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11 WTF Stories Behind Fake Genitals In Movies

Even when you’re with a loving partner who knows your specific quirks, sex can be awkward. So you better believe that when you pay two near-strangers to pretend to bump uglies after knowing each other for a few days things get weird. Though Hollywood is filled with fake sex scenes, the stories behind those steamy moments are often all too real, and they can make for some pretty amusing reads. That’s where we come in.

From merkins that were painstakingly created to fit into a fictional world to prothetic penises so complicated they caused experienced actors to give them a double take, below are some of the craziest stories about fake onscreen nudity. Some of these stories are surprisingly emotional. Some are ever sad. More than you would think are hilarious. But there’s one thing all of these tales of mishandled privates and accidental flashings prove time and time again: Being an actor is a really weird job.

Scroll below and be thankful that you only have to worry about your own genitals and not whatever the props department and an over-eager director have developed.

Dirk Diggler’s famous asset in ‘Boogie Nights’ wasn’t real

©New Line Cinema/Courtesy Evere

It makes sense that a movie about the porn industry would give birth to arguably the most famous prosthetic in cinematic history. Dirk Diggler’s (Mark Wahlberg) penis is such a big part of the Paul Thomas Anderson film, it’s practically its own character. But it took a couple of tries to get that member just right.

According to special makeup effects supervisor Howard Berger, the team originally sculpted a prosthetic that was 12 inches long, but that didn’t work. “It looked just like a weird monster penis,” he said in an oral history for Grantland. “The next one was seven inches; that was the penis we went with. We took a pattern around that area around the penis and tied that lace piece and matched the color to Mark’s hair. That was the final thing. We spent two weeks making the penises.”

Alison Pill thought her fake boobs in ‘Zoom’ were pretty funny

Photo: Colombia Pictures

OK, it’s obvious to everyone that Alison Pill’s breasts in the sci-fi comedy Zoom are fake. But Pill really seems to like the creative choice.

“They’re massive breasts, truly beyond I think, I hope – most pornography. They’re absurd,” the actress said in an interview on The Late Show with James Corden. “At this point, the absurdity of so many fake breasts is such that you have to go pretty darn far.”

Jason Schwartzman showed his fake penis in ‘The Overnight’ to the wrong person

Photo: The Orchard

If you’ve seen The Overnight, then you’re probably a little relieved to know that both Jason Schwartzman and Adam Scott used a very big and a very tiny prosthetic penises. However, Schwartzman’s love of his fake dong led to a deeply uncomfortable moment.

While promoting the movie on Conan, the actor told a story about how he took several pictures of himself wearing the fake penis to send to his wife. Several days later, he tried to show his daughter’s principal pictures of his baby. Yeah, you know where this is going. The star showed off his faux dong to the educator, which honestly sounds like the premise to The Overnight’s sequel.

Penelope Cruz loved her prosthetic butt in ‘Volver’

©Sony Pictures/Courtesy Everett

Sometimes a prothetic can become more than just a sight gag or a sexy addition. It can become something that emotionally connects an actor to their character. That’s exactly what happened to Penelope Cruz in Volver, a film that featured Cruz outfitted in a fake butt.

“At the end of the shoot, I was blocked. I could not leave the set. I didn’t want to take my false ass off,” the actress said in an interview with CBC News. A lot of her trepidation in removing the butt came from how much she loved the character of Raimunda. The actress says she was “a disaster” after the film.

John Cena used a prosthetic in ‘Trainwreