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10 Hilariously Stupid Conspiracy Theories (That People Actually Believe)

 

There’s no doubt that there’s more going on in this world than any one person will ever know. Several times in history, the ‘conspiracy nuts’ have been proven right, from secret CIA mind control experiments to inhumane government syphilis testing.

Not every conspiracy theory is grounded in truth though, and for every theory that’s later proven to be true, there’s hundreds that amount to little more than crazy, unfounded ramblings. Some of the more famous ones, such as the faked Moon landing, have even perpetrated the public mindset to the point that they have expansive followings far greater than they deserve.

This list isn’t interested in any mainstream theories though. What follows are the truly fringe conspiracy theories with small but dedicated followings. With insane premises like dinosaurs being involved in building the pyramids and Obama owning a magic weather control machine, it’s a wonder how any of these conspiracy theories came to existence at all. So put on your tinfoil hats, fold your bank notes and prepare your ciphers, because what follows are the most hilariously stupid conspiracy theories ever posited.

Please note that we  take no responsibility for any surprise Man in Black visits that may occur after reading this article.

10. The Moon Isn’t Real

Wikipedia

Sometimes boring, only slightly crazy conspiracy theories just aren’t enough for certain people. Going above and beyond the usual ‘fake Moon landings’ proposition, there is a small group of people that’s totally convinced the entire Moon is a fabrication. The general theory appears to be that there is something behind the ‘Moon’, but what we see is actually just a giant hologram.

The proposed reasoning behind this giant Truman Show-esque illusion doesn’t seem to have been formulated yet, but apparently it’s powered by a massive electrical system. This theory doesn’t even make much of an attempt to explain when this hologram came about, or if there ever was a real moon. The terrible video below purports to demonstrate an error in Moon hologram’s imaging, so judge the likelihood of this conspiracy for yourself.

9. Dinosaurs Helped Build The Pyramids

Wikipedia

The pyramids have long been the subject of a wild variety of conspiracy theories, but this one really takes the biscuit. A school in Malta, named the Accelerated Christian Academy, has a director that believes the dinosaurs were not only alive at the same time as humans, but also gave the Egyptians a hand (or claw) in building the pyramids.

Speaking of the theory, director of the institution Vince Fenech states quite clearly, “Of course the dinosaurs existed. It is mentioned in the Book of Job. They were used to help build the pyramids”. Fortunately, Fenech claims that this particular theory isn’t taught at his school, and it’s only a “personal belief” of his. He does, however, teach that the universe is only 6,000 years old, so it’s probably best not to send your child over to the institution just yet.

8. The US Government Dumped Fake Snow On Georgia

Youtube

There can be many reasons behind some of the more insane conspiracy theories, from paranoia to possible mental illness. Occasionally though, it just boils down to a total lack of understanding basic science. Late last year, a rare occurrence happened in and around Atlanta, Georgia. It snowed. Of course, this isn’t conspiracy theory material in itself.

At some point, one Georgian genius decided to try and melt a fistful of snow with a butane lighter and found that, rather than turning into a puddle of water, it blackened and filled their nostrils with a plastic smell. This triggered a mass of videos posted online of people doing the same thing, provoking people to conclude that the snow was fake and possibly poisonous.

As more astute readers will have already figured out, the snow was melting, but only appears not to because a direct flame turns it into slush. The blackening is just soot, and the plastic smell? The fumes from the lighter. Brilliant.

7. Yoga Is A Form Of Satanic Worship

2016 Getty Images

If there were a list of controversial topics for discussion, you might not expect yoga to be one of them. Regardless, there are a number of people that believe yoga is actually an evil practice designed to trick people into worshipping Satan.

Rather than being simply a good way to relax and exercise, these people interpret the practice as being a way of opening people up to Satanic possession. Sure, yoga and its practitioners can be a bit odd sometimes, but to say that they’re all devil worshippers seems a bit harsh.

Still, the internet is filled with ‘horror stories’ of people claiming they narrowly escaped the evil clutches of a yoga class, and how they found redemption only after denouncing yoga and embracing Jesus. Sounds perfectly rational.

6. Obama Can Control The Weather

Jae C. Hong/AP

When Obama was under pressure over the IRS scandal and Benghazi, his administration had a clever trick up its sleeve. To alleviate the heat, they used their top secret weather machine to create a tornado that devastated Oklahoma and destroyed the town of Moore. Or, at least, that’s what a certain group of conspiracy theorists want you to believe.

