11 Movie Sequels You Never Knew Existed

clearchoiceshop - Copy Hollywood loves a sequel, even if the audience doesn’t always agree. Here’s a handful of would-be franchise expanders that didn’t come anywhere near duplicating the success of their predecessors.

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A Christmas Story 2: My Summer Story
Being a Hollywood producer doubtless has its risks, but at least you won’t shoot your eye out if you make a sadly subpar and utterly unnecessary sequel to a beloved holiday classic. Our proof lies in My Summer Story, the long-delayed follow-up to A Christmas Story. Originally titled It Runs in the Family, this 1994 release did have a couple ties to the original (most importantly, it was based on stories by Jean Shepherd, who returned to provide narration). But given that the entire cast was too old to reprise their roles, a whole new set of stars had to be moved in, including Charles Grodin and Mary Steenburgen. Reviews weren’t entirely unkind, but the film’s box office gross, which totaled less than $71,000, speaks for itself.

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Legally Blondes
After 2003’s Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde, Reese Witherspoon was just about done with the character of bimbo-turned-lobbyist Elle Woods. But after watching the franchise continue without her with the successful Legally Blonde stage musical, she took the reins once more as producer of this 2009 direct-to-DVD spinoff. The most interesting (and sad) thing about the movie is the involvement of director “Savage” Steve Holland, whose once-proud filmography kicked off with the John Cusack classic Better Off Dead. Here, viewers watch as Elle’s twin cousins move into her old house and…you know what? It really isn’t worth talking about the plot. Suffice it to say that small dogs and a life lesson in the final act are involved.

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Ace Ventura, Jr.
More than a decade after Jim Carrey exited the Ace Ventura franchise, someone got the bright idea to continue the series without him by attempting to tell the story of his lookalike kid, who gets mixed up in solving some pet-related wrongdoings after Ace Sr. flies the coop. It’s a horrible idea for a sequel, even one that went direct to video, and it was greeted with all the commercial indifference and critical scorn you might expect. If it had arrived in the ’90s, you probably would have seen it at your favorite Blockbuster. Alas, by the late aughts, it could only gather dust on the loneliest DVD rack at your local Best Buy.

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WarGames: The Dead Code
Unlike a lot of technologically-driven films, WarGames remains a pretty solid little action thriller, not least because it boasts the combined talents of Matthew Broderick, Ally Sheedy, Dabney Coleman, and Barry Corbin. None of the above returned for the wholly lamentable WarGames: The Dead Code, which tried to duplicate the teen hacker excitement of the original by essentially copying the plot…right down to the reintroduction of WarGames senior computer wiz Stephen Falken (played here by Gary Reineke, who did not play the character in the original). Needless to say, these new WarGames had no winners.

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Addams Family Reunion
Seeking to reboot the Addams Family franchise in the late ’90s, Fox decided to start it over again as a new TV show with a new cast—and then filmed Addams Family Reunion, which was supposed to serve as the pilot even though it had different stars. Confused yet? Just be glad you aren’t Tim Curry or Darryl Hannah, both of whom somehow ended up roped into this alternately unfunny and offensive alleged “comedy.” Aside from a storyline that involves members of the family developing “Waltzheimer’s disease,” which makes them normal, highlights include a love story for Lurch and a mutant puppy who eats hair. The New Addams Family exited the airwaves after a two-season run, and there have been no subsequent reunions since.

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Road House 2: Last Call
There are definitely people in the world who would argue that Patrick Swayze’s Road House is a classic. It’s hard to imagine, though, that many of them would go so far as to say we needed a sequel, let alone one starring Johnathon Schaech (veteran of similarly misbegotten sequels such as Poison Ivy II and 8mm2). Schaech stars as Swayze’s character’s son, a DEA agent who ends up running his uncle’s club after a local drug kingpin beats him half to death. If you’re guessing that the kid ultimately discovers that the kingpin is the same bad guy who murdered his dad, then you’re a step ahead of the target audience for Road House 2: Last Call.

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Tooth Fairy 2
You’re setting a pretty low bar for comedy when you hire Dwayne Johnson to run around in a tutu, but even when it’s held up against the relaxed standards set by the original Tooth Fairy, its little-seen sequel is an ordeal. Johnson obviously wasn’t coming back for another round, so the producers hired Larry the Cable Guy on the assumption that, like the Rock, he’d provoke laughs simply by strapping on fairy wings. It didn’t work. And neither did hiring a pig as one of Larry’s co-stars.

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Hollow Man 2
If you remember the Kevin Bacon thriller Hollow Man at all, it’s probably because it had some pretty nifty special effects for its time. The story, meanwhile, was just okay: a sinister variation on H.G. Wells’ The Invisible Man, with more modern overtones and a lot more screaming and running around in the final act. All of which is to say that no one was looking for a low-budget, direct-to-video sequel that skimped on the effects and starred Christian Slater instead of Bacon.

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Splash, Too
If you’re under the age of 30, you may not remember that the major networks often set aside a couple hours of programming for a “movie of the week.” And even if you do remember those days, you’ve most likely forgotten Splash, Too, Disney’s attempt to cobble together a sequel to its hit mermaid rom-com starring Tom Hanks and Darryl Hannah. With neither Hanks nor Hannah affordable enough for a TV movie, the studio almost completely overhauled the cast, leaving Dody “Mrs. Stimler” Goodman as the lone holdover. Originally broadcast as a two-part event, Splash, Too has been all but forgotten. Even the reissue fanatics at Disney haven’t gotten around to putting it out on DVD or Blu-ray.

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National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie’s Island Adventure
Cousin Eddie, the braying hick who drove Clark crazy in a pair of National Lampoon’s Vacation movies, could be fairly funny in limited doses. Naturally, this was all the justification the studio needed for basing an entire Vacation movie around Eddie after Chevy Chase and Beverly D’Angelo were finished with the franchise. The horribly titled National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie’s Island Adventure starts with Eddie losing his job to a monkey and goes downhill from there, with “star” Randy Quaid huffing and puffing his way through a series of increasingly lame pratfalls. Maybe the movie would’ve turned out better if they just replaced Quaid with a monkey altogther.

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Bachelor Party 2: The Last Temptation
Studios cranked out a ton of sex comedies in the ’80s, and 1984’s Bachelor Party would have been just another one of them if its star, Tom Hanks, hadn’t gone on to superstardom later in the decade. More than 20 years later, Fox tried making lightning strike twice with Bachelor Party 2: The Last Temptation. It was a sequel in name only that gathered up another group of stock character types to mug for the cameras in between gratuitous topless shots. Sadly for the studio, the next Hanks doesn’t seem to have been in the cast, but that doesn’t mean we won’t hear about a Bachelor Party 3 in 2032.


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