Ever feel inadequate? Ever wish you could transform into a modern-day Lothario for just 24 hours? Well, study the following men. You might never be a movie star, a basketball icon or an American Idol judge, but you could…well, let’s face it, you’re never going to have sex with 2,000 women. We present to you — The 2K Club.

Jack Nicholson: 2,000 women
Notable Conquests: Kate Moss, Margaret Trudeau

Remember that scene in “The Departed” when a coked-out Frank Costello throws nose candy on those prostitutes? This might’ve been adopted from Jack Nicholson’s real life. Probably. The man who was by his own admission raised by women grew to love them every which way, and he’s reportedly defiled over 2,000 of them.

According to Jack, he’s slept with women of every legal age, including their mothers. Let’s hope some of those legal women weren’t above the age of 60, or else he would’ve gotten into some pretty gray territory. Today, the 79-year-old thespian legend leads a quiet life, enjoying yacht rides with models and playing dad to his five children from four different women. Hey, it comes with the territory.

Simon Cowell: 2,080 women
Notable Conquests: Lauren Silverman, Sinetta, Carmen Electra

From 1980 to 2000, the American Idol judge and millionaire music producer bagged two women a week. In 2010 he came clean, saying, “Yes, I’ve had sex with 2,000 women.” Smug, prissy and undeniably metro, many thought he was gay. But that was probably just a front to get them to let down their guard. Here’s a young Simon Cowell in 1987. His trick: “I like women. I just like them. I like flirting and I like to listen.” Men, listen. And learn to say things like “ghastly” in a posh British accent.

Gene Simmons: 4,800 women
Notable Conquests: Angelina Jolie, Uma Thurman, Farrah Fawcett

Poor Brad. We’ll get to more Angie later. After 37 years of touring with KISS, one journalist asked Gene Simmons how many women he slept with. “A lot of them didn’t get any sleep,” he replied. Some of you are probably in doubt, but in an interview with British tabloid The Sun, he was frank: “It’s 4,800. I took Polaroid photos for a long time. I took photos of the vast majority. It just proves you can be an ugly bastard and if you’ve got the right job you’ll have the access.” OK, then.

Charlie Sheen: 5,000 women
Notable Conquests: Denise Richards, Winona Ryder, Melanie Rios

“I don’t pay prostitutes for sex, I pay them to leave.” When it came to light in 2014 that Charlie Sheen had contracted HIV, the media reported that he could soon be sued by 700 women. In addition to ladies of the night, casual groupies and possibly the occasional chinchilla, sources have said that he even “cohabited” with a dozen men and transsexuals. He spent $1 million on hookers in 2013, leading one to believe that his brother Emilio is quite the laggard.

Warren Beatty: 12,775 women
Notable Conquests: Madonna, Diane Keaton, Annette Bening

Um, what? In 2010, Beatty biographer Peter Biskind dropped the bomb. In his book, “Star: How Warren Beatty Seduced America,” he wrote the number was around “12,775, give or take, a figure that does not include daytime quickies, drive-bys, casual gropings, stolen kisses and so on.”

Yes, Beatty has porked the population of a small town. He lost his virginity at 20, meaning that over the course of the next 35 years, he had sex with two woman per day. Possible, seeing as though in the 1960s he was quite the handsome chap. According to one of his bones, Joan Collins, “He never stops. It must be all those vitamins he takes.”

Fidel Castro: 35,000 women
Notable Conquests: Slaves

Journalist Ann Louise Bardach once asked the totalitarian Cuban dictator how many children he had. “Almost a tribe,” an aide said. From 1959 to 2008, Fidel Castro was the leader of Cuba, and legend has it that he amassed more than 35,000 flames during his 49-year reign. I say “flames” because he probably threatened to burn them to death if they rejected him.

According to the New York Post, best-selling author Ian Halperin interviewed an ex-Castro official named Ramon who said, “He slept with at least two women a day for more than four decades — one for lunch and one for supper. Sometimes he even ordered one for breakfast.”

Ron Jeremy: 3,000 to 4,000 women
Notable Conquests: Tera Patrick, Amber Lynn

What can we say about The Hedgehog that hasn’t been said? He bangs. With a 14-girl scene and more than 800 pornos under his belt, Ron Jeremy himself estimates the official number to be between 3,000 and 4,000.

Dennis Rodman: 2,000 women
Notable Conquests: Madonna, Carmen Electra

He was a shy boy. He lost his virginity at 20, but only because his friends paid a prostitute $20 to have sex with him. From there, the famous Bull became a literal bull in the bone department. But let’s focus on Madonna, because it’s hilarious.

Dennis Rodman never used condoms until he had sex with Madonna. Smart. “She wanted to get pregnant really bad,” he wrote in his autobiography “Bad As I Wanna Be.” Madonna allegedly told him, “I want every drop of your cum inside me. I won’t let it go because I want to have your baby.” Once again, smart on the condoms, Rod. He also never gave oral sex to Madonna. This guy deserves a Nobel Prize! In 2010, years after the aging succubus tried stealing his seed, Rodman totaled the number at 2,000, but “500 of them were gold diggers.”

Mick Jagger: 4,000 women
Notable Conquests: Angelina Jolie, Uma Thurman, Farrah Fawcett

David Bowie was allegedly one of them. The Rolling Stones singer, according to biographer Chris Andersen, “has slept with 4,000 women over the course of his life, and in retrospect, I think that might be kind of a low figure.” The 73-year-old is still touring — a testament to his stamina, which is now officially Guinness-worthy.

Wilt Chamberlain: 20,000 women
Notable Conquests: Lynda Huey

We’ve all heard the tale. Some of us have digested it with wonderment. But at one point in his life, the greatest scorer in NBA history rolled over in bed to his girlfriend Lynda Huey and said, “What’s a zero between friends?” To some, this implies one of the zeroes was exaggerated, a myth, a boastful number to make his legend grow taller. Which makes sense, because 20,000 is f**king impossible.

As the math goes, if Wilt started having sex at age 15 and over 40 years laid pipe to 20,000 women, he would’ve had to have sex with 500 girls every year, or 1.4 a day. In 1999, Chamberlain had some final words on his life of sex and hoops right before he died. “Having a thousand different ladies is pretty cool, I’ve learned in my life. I’ve (also) found out that having one woman a thousand different times is more satisfying.”



That’s bullshit. I have no idea how many women I’ve slept with. I couldn’t even tell you for sure the order of magnitude. Not as many as these guys, but who the hell knows? My brain doesn’t keep a tally.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

More Boobs - Less Politics ​​

And Now... A Few Links From Our Sponsors