Categories
List

10 THINGS WE’LL HOPEFULLY STOP TALKING ABOUT IN 2016

things we'll hopefully stop talking about in 2016, things to stop talking about in 2016, hipsters

The year 2015 was a hell of a time, wasn’t it? From the lowest of lows and highest of highs, at times it felt like the plot of a bad reality show. But we got through it. With it all behind us now, here are 10 things I hope we will all stop talking about in 2016.

Crybullies
things we'll hopefully stop talking about in 2016, things to stop talking about in 2016, crybullies
‘Twas quite the year for college activists across the nation. We witnessed the controversy at Mizzou, students at Yale and Amherst campaigning to end free speech, and even heated discussions over thecultural appropriation of fried chicken at Oberlin. What did these events have in common? Legions of fire-breathing, privileged kiddies having conniption fits over apparent nothings while attending to their higher educations in the richest country on Earth. Try walking five miles to fiddle with an abacus in Zimbabwe.

Several university presidents quit, which couldn’t have made the crybullies happier. It’s perhaps the only thing they celebrated — ruining other people’s lives. I say we campaign to build a safe space on Mars for these people. But then again, there would be no one on that planet for them to annoy.

Vine views
things we'll hopefully stop talking about in 2016, things to stop talking about in 2016, vine views
You made a six-second video on your phone and lots of high schoolers saw it. Good job. You can now tout the accomplishment of your lifelong dream on Twitter.

A Million Little Gender Identities
things we'll hopefully stop talking about in 2016, things to stop talking about in 2016, gender identities
I wanted to get with the times, so I changed my Facebook gender identity to “Cis Man.” But then I felt like I was oppressing people so I changed it to “Neither,” just to be safe. And then it notified everyone on my friends list, and now everyone thinks I’m just skin down there. Cripes. For the sake of education, here are a few genders you can subscribe to: neutrois (people who don’t identify with the binary gender system), transmasculine (a girl who identifies as masculine), two-spirit (a third gender entirely).

Breathe them in and make them part of your everyday diction, lest you become the most hated person on Tumblr.

Starbucks marketing strategies
things we'll hopefully stop talking about in 2016, things to stop talking about in 2016, starbucks marketing strategy
We saw two epic marketing blunders from Starbucks in 2015. Remember Race Together? In light of the events in Ferguson, CEO Howard Schultz thought it would be a great idea to encourage customers to open their hearts to the baristas, letting them soothe your soul with sage wisdom only a professional coffee-maker can deliver. Schultz was absolutely brutalized on social media, and the campaign was quickly disposed of.

And then there was the red cup. Boy, did this piss off Christians. It also pissed off fans of traditional Christmas to no end, but Schultz remained steadfast, probably because he’s used to being the brunt of hate. So the cups stayed red until late December.

Maybe, just maybe, serve coffee and lay off the social activism.

How “brave” celebrities are
things we'll hopefully stop talking about in 2016, things to stop talking about in 2016, celebrity pseudo bravery
In November, Amy Schumer posed for a photo almost entirely in the nude, save for undies and a pair of heels. The media universally praised her courage, and then she went back to making a gajillion dollars on a cozy Hollywood movie set while American soldiers are dying in the Middle East. What’s odd about this whole situation to me is that they praised her for being unapologetically portly. In a sense, this is either fat-shaming, or fatsploitation. Either way, it’s bad.

Kanye gaffes
things we'll hopefully stop talking about in 2016, things to stop talking about in 2016, kanye gaffes
We are no strangers to Kanye’s antics. Some of us are even jaded by them. That’s why it came as no surprise when he leaped on the stage to tell Beck he sucks and that Beyoncé deserves every award in the world. Yeezy said Beck needs to “respect artistry,” implying that Beck didn’t use his musical virtuoso to create every track on his album. “He should’ve given his award to Beyoncé.”

Kanye, the president called you a jackass. Time to cool it.

Tween speak
things we'll hopefully stop talking about in 2016, things to stop talking about in 2016, tween speak
Bae. Based. On fleek. Turnt up. Yaasss. I can’t even.

People who said mean things on social media
things we'll hopefully stop talking about in 2016, things to stop talking about in 2016, mean social media
Listen up, journalists. There’s no need to report that someone living in his mom’s basement in rural Nebraska said that Hillary’s a “crazy old bat” on Twitter. It’s not news. It’s sad to say, but inevitable, that the mainstream media is going the way of McDonald’s — losing credibility by the second for peddling junk.

Transracial people
things we'll hopefully stop talking about in 2016, things to stop talking about in 2016, transracial people
In July, shortly after Caitlyn’s big reveal, a self-identified black lady heading the NAACP in Spokane came under scrutiny for actually being white. In the same month, a Black Lives Matter activist named Shaun King (who was the recipient of a scholarship meant for African-American students) was outed for being paler than a marshmallow.

Today, Rachel Dolezal does hair at a salon and Shaun King is getting raked through the coals for alleged plagiarism.

Hipsters
things we'll hopefully stop talking about in 2016, things to stop talking about in 2016, hipsters
Hipsters are played out. I got on VICE the other day and saw that they had a total of six articles about hipsters on their homepage. In one afternoon. Let’s cut the malarky: Hipsters aren’t hip anymore. They reached their apex in 2014, and now they’re a lost cultural relic. Which probably makes them even more cool.

Dammit. Hipsters are gonna love this news.

Source

10 THINGS WE’LL HOPEFULLY STOP TALKING ABOUT IN 2016

One reply on “10 THINGS WE’LL HOPEFULLY STOP TALKING ABOUT IN 2016”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

​​HIGH OCTANE INTERNET CHAOS
More Boobs - Less Politics ​​

And Now... A Few Links From Our Sponsors