It’s summertime, and when the sun comes out, dudes get thirsty. But there’s a difference between just being single for the summer and the men that populate this article. These dudes are so desperate for female companionship that they’ve gone to some seriously intense ends. Not content to just swipe right a dozen times like normal people, they’ve taken their Love Quests to the world in ways that we never predicted.

Ren Lu You

Thirsty dudes aren’t necessarily complete failures. Ren Lu You is a young, good-looking Harvard Business School graduate who just hasn’t managed to get hooked up with the perfect girl yet. So he’s putting some cash on the line – $10,000 to be exact. The lonely economics major set up a website,, and offered a bounty. If you introduce him to a girl that he goes out with for longer than six months, you take home the cash. Ten large is a pretty steep price to pay for true love, but so far Ren hasn’t had to pay out a penny. (Photo credit:

Eduardo Garcia

There are so many ways to find a girl in the modern era. Old-school methods like going out to clubs, high-tech apps on your phone – it’s not difficult to find a date. So you have to have an extreme thirst to try to get laid by calling 911 and hitting on the dispatcher. That’s what Eduardo Garcia did while on a camping trip in Florida’s Lake Griffin State Park. Garcia called the emergency number and when he got a female operator asked her if she was single and told her he had “big muscles.” He called back multiple times, so police eventually headed out to his campsite and arrested him. Thirst doesn’t pay. (Photo credit: 7Online)

Paul Barry

Modern romance is tough. Lonely student Paul Barry read about people finding dates on Tinder, but couldn’t figure out how to get the app on his phone. So, desperate to get a girl in time for Valentine’s Day, he took matters into his own hands. Standing out in front of an H&M store in Merseyside, Barry brandished a cardboard sign reading “Will Date Anyone” and a bouquet of roses. Needless to say, this pathetic display of public thirst didn’t result in any action for the lonely guy, but friends did film his love quest for a documentary. (Photo credit: AOL)
Romeo Rose

With a name like Romeo Rose, you’d expect the guy to have a lock on the arts of romance. Unfortunately for him, that’s not true at all. The long-haired Texas resident has become a bit of a local celebrity thanks to his “Sleepless In Austin” website, where he ran down his requirements for the woman of his dreams. She needs to be thin, White or Hispanic or European descent, and can’t have had children because it “makes their vagina looser.” Like several of the thirsty dudes on this list, he offered a cash bounty for interested matchmakers, but $1,500 wasn’t enough to get anybody to take the plunge with Romeo. (Photo credit: Texas Monthly)

Yossi Rosenberg

When the New York Post describes you as “the city’s most desperate single man,” you know you done goofed. The Big Apple is full of lonely hearts looking to hook up, but Yossi Rosenberg – a vegetarian who once appeared on a reality show about dating fat women – has never had a serious girlfriend. So he expressed his fantastic thirst by paying hundreds of dollars to an outsourcing company to create videos to ask women out. He made fifty of the damn things and sent them out to a flabbergasting array of ladies, from elementary school crushes to girls from dating sites. Even after his efforts, Rosenberg is still single. (Photo credit: Youtube)

Unnamed French Man

The legal system in Europe is less open with the names of their defendants, so we’ll probably never know the name of this thirsty Frenchie. But his legacy definitely earns him a spot on the list. When his girlfriend broke up with him after he did a bunch of work in the apartment they shared. He moved out, but felt like she should have been more grateful for the renovations. So, in an act of incredible stupidity, he went on to text her 21,807 times in the next ten months demanding that she say “thank you.” He also started calling her as many as 73 times a day. A judge sentenced him to six months in jail for his efforts. (Photo credit: Joi Ito via Flickr CC)

Gordon Engle

It’s hard to think of a more desperate move than plastering your face at giant size over a city, but Gordon Engle pulled it off. The thirsty North Carolina divorcee theoretically shouldn’t have any trouble finding a mate – he’s rich, well-traveled and not hideous. But he didn’t want to go on like an ordinary plebian, so he set up a website that has videos of him prowling his enormous mansion and chilling on his boat, and then bought two huge billboards in Charlotte and one over the Stevenson Expressway in Chicago to drive traffic. (Photo credit: Youtube)

Malik Turner

You don’t have to have a lot of money to have a massive thirst. Malik Turner is a fortysomething man who lives with his mother in Harlem, and he’s ready to find the woman of his dreams. How is he going about it? By hand-writing personal ads and putting them up on phone booths around New York City. Turner’s ads state that he’s looking for a blonde, long-legged babe who wants to split the check on dates and isn’t an actual prostitute. When his mother was informed about her son’s dating strategy, she wasn’t terrifically happy about it. (Photo credit: The Gloss)

The I Love You, Shauna Guy

We don’t have the name of this particular thirsty dude, but his accomplishments in the field of debasing himself utterly for a woman need to be recognized. In 2014, the website “I Love You Shauna” was discovered, a deeply pathetic apology letter to an ex-girlfriend that’s so desperate it’s almost funny. Our unnamed dumpee rolls over and shows Shauna his belly before promising to do an enormous list of things that include “spend more time with your family” and “make you my Woman Crush Wednesday on Instagram every Wednesday.” Yikes. (Photo credit: Her)

Robert Darling

Here’s another New Yorker taking an unconventional approach to finding a lady love. Robert Darling has been unemployed for the past decade, but instead of looking for a work he spends his days with a hand-scrawled sign that reads “Looking for a wealthy lady to be my wife.” Darling parades around with his advertisement outside the Metropolitan Museum of Art, in the Financial District and Columbus Circle – three spots where rich babes do hang out. He hasn’t really had any luck with it so far, and you’d think that after ten years he might want to change it up a little. (Photo credit: Whats On Sanya)




The female equivalent is a women that tarts herself up but can’t get hit upon.

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