t’s always a moment to behold when an old person finally snaps. They’re old and feeble, so they can’t argue or move around much, meaning the anger tends to build over time and explode in a fantastical way. Here are 10 stories of senior citizens wreaking havoc on those who’ve wronged them.
82-Year-Old Man Slashes Woman’s Tires at Bingo
In Florida, obviously, one Fred Smith was angered after 88-year-old Ethel Britt sat in his favorite bingo seat. As the story goes, Smith “stormed out of the weekly bingo game” and slashed ol’ Ethel’s tires with an ice pick.
Check out the Vine.
The old codger faces a fine of $500 for tire damage and restitution.
Man Kills Wife of 56 Years for “Nagging Him”
In April of last year, Jack Lang was having a bad day. His arthritis was acting up again, and his wife was calling him a “jerk off.”
In fact, his better half, June, had been calling him a “jerk off” for weeks. She also called him a “baby” and teased him about not being able to do household chores anymore, allegedly, according to the guy who shot his wife.
Jack told her to pipe down and probably “stop yer hollering,” but June kept going. One fateful night he walked up to June, who was legally blind, and held a .22 caliber revolver three inches from her face and pulled the trigger.
“She was nagging me,” he gave as an alibi.
Man Chokes Fiancee for Trash-Talking NASCAR
Last month an Indiana man was arrested on preliminary charges of domestic battery and strangulation. It all took place during the Indianapolis 500.
David Wilson, an apparent NASCAR aficionado, overheard his fiancee and another guest snarking about how IndyCar racing is superior to NASCAR. This just pissed him right off.
In a fit of vengeful NASCAR pride, Wilson put his hands around his fiancee’s neck and squeezed, pleading his case passionately. In the end, however, he was thrown in jail and lost the debate due to technicality.
Retired Cop Shoots Movie Theater Texter
That glow though.
Once again in the Sunshine State, a 71-year-old moviegoer shot a man who was texting in the row in front of him in January 2014. Curtis Reeves, an ex-police officer, went to theater management and told them of the texter, but they didn’t do anything. He went back and the arguing commenced.
A bit of popcorn was thrown and a bit of bullets were shot, and the victim, Chad Oulson, died instantly. Reeves then sat down in his chair and continued watching “Lone Survivor.”
He was arrested for second-degree homicide.
Octogenarian Plows Through Busy Farmers Market, Killing 10
In 2003, Santa Monica was traumatized. An 86-year-old man crashed through a crowd of hippies and vegans at the biweekly farmers market.
It all lasted 10 seconds. Going speeds of up to 60 miles per hour, George Weller sandwiched folks against shelves and rammed into pedestrians, injuring 63 along with the 10 killed. He received a guilty verdict on 10 counts of vehicular manslaughter.
The case started an international debate on whether elderly drivers are to be trusted.
Senior Arrested for Prostitution Ring in Elderly Home
“Vindictive” has many different definitions. One could argue this story reflects a hatred against mommy, as do many pimp cases. James Parham, 75, kept residents in a New Jersey housing complex under the harsh tyranny of his pimp hand in 2013.
“Essentially, they were prisoners in their own building,” the police chief said. Some seniors couldn’t even venture into certain parts of the complex because “they were afraid.”
Parham’s bottom bitch, 66-year-old Cheryl Chaney, was also arrested. And yes, he’d use seniors within the housing complex for his prostitution ring.
Old Lady Arrested for Starting a Food Fight at the McDonald’s of Old People: Golden Corral
Last year, a 69-year-old man cut in line at the salad bar. Polly Richards, thinking she’d already been through Vietnam, the Cuban Missile Crisis, and the death of Biggy, was not about to take anymore shit. She slapped the man and pushed him up against the wall.
Then plates of food went flying.
After police arrested her, Richards allegedly said, “Just take me to the fucking jail then.”
Man Lands Gyrocopter on Lawn of Capitol Building to “Deliver Mail” to Congressmen
You might’ve heard about that gyrocopter pilot who flew to the Capitol’s front lawn to deliver 535 letters to each congressman in April. Doug Hughes, 61, set sail from Gettysburg, Pennsylvania to Washington, D.C. in a symbolic rebellion against money’s nefarious influence on American politics.
Ironically, Hughes works for the U.S. Postal Service, and he himself said, “I’m only delivering the mail.” He is currently battling two felony charges and recently pled not guilty to both.
Geezer in Nightgown Shoots at Unmanned Police Vehicle
At 1:20 AM in Santa Fe, right before his morning breakfast, Scott Powell fired five rounds at the vehicle. Santa Fe had recently implemented unmanned vehicles into protocol to catch naughty drivers.
Watch video here.
Senior Swedish Couple Blasts Iron Maiden Until 4 AM for Revenge Against Loud Neighbors
“We wanted to give them a taste of their own medicine,” the husband said.
In 2013, an 81-year-old man and a 71-year-old woman were arrested for blaring “Afraid to Shoot Strangers” till 4 AM after hearing a “whistling sound” coming from next door. They put speakers on the balcony and in the basement for maximum annoyance.
Eventually the neighbor “broke down” and called the cops, meaning, the old people won.