The idea is that the Obama administration uses their weather machine to distract from certain political scandals and other happenings that they aren’t happen with. The same conspiracy tends to crop up every time there’s a natural disaster. Hurricane Isaac? Obama messing about with the Republicans using his weather machine.

Hurricane Sandy? Obama making himself look a hero using his weather machine. It all makes perfect sense.

5. Scientists Don’t Want You To Know Our Earth Is Hollow

By Symmes, Americus & Symmes, John Cleves [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

A few centuries ago, it’s understandable that a lot of people had some strange (see: Wrong) ideas about our very own planet. These days though, we’ve just about nailed down the idea that it probably isn’t flat. Some conspiracy theorists believe that the Earth is actually hollow, able to be accessed using an entrance at the South Pole.

Why anyone would even get this idea in the first place is a mystery in itself, but apparently it’s a secret that NASA and multiple governments have been trying to keep from us for centuries. Of course, if it were hollow, then everything we know about gravity and physics is wrong. Also, you’d think someone might have noticed a dirty great hole on the bottom of the world by now.

4. The US Government Created HIV

By Photo Credit: C. Goldsmith Content Providers: CDC/ C. Goldsmith, P. Feorino, E. L. Palmer, W. R. McManus [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

As one of the biggest killers in the world, HIV is a notoriously destructive disease. No cure has yet been found, fuelling a global conspiracy theory that the CIA actually invented the disease in order to kill off homosexuals and black people.

The HIV conspiracy theory is a worryingly widespread rumour, and it’s a belief shared by Thabo Mbeki, the former South African president, along with a number of other public figures. Wangari Maathai, the first female Nobel Peace Prize winner, even used her acceptance speech to talk about how HIV and AIDS were created by Western scientists.

Like only the best conspiracy theories, the theory began with a nefarious agenda though. A Snopes study found that the source of the rumours originated from an old propaganda campaign, published by the Soviet Literary Gazette magazine.

3. Denver Airport Is The Most Evil Place On Earth

[Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Denver Airport is not just the largest airport in the United States, and winner of Business Traveler Magazine’s ‘America’s Best Run Airport’ award for six years running.

No. It’s actually the headquarters of the Neo-Nazis, New World Order, Illuminati and Satan himself, depending on who you’re talking to.

It’s true, Denver Airport is a bit of a weird place. It’s filled with bizarre artwork, and visitors are greeted by a pretty intimidating statue of a giant horse with red eyes. This, along with some people claiming that an aerial view of the airport makes it looks a bit like a Nazi swastika, is apparently reason enough to believe that it plays host to the most evil organisations from history and legend.

2. Saddam Hussein’s Alien Stargate Was The Real Reason For Iraq Invasion

Youtube

“Imagine this scenario. The U.S. government obtains intelligence that hidden somewhere in central Iraq is an actual Stargate,placed there by the Anunnaki ‘gods’ of ancient Sumeria.” That’s an actual quote from one of several sites that insist the Iraq War was actually started because the United States wanted access to Saddam Hussein’s secret Stargate device.

Apparently, the Stargate was hidden away in a secret base near Al-Ouja, which he obtained after contacting an ancient alien race. Saddam was intending to use the Stargate to allow the race to invade Earth, but fortunately the New World Order decided to step in and prevent it.

That’s some next level conspiracies within conspiracies. Seriously, take a look at this site, which casually discusses how U.S. soldiers were equipped with X-ray goggles, and Saddam was breeding giant mutant scorpions. Seriously.

1. Most Of Our World Leaders Are Space Lizards

YouTube

Popularised by notorious conspiracy theorist David Icke, the ‘Reptilians’ cover up story is the quintessential nut job theory. The idea is that the world is secretly being run by shape-shifting reptilian aliens, who are manipulating just about everything from behind the scenes. Key reptilians include Queen Elizabeth II and Barack Obama, who are both allegedly blood-drinking humanoids from the Alpha Dragonis system.

Many sceptics have argued that the theory is pretty much stolen from the original V television series, in which aliens arrive on earth and also pretend to be human. The craziest thing about this theory is just how popular it is though. David Icke has supporters of his theory in almost 50 different countries, and his lectures often draw large crowds.

Worst of all, a Public Policy Polling survey found that 4% of registered voters in the United States believed in David Icke’s theory. Good to see such sensible people in charge of who becomes the most powerful person (or lizard?) in the world.

 

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