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11 Thoughts Women Have When Someone Is Going Down On Them

If you haven’t already jumped on the cunnilingus bandwagon, you’re missing out. (And your girlfriend probably wonders what’s wrong with you — just saying bro.) With more and more movies being brave enough to feature oral sex that’s performed on a woman (as opposed to a bobbing head on her knees, like most movies), the subject of going down on a girl is one that’s only getting started.

There’s something pretty powerful about knowing how to properly go down on a woman you care about. Not only does taking the time to truly get to know what gets her hot, what makes her moan and what will get her from A to Z with your tongue, fingers and movement sexy, but it shows her how much you personally care about her orgasm. But here’s the kicker that most men don’t realize: as easy it is for you to sit back, relax, close your eyes and let her please you with her mouth… there’s a lot more going on in her head than you realize. (Okay, you know that already since she can talk about 100 topics and balance everything without missing a beat and you struggle with brushing your teeth before bed, but we digress.)

If you’ve ever peered up at her while going down on her and wondered what was going through that beautiful brain that made you fall in love with her (along with the breasts that are a wonderful view too), consider your questions answered. We talked to women about what they think about while their partners are going down on them and what they say might just surprise you — and give you some much-needed pointers on how to make oral sex even hotter for her.

A FEW HOURS BEFORE

“Even if there is just a slim chance that my boyfriend will be going down on me later, I start thinking about it hours before,” says Katie from Boston. And it’s not because she’s day-dreaming about that tongue-tango: it’s actually about hygiene. “My friends and I actually have had many conversations on how to stay fresh down there before someone’s mouth is going to be on it. With sweat and using the bathroom, it’s not always a sexy place and I want to make sure it’s a good experience for him when he’s doing something intimate like that.”

If you notice your girlfriend always has “to pee really quick!” when you get home from a night out together, it might not be the case. She might be freshening up with oils, soap or changing underwear (for you to take off in about five minutes). So even if the waiting game kind of gets to you sometimes, let her do it. She knows how to make sure you enjoy what she has to offer, so don’t rush her. Your nose and mouth will thank you.

WHEN YOU START TO KISS

“When my husband and I are starting to kiss and his hands inevitably start to wander south, I can feel myself start to get instantly wet,” says Vicki from Chicago. “I don’t know if it’s the mix between the kissing and the touching or just that I’m so attracted to him, but when he begins to trail his hands and trail his mouth down my body, I know the oral sex is coming and I begin to get turned on.”

WHEN YOU TRY TO START THAT TOO SOON

When you’re really in the mood to get a blow job, you just want one. You might need a little bit of hand action to get everything working properly, but more often than not, you just want to feel her mouth on you. Women are a little different: “Sometimes my boyfriend likes to rush past the fingering and try to go down on me so we can start having sex sooner and I hate that,” Katie says. “I need him to start with his hands, kiss me slowly, then get it moving faster and faster until he surprises me by going down on me. When he moves too fast, I lose my interest.”

WHEN YOU’RE PULLING OFF HER UNDERWEAR

Even though they’ve been married for many years, Vicki says she still loves that her husband gets turned on taking off her underwear. “He has undressed me at least 1,000 times in our marriage, I’m sure. But when I watch him take off my underwear with that look in his eyes that he’s definitely going to go down on me and make me come, I feel so attracted to him,” she says. You might not know if you get a special look in your eyes for your going-down face, but taking the time to remove her panties slowly and sensually will show her that you want to make sure she is having the best, most sensual time with you in the bedroom.

WHEN YOU FIRST START GOING DOWN ON HER

“The first couple of strokes with his tongue sends shocks through my body and it’s kind of this ‘Oh yeah, I remember that’ feeling,” Michelle from Nashville says. “It’s not that I forget it, but I’m not always in the mood to do oral sex and can sometimes be a little stand offish with it, but the second his tongue touches me, I get really into it. It feels very soft, wet and intense.”

WHEN YOU ADD YOUR FINGERS

Most women will enjoy having both fingering and oral sex at the same time, and that combination will be what gets them to finish, instead of just one or the other. “I really start getting into oral sex when my husband starts fingering and rubbing my clit while he uses his tongue too,” Ashley from New York says. “I need the thrusting and the licking to really orgasm, and feeling him inside of me reminds me of him being inside of me and gets me turned on.”

WHEN IT’S BEEN GOING ON FOR A WHILE

Though most men can have an orgasm from oral sex in a few minutes, for women, it can be up to 15 minutes to achieve the full, amazing explosion. But even though women are great at multitasking, they also can start to feel guilty that they’re not finishing soon enough. “I feel bad when it’s taking a long time and I know he must be tired, but I’m not even close,” Vicki says. “This causes me to think and then I lose it and then we have to start all the way back from square one.” You can help her with this by asking her what she needs more of and reminding her that however long it takes, you’ll do what she needs to feel sexy.

WHEN IT’S NOT EXACTLY WORKING

“Sometimes, even if he’s doing everything right, I’m just so in my own head that I can’t get out of it to orgasm,” Katie says. “I might get distracted by something or be worrying about how much time I have left to sleep or want to hurry up and get to sex already. This is when I start reminding myself to ‘focus’ on my breath so I can finish and we can both have a good time.” If you notice that she isn’t looking down at you or is looking at the ceiling or closing her eyes, she’s likely trying to hold on to the parts that feel good so she can fully enjoy her orgasm.

WHEN YOU HIT THE MONEY SPOT

“There are times when my husband is going down on me and he finally gets the exactly right motion and rhythm and I tell him not to move,” Vicki says. “I actually scream it most of the time, and in those moments, if he moves a little bit, it’s all over. That’s when I really want him to just listen to me and keep doing exactly what he’s doing.” Yeah, there’s a reason she’s telling you not to stop, so whatever you do, don’t stop.

WHEN SHE ORGASMS

When she finishes, most women report feeling very warm and even a little light-headed from the blood rushing to their head. “When I’m coming from oral sex, it’s so much more intense than with intercourse because I was so stimulated from his hands and mouth,” Ashley says. “I sometimes get a little dizzy because I’m releasing all the tension I was holding while he was going down on me.”

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