Redditor Finds Old Porn Game On An ’80s Mac He Bought Off Craigslist [NSFW]

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Redditor Finds Old Porn Game On An ’80s Mac He Bought Off Craigslist [NSFW]

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Reddit user wowbobwow came across an old Macintosh SE on Craigslist and figured, “what the hell, might as well buy it.” The reason for the purchase, according to wowbobwow, was the Ethernet card upgrade:

That Ethernet card is what caught my eye when I saw the Craigslist ad – they’re pretty unusual for this model. The seller had provided pics of it booting recently, but when he set it back up to show me when I came to buy it, he was dismayed to find that it wouldn’t boot anymore, and only sat there asking for a boot floppy. He also said something odd: “And listen, wowbobwow, I know this will sound like I’m crazy, but… when it turned on, it talked to me. Really.” Ooookay, buddy…

After tinkering with it for a little bit, wowbobwow, finally got the computer working again, and discovered that despite the seemingly outlandish claim, the thing did actually talk. Sort of. “A tiny animated moose(!) that randomly pops on screen and talks(!!) in a Steven Hawking-type voice from the Mac speaker, saying random silly things,” reads the caption on one picture. “The old guy who gave me this Mac wasn’t crazy after all.”

Eventually, the Redditor stumbles on a folder labeled “America Online,” but when he clicked on it he noticed it didn’t have any files that you would expect to find in a folder labeled “America Online.” Turns out, he was looking at the ’80s version of a “DEFINITELY NOT PORN!” folder, because this is what he found when he ran the program:

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What you’re looking at is the opening screen for “MacPlaymate,” a choose-your-own-adventure style X-rated game. Basically, you make Maxie there do sex stuff. Take a look (the following pics are, ya know, sexually explicit):

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The rest of the pics wowbobwow shared are even more graphic, so if you really want to see them feel free to browse the rest of them here. So that you understand what you’re getting into, here’s what the side menu bar looks like:

playmate-4[1]

You may have noticed a panic button in some of those images. Hilariously enough, the programmers of MacPlaymate foresaw the issue of unexpected company, so you just click on that and a helpful fake spreadsheet pops up!

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Clearly this was meant for a professional setting, because if you’re a high school kid and your parents walk in, it may be tough to explain why you’re going over spreadsheets for Apple dealers in New York.

Interestingly enough, this game did make it into a New York Times article from 1988. The basic idea of the article was they asked 10 “computer users” — these days known as people — if they had to pick between the Mac and an IBM which would they choose. They admit the survey has “a margin of error of 100 percent,” but at least one user said they would pick the Mac specifically because it could run MacPlaymate “whereas no such software apparently exists for the other machines.”

Glad to see some of our earliest computer porn lives on to this day.

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