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10 PEOPLE SWALLOWED THE WEIRDEST THINGS THEN GOOGLED IF IT WOULD KILL THEM

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To visit the ER or not to visit the ER? That is the question that plagues everyone who swallowed weird shit then googles to see if they’re going to die. People will swallow anything out of curiosity, boredom or just sheerly because they’re cheap asses who don’t like to pay for things like the rest of us. But, as they say, all things must pass in the end (the rear end, am I right?).

Check out some of these indigestion horror stories and see if you have a weirder ingestion story that can top these. Don’t tell us though, if you do. Keep that shit to yourself, then for your own sake, take it to the grave.

“I swallowed a 64GB SD card.”

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Just posted on June 13, this numbnuts accidentally swallowed a memory card while trying to multitask through a sneeze. The day that started with hot models poolside on a perfect day ended with people coaxing him — “What an idiot!” — into either puking it up for the sake of the work or convincing him to let it pass. “One pasta strainer later,” he got it back, albeit the footage was ruined. Some perfect day he had.

“If I swallowed a penny as a child, is it possible it’s still somewhere inside me?”

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Maybe the bullet isn’t your biggest problem. This guy, “orangeshoe,” on a Health & Fitness thread says he “accidentally” swallowed a penny years ago when he was about three, and now he’s curious if it’s hiding in his body, or if he secretly shat it out. Well, circle gets the square on this one, orangeshoe, as you’re unfortunately still around and have the right to vote.

“What would happen if you swallowed a bullet?”

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I found this one interesting, because it sounds like they hadn’t done it yet and were considering doing it, which would drum up a lot more questions than if it were an accident. Upon reading further, it turns out she’s more ignorant than we feared when her first question was “Will it go off inside me?” That’s nothing. A boy swallowed 57 bullets during a family game. Wonder what they do for Christmas.

“My friend swallowed a drywall nail.”

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You’re asking for a friend, huh? Sure. Apparently while working, this gentleman’s “friend” took down a 1-5/8″ nail, and then this gem of a friend googled for him to see if he’d be alright. Well, a nail is rough because one end is pointed for stabbing body parts, the other can get caught and if it’s long enough, which this one is, it can be tricky to pass. How does one swallow such a big nail without first lubing the throat. Sounds like his “friend” lost a bet. Luckily the thread offers helpful medical advice, such as “there are better ways to get your daily iron intake.” Just be thankful (for your friend) that it wasn’t a screw.

“I swallowed a toothpick. Shit.”

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Shit is right, my friend, and a painful one at that, should said toothpick splinter. This particular incident started the way most terrible incidents start: with alcohol late at night. While attempting to shoot toothpicks through a straw, this genius took a deep breath and inhaled the little wooden weapon, followed swiftly the next day by sharp pains in the sternum. To make matters worse, he thought referencing an episode of “House” to his doctor would help.

“So you’ve swallowed your dentures…”

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Seeing this article reveals that this is a recurring problem, and upon reading up we can see the X-ray of a poor soul who manage to swallow all their teeth. Bones, not just fish bones, and dentures are common digestive tract mishaps for older folks, which is strange because we thought that swallowing teeth was something you outgrew around the time you realized — spoiler alert! — the Tooth Fairy isn’t real.

“What to do if your child swallows a rock?”

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That’s nothing. Kids swallow rocks all the time. However, a woman in China swallowed nearly 20 rocks after a relationship squabble. Maybe she thought they were healing crystals. She was urged to have them removed. To top her, check out this picture of a woman who swallowed a whole spatula!

“My snake swallowed my electric blanket.”

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We’re not sure what’s more impressive: That you have 12-foot snake in your home, that it ate an electric blanket or that it wasn’t full after that and still managed to eat the cords and control box. Suffice it to say, this was a first for everyone involved, but after a two-hour surgery, the problem was resolved.

“I think I swallowed a small piece of a ketchup packet.”

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“While I was eating. Will I be alright?” Survey says “yes,” but I love how someone went in there and answered “no” just to screw with your head.

Little Haley didn’t just swallow “ah” magnet. She swallowed 30 magnets.

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An eight-year-old girl swallowed 20 magnets and 10 steel balls, claiming they looked like candy. (She must’ve had a shitty Easter growing up.) Despite being a good student, she was silly enough to consume 30 pieces of a construction toy, which tore eight holes in her intestines and required emergency surgery and a two-week stay in the hospital.

 

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