foodThe kitchen can be a perplexing place. We all need gadgets to get our cooking and baking done, but sometimes food inventions just go too far. Do we need something to help us scramble our eggs and turn them into a log? Is there ever a time when leftover pizza should be turned into an accessory — you know, instead of being left in the fridge to be consumed at a later time?
This ramen hair protector. I mean, WHAT IS THIS? The product costs $15 (HA!), but the tag line is priceless: “Who likes when ramen broth splashes you in the hair, necessitating having to wash sooner than scheduled?”
I have heard the saying that sex is like pizza: Even when it is bad, it’s still good. But is that really true? Really? Would a slice of pizza stored in a plastic pouch and worn around someone’s neck be better than just skipping the slice altogether? I’ll let you decide. (But seriously, please don’t eat the pouch pizza.)
For some reason, this keyboard waffle iron makes me think about that scene in Wayne’s World when Stacey gives Wayne the gun rack for his birthday. (“I don’t even own a gun, let alone many that would necessitate an entire rack.”) I feel similarly about this waffle iron: I don’t really love waffles, but even if I did, would I want to consume an entire QWERTY board’s worth? Then again, I clearly don’t know anything about anything, ’cause this guy raised more than $66,000 on Kickstarter to make this a reality.
What signifies the death of a trend? When I saw this selfie spoon, I thought that maybe we had taken this whole selfie thing too far and this was the beginning of the end. Do we really need this photographic angle when sharing pictures of ourselves shoving food into our mouths? This might be the most perplexing of food inventions.
If smacking your head with your palm after seeing the ramen hair protector gave you a massive headache, then maybe you need a drink! But will you ever need a bag’s worth of drinks, like this wine sack? Will that ever be something you carry around? Really? If I saw a friend of mine carry this around, I’d pull them aside and be like, “Look. We need to talk about your drinking habit and your shopping habit.” An intervention double whammy.
I mean, I guess really hating soggy cereal is a thing, but COME ON — do we really need a bowl that divides foods and liquids like this? Especially when said food is meant to be served in a liquid?
I don’t have kids yet, so I don’t know the lengths parents have to go to in order to get their kids to eat. But even if my kid turns out to be the pickiest eater on the planet, I don’t think I’ll be making them fried eggs in the shape of a cat face.
Let’s keep with the egg theme and look ahead to this bizarre gadget that really defies logic — and makes my brain hurt. The Rollie’s tag line is “cooking eggs made easy,” but is cooking eggs really that hard? If the Rollie helped to make the perfect poached egg, I’d be like, “Oh, fair enough,” but the Rollie just makes scrambled eggs in a log shape. Watch the infomercial and tell me that you want to eat that. I dare you.
Why oh why do people invent things for problems that don’t exist? If you think the Rollie was bad, then how about this cookie spoon “that makes dipping easier.” WHEN WAS DUNKING COOKIES IN MILK EVER HARD? What’s more, there are five different colors “to collect.” I give up.
10 Ridiculous Food Gadgets You Have To See To Believe