You’ll get stuck listening to talk radio because your friends immediately passed out.
You’ll start hallucinating because you washed your NoDoze down with coffee.
You’ll get pulled over by the only cop in small town #342.
It will take you two hours to travel two miles in a horrendous traffic jam.
And then it will just inexplicably clear up because people are idiots who can’t merge.
World War III will break out in the front seat when someone attempts to fast forward “Don’t Fear The Reaper.”
The fast food burger you scarfed in Wichita will come back as a shart that will haunt you until your dying day.
You’ll waste 30 minutes embroiled in a debate about why picking up that hotter-than-average hitchhiker at the gas station isn’t a good idea.
People with sexy scruff can still be axe murderers: FACT.
You’ll be forced to take shelter at a Jack In The Box when the air conditioning suddenly craps out in the middle of Arizona.
You’ll have to make a 45-minute U-turn when someone realizes they left their wallet in the booth at said Jack In The Box.
You’ll do the responsible thing and stop at a crappy motel for the night. And someone will key the rental car.
Caught up in an intense conversation about who’ll be the next to die in Game of Thrones, you’ll totally miss the exit and end up in god-knows-where, population: creepy.