When I pitched this list, I’m pretty sure I just got caught up in the awesome alliteration of the title. But now I realize I didn’t really think it through. What exactly are we talking about here? Hot rock-goddess getups? Well, hot, we know what that means even if we don’t objectively know what that is. And getups are pretty much signature costumes, right? But what’s a “rock goddess?” Who qualifies as such? And then, what makes them hot? That’s what this list seeks to discover. In doing so, I hope not to objectify these Goddesses, but merely to praise them for the deities they are. And praise rock while I’m at it. May it long live.
Few rocked leather better than hall of famer, Joan Jett. Even fewer rocked leather better while singing rock songs about rock ‘n’ roll. But that’s how you get crowned the Queen of Rock ‘n’ Roll. The Godmother of Punk. Make no bones about it: Joan’s getup had a lot to do with her identity. You knew where she was coming from, just from her look. Or at least you knew her no-shit-taking persona. Joan made her own bones while learning how to rock when she and The Runaways, aka “jailbait on the run,” toured around the world with the likes of Cheap Trick, Ramones, Van Halen, and Tom Petty. You can read all about it in my future book, “Heartbreakers and Blackhearts.”
I’ve actually never seen someone make an acoustic guitar look as rock ‘n’ roll as Lita does in the photo above. Oh, you didn’t see that guitar there? Another survivor of The Runaways, Lita didn’t have as much talent as Joan, but at least she understood where her strengths were. Remember when we were talking about those few who wore leather better? Well, Lita is in that company.
I think we can all agree that Tina Turner is a Goddess of Rock, just from listening to “Proud Mary“. And we could pick a number of Tina’s hottest Rock Goddess outfits; but after all the ups and downs of Ike, and then finally triumphing again with “What’s Love Got to Do With It,” what could be more of a Goddess exclamation point than this “Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome” getup? And while it may not be Tina’s hottest from a leg-showing standpoint, it might be her most bold, and likely her only outfit that had to be okayed by mad visionary George Miller, who also directed “Happy Feet.” It just screams power, the kind that comes from sexily lording over a post-apocalyptic tribe chanting “two men enter one man leave.” That’s the power of sexy rock. Tina don’t need another hero, she’s hero enough for all.
I hate to admit this, but I actually watch “The Voice.” Mostly just to see what Gwen is wearing, as her style keeps evolving to new levels of Rock Goddess hotness. But I loved “Just a Girl” Gwen first. That look was a statement. As much as the music, which rips and sounds like nothing else before it. Gwen was a rebel, and a punk, but a hot, spunky, ska punk — in a half shirt. And b-boy sneaks that made her seem approachable. With abs like a cornerback. But a hot cornerback.
Even before I realized the Goddess heat of Meg, I noticed her getup, because of its pairing with Jack’s. The red and white façade became an immediate and alluring identifier. While it may not have been the most elaborate costume ever—usually just white top and red pants, or vice versa—it always allowed Meg to be comfortable. And when Meg’s comfortable, she beats the shit out of some drums. And when Meg beats the shit out of drums, her luscious bongos bounce to the beat, enhance the beat, feed the beat, and goddamn Rock Goddess glory reigns down, so much so that you have trouble taking your eyes off her, even though she’s playing with perhaps the biggest Rock God going today.
Sure, they’re not the hot white-light kind of deities, but the Turner girls — who started the band when they were 9 and 13, along with their hot friend — surely wield the Hammer of the Gods. Axes too. And they know what to do with them: slay humans, as this album cover would suggest. Perhaps we don’t see enough skin to really speak so hotly of the get-up here, but if you can don black spandex and shoulder pads, sit atop an evil thrown and call your band “Rock Goddess,” then you can make my list. (Besides, the only other hot pics I could find were apparently too close to kiddie porn for management to allow.)
If you’re not rocking the purple zebra stripe full leotard, what are you rocking? Everything in my closet has been officially deemed worthless since I saw this photo. Of course, any old pop star in zebra stripes won’t make this list. No, you better rock too. And Pat Benatar rocks. You may have been introduced to her wailing ways with “Love Is a Battlefield,” and her Goddessness may have been cemented with “Shadows of the Night,” but for me, fair is fair; you just don’t get much more rocking than the legendary Billie Jean’s theme song, “Invincible.”
I didn’t mean to imply that Pat’s the only Goddess on this list who wears the hell out of zebra print, but I will go ahead and say that Blondie is the only one I found wearing a cock necklace.
This all-girl Led Zeppelin cover band isn’t exactly a household name; they probably don’t even have a style team just yet, but they have an arrestingly angelic getup all their own. White shirts and pants. Simple. Elegant. Yet trashy. Holy, in a slutty, I’ll f*** you and kick your ass kind of way.
Former lifeguard, stripper, live sex performer at “Captain Kink’s Theatre” and Plasmatics frontwoman Wendy O’Williams definitely had the rocking part down. Just ask anyone who went to CBGBs in the late ’70s. Or ask sex, drugs & rock ‘n’ roller, Lemmy, particularly about this duet of “Jailbait,” when Wendy rocks a head-banging house of testosterone in the skimpiest of leather bikinis. (Actually, don’t ask Lemmy.) From what I can tell, Wendy didn’t like her getups weighed down with too much material. Maybe she’s not traditionally hot, in that pretty kind of way, but do rock getups get much more rock ‘n’ roll than taped tits hanging out of your leopard print?
10 HOTTEST ROCK GODDESS GETUPS