10 Sexy Video Game Moments You Were Never Meant To Find

As video games have evolved from crude, 8-bit blockfests to the detailed graphical experiences we’ve come to expect today, the human form has continued to take a more prominent role. Many modern video games put players in control of near lifelike avatars and heroes, seeing the lines between what’s real and what’s virtual reality get blurred further and over time.

While this makes our action heroes more dashingly good looking or our enemies more dastardly and vile, it can also see video games take on a more sexual aesthetic at the same time. Humans, humanoid aliens and even the odd maniacal villain have been the subject of some fairly raunchy video game moments over the years, and the industry has a number of characters who are renowned pin-ups all over the world.

Not all such moments were as obvious in games, however, and there have been just as many innuendos and easter eggs hidden inside all manner of titles. Whether they were added for the developers’ delight or just the unexpected consequence of determined players managing to manipulate the mechanics of a game, these moments were never meant to be seen by so many prying eyes.

Without further ado, here are ten of the sexiest video game moments that you probably were never meant to find.

10. Princess Peach’s ‘Vibe Scepter’

The Vibe Scepter is an artifact in Super Princess Peach that is used to affect a character’s “vibes” and manipulate their behavior accordingly. In the game Bowser uses the artifact to have minions successfully capture Mario and Luigi, leaving Peach to embark on the quest to rescue the brothers.

When she discovers that the Vibe Scepter is what’s been responsible for the unusual activity all across the island, Peach defeats Bowser and removes all effects of its emotional control. Seems innocent enough, right?

Well, not exactly.

The ending sequence for the game describes that the artifact has mysterious powers and that “maybe, just maybe, the Vibe Scepter is hidden away in your house somewhere…” The entries go on to reference the fact that your “mom’s been laughing happily a lot”, suggesting that this phallic instrument with pleasurable powers may not be quite so innocent after all!

9. The Naked Lady In Kirby’s Dreamland 2

You’d be forgiven for thinking that the staged, platform levels of a game like Kirby’s Dreamland 2 would be safe from any sexual connotations or innuendo. You would also, however, be wrong. It turns out that the iconic hero may have enjoyed one stage in the second Dreamland title a little more than the rest.

In the game’s 5-5 secret stage, Kirby moves around on a setting that looks suspiciously like a crude rendering of a naked woman. The pink and white background is populated by platforms that look first like a smiling face, then like two breasts, before a squared belly button and vagina-esque shape follow directly underneath.

It may not be one of the most outwardly raunchy moments hidden within a video game but, given the innocence of the Kirby series, it’s definitely one of the most unexpected. Seeing Kirby jump all over a naked lady is hardly what we’d have expected, but in hindsight perhaps we should have foreseen such themes in a dream-themed game!

8. Real Life Sex Lines In The Last Of Us

Finding something a bit sexual in a game like The Last of Us is probably one of the last things you’d expect as a player. After all, is there anything remotely alluring about a mysterious virus that turns masses of the population into zombie-like creatures and subsequently leads to an apocalypse scenario?

Didn’t think so.

What was surprisingly sexual, however, were some of the phone numbers that appeared in the game’s first retail release. Numbers for a pest control company could be seen posted on a wall in Pittsburgh, and a few players discovered that calling these numbers in real life actually took the caller to an active phone sex line.

Obviously this was a mistake, and updated versions of the game have had these numbers removed in patch updates. Naughty Dog explained that the inclusion of these numbers was simply “a mistake”, rather than any sort of intentional Easter egg, but their temporary existence did provide The Last of Us with its own sexy, hidden moment for a time.

7. Moving The Shower In An Early Sims Game

In its early iterations The Sims did a pretty good job of removing anything that could be deemed a little risqué. Nudity, sex, and even most acts of violence were represented by near-as-dammit simulations that gave us just enough of an idea of what was going on, without making things too rough for a younger audience.

As with all games, however, nothing can stay clean and hidden forever. Enterprising gamers discovered a method for seeing full, uncensored nudity on their Sims by using a couple of sneaky techniques. The most surefire way of doing this involved switching modes to remove a shower unit while it was in use by one of the characters.

Admittedly the result is not entirely satisfactory if you’re looking for a full-frontal glimpse at your painstakingly-realized creations, as they don’t actually have the full spectrum of genitalia. It was more than enough for some players, however, and for a time it was the best way to get some naughty nudity in early Sims games.

6. Metal Gear Solid 4’s Photo Shoots

Metal Gear Solid has never been a series that tries to hide an outwardly sexual nature, and in truth there could quite easily be a list like this one filled with MGS moments alone. But, even with all of the pornographic guard posters and the naked Raidens, there were still a few sexy moments that took a bit of work to find.

One such moment appears in Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, and it involves playing the role of photographer in some raunchy photo shoots. The ‘Beauty and the Beast’ bosses could be photographed in beauty form, once players had managed to get them out of their beast suits.

If you wait for a while you’ll start to be able to run away from them in this form, and a few moments later you’ll find yourself taken to a white room where you can get behind the camera. If you drop and then re-equip the camera they will move to a new pose and repeating the trick will see them work through a full repertoire.

There have been reports of this sequence having negative effects on players aiming for a “no kill” game, however, so you’ll have to make your own decision as to whether a video game model is worth sacrificing all of that hard work for…

5. God Of War’s Sex Scene Mini-Game

In the original God of War game, a (slightly) hidden sequence in which players were able to send Kratos into a mini-game that involved the hero having sex with two women was found by a number of players. The mini-game immediately follows the cut-scene that finds Kratos on a ship in the midst of a stormy voyage on the seas.

Once the game play takes over again, players were able to turn back to the bed and engage in a mini-game that, with a few simply button presses, had Kratos jumping under the sheets with the two women. The scene plays out just off-camera, with only a rocking nightstand and an eventually smashing vase there to tease the imagination.

This mini-game became pretty famous at the time, and subsequent God of War titles have included similar scenes, albeit easier to find. These encounters are more obviously available now, and almost all of them play out with the same rhythmic button presses over a short time.

If only the real thing were so easy, eh folks?

4. Meryl’s Pantsless Metal Gear Solid Cutscene

We’ve already talked about one hidden moment in the Metal Gear Solid series, but of course there had to be others! In fact, what we have here are two little Easter eggs from the game’s very first installment. Each one involves Meryl, and takes just a little bit of work to find.

Firstly, during a sequence where you’re looking out of a ventilation shaft at Meryl and a DARPA chief that you rescued earlier. If you look just at Meryl during this time, then leave the vent and re-enter, you’ll see that Meryl is engaged in a new workout regime. Do this again and her workout will keep changing, but after a while this technique will see Meryl exercising the routine in her underpants.

Next you’ll find another way to engage with Meryl in just her underpants when you find Meryl dressed as a soldier in the warhead storage compound. When Meryl sees you and is startled like a guard, you have to follow her quickly but will find that when you enter the restroom after her the following cut scene will play out with her mid-change. Two for the price of one!

3. The Eventual Tomb Raider Nudity Mods

The legends around Tomb Raider games containing a way to see Lara Croft naked were famous among gamers for years, with so many players truly believing that the original game contained a way to see the heroine in the nude. This was, of course, never a real possibility.

Frustrated gamers weren’t to be deterred by this, however, and numerous mods sprung up to allow players to play as a naked Lara in the games. These mods were probably inevitable, given how strongly so many people felt about seeing Lara de-robed; we weren’t meant to find these moments because they quite simply weren’t supposed to exist.

Eidos Interactive did have a little fun of their own with the rumours and speculation before long, with a shower scene being included in Tomb Raider 2. The camera pans upward from Lara’s legs (and a perched shotgun) before she notices the player is watching and asks “Haven’t you seen enough?”.

She then grabs the gun and shoots the prying eyes right out of our heads. The shame of it all…

2. Discovering The SiN Hot Tub

In the original SiN game, the antagonist Elexis Sinclaire appears in one cut-scene – via a security camera feed – in a private hot tub. The scene itself is pretty raunchy, and players discover the video feed by entering a CCTV office within a late stage of the game.

This scene wasn’t all that players could get a look at, though, and there was a method by which you could actually make your way to the rooftop hot tub and see Elexis in the water for yourself. Using a cheat mode to clip through the walls and ceilings of the building could take you right to Elexis, who was actually rendered into the scene in-game.

What you’d find when you got there was even more shocking, however, and it appeared that Elexis was actually masturbating in the tub when you got there. This was alluded to in the scene that preceded on the security feed, but became plainly obvious when you got there to witness it all for yourself.

Since players aren’t supposed to be there Elexis does not react to your presence or stop, but one has to wonder whether the sexually-driven antagonist would actuallyhave stopped at this point anyway?

1. GTA: San Andreas’ ‘Hot Coffee’ Mod

Over a decade after the game release and ambitious hackers uncovered the now infamous mini-game, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas’ ‘Hot Coffee’ scene simply has to be the sexiest video game moment that we were never meant to find. The mini-game involved players entering their girlfriend’s home to have sex with them after a date, but it was removed from original versions of the game.

Hackers discovered the code for it within the game’s released version, however, and managed to mod their copies to make the scene playable. When news of this mod got out there was a massive controversy, and the backlash against the series’ developers was incredible – even Hilary Clinton lead the charge against Rockstar Games.

It’s perhaps no exaggeration to say that ‘Hot Coffee’ brought the issue of sex within video games to the public eye like never before, and this hidden mini-game is totally deserving of the top spot on this list.

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