Romo will be this generation’s Drew Bledsoe.

Monday, September 26th 8:30 PM

SAINTS (-3) over Falcons

Saints/Giants made a fool out of me last weekend by not going over the point total. Saints are 16/18 in their last 34 primetime games. Falcons are coming off a strong win at Oakland and lost the series with New Orleans last year (losing by 10 at the Saints). Saints rebound here.

Last week: 6-10-0

Season record: 12-18-2 (.406)

Pat Himes aka The Red Shamrock is a huge fan of sports, movies, poker, and fake sports betting. He is also cohost of The 80/20 Movie Show podcast with Gary Smith, which you can listen to for guy humor, movie reviews, and additional fake sports betting picks at www.fatherhoodrules.com. You can interact with Pat on Chaostrophic by interacting with him on the threads under his handle, Dalux247 or follow him on Twitter.


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