10 Crazy (But Real) Stories About Farting
The woman who set herself on fire after farting during surgery
It’s the sort of fire starting stinker that may have the power to make even Stephen King cringe in horror. A female patient in her 30s suffered severe burns during a surgical procedure performed at Tokyo Medical University Hospital in April 2016. Reportedly, doctors had been using a laser near the woman’s cervix when she let out a fart. The laser then ignited the gas she released which caused a fire, engulfing the woman’s body, particularly her waist and legs. In a report published in October 2016 by the hospital, a committee of outside experts ruled out any other potential causes, such as other flammable materials in the operating room. (Source)
The soccer player who was sent off for farting during a match
A Swedish footballer lashed out after being sent off the field for breaking wind during a match, with the referee accusing him of “deliberate provocation” and “unsportsmanlike behavior.”
Adam Lindin Ljungkvist, who was playing at left-back in the match between Järna SK’s reserve team and Pershagen SK, was shown a second yellow card late in the game in what the media called “bizarre circumstances.”
“I had a bad stomach, so I simply let go,” the 25-year-old said. “Then I received two yellow cards and then red. Yes, I was shocked, it’s the strangest thing I have ever experienced in football. “I asked the referee, ‘What, am I not allowed to break wind a little?'” (Source)
The woman who was left farting through her vagina after a cancer operation goes wrong
As if having cancer wasn’t bad enough, doctors working on a woman’s colon accidentally ended up connecting it to her vagina. Jasminka Velkovska had been in the hospital to have a carcinoma removed from her colon, but when she woke up, she realized there had been a problem.
Jasminka said, “While I was recovering, doctors came and asked me if I was passing gas, and I said yes, but it’s coming out of my vagina. They told me that it would soon pass, and I would be ok, but stuff had started to come out of my vagina, and I was feeling scared, and it was all very unpleasant.”
The staff at the hospital gave her an X-ray, which showed that her colon and her vagina were indeed tied together — and worse, her carcinoma was still there. The hospital agreed to pay Velkovska £25,700 ($37,000) in compensation following the botched surgery. (Source)
The man who farted in revenge after a woman said no to sex
It may not be seen as the most mature way of blowing off steam, but one Swede apparently chose to use his flatulence as “revenge” on a woman who refused to have sex with him.
The pair had discussed having sex, but when the woman declined, her male acquaintance left in a huff — literally. Before he exited the apartment, he let a big one rip. The woman allegedly told police in Laholm, Sweden, that she had found the smell of the fart disturbing. (Source)
The cafe owner who let off a smelly fart to clear his shop
This hilarious video shows the moment an internet cafe owner dropped a massive fart to clear his shop of customers.
CCTV footage from the cafe shows the owner impatiently sitting in his office as he waits for customers to leave at closing time. With their backs turned, the owner sneaks into the room before dropping his pants and letting it rip right under their noses. He then slopes off into his office with a beaming smile as if nothing has happened, poised for his customers’ reactions.
The foul prank appears to reap instant results as both computer users rush to the feet with their hands over their mouths. Visibly disgusted, one lifts his T-shirt over his mouth to mask the stench as he quickly exits the room.
The woman who stabbed her boyfriend after he farted on her
In May 2013, Deborah Ann Burns, 37, of Immokalee, Florida was having an argument about money with her boyfriend of six years, Willie Butler, 53. Both were drinking, and as Butler went to the kitchen, he farted on Burns’ head. Burns confronted him, and he threw a knife at her. He missed.
Burns threw the knife back and hit her target — Butler ran outside with the knife lodged in his stomach. She gave chase and hit him on the arm with a stick. Cops arrived to find a bleeding Butler standing in front of his mailbox, but he was too drunk to give a statement. Burns denied cutting Butler, but was arrested and charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.
The school teacher who is facing charges after a telling student to “lick me where I fart”
A potty-mouthed Dunnville teacher, who slipped into foul territory before, is facing new charges. Dunnville Secondary School English teacher Jennifer Elizabeth Green-Johnson allegedly told a student: “Why don’t you lick me where I fart.”
Green-Johnson has been a frequent flier at the Ontario College of Teachers and the Grand Erie District School Board’s disciplinary committees. Most recently, she was suspended for 30 days in January 2016 for professional misconduct. Among the most recent allegations:
• She slapped a student on head, called him an idiot and told him to “grow some balls.”
• She allegedly called one student a “bloody pedophile.”
• Reportedly told a female student she “looked like a frumpy old lady today.”
• In the earlier disciplinary action, she slammed her students as stupid, idiots, gay, and called one a “bitch.” (Source)
The Bernie Sanders supporter who planned a “fart-in” protest
Bernie Sanders supporters tried to make a stink at the Democratic National Convention by staging a “fart-in,” but officials smelled that something was up and denied them access.
Organizer Cheri Honkala, who is the national coordinator for the Poor People’s Economic Human Rights Campaign, was joined by no more than five people for the unprecedented protest. In preparation, Sanders’ convention delegates scarfed down beans and other fiber-filled foods before arriving at the convention hall. They were intent on sending an olfactory message to Hillary Clinton and the Democrats that couldn’t be ignored. (Source)
The 8-year-old who penned thrilling apocalyptic novels about farts
Nothing conjures images of the apocalypse like a strong fart. This 8-year-old author understands that. A pair of book covers were posted to Imgur on April 2014. The volumes? The Fart that Killed Everyone and its companion, The Fart that Killed Everyone 2. The photo has been seen over half a million times. The author? The next Crichton, we assume. Except, allegedly, this writer is eight years old.
Still, we have a few questions before the inevitable book club discussion. Is the fart sentient? Does it have a name? If the first great fart killed everyone, how is there a sequel? In any event, can’t wait for the movies to come out. (Source | Photo)
The man who is on trial for child cruelty for farting in a child’s face
Roofer Gary McKenzie, 22, is accused of farting on a child’s face. He denies the charge, saying its “disgusting and disgraceful.” He has also been charged with punching the boy in the arm and sucking his eye while play fighting.
The official charge sheet states that McKenzie “willfully ill-treated the child, namely by breaking wind in his face, in a manner likely to cause him unnecessary suffering or injury to health contrary to section 1(1) of the Children and Young Persons Act 1933.” McKenzie says he was simply “playing” and claims the only farting episode he knew of had been accidental while climbing stairs.
In a police interview played to the court, the boy related the horrors of his ordeal. “He was right next to me and bending down; he was wearing shorts; his shorts were right next to my face. I said ‘why did you do that?’ and he said he did it because he wanted to be nasty.”
The boy said McKenzie was a serial fart attacker and that he had seen him do the same to another boy. “He pulled his pants down and farted right on their face. I knew he had because I heard the noise.” (Source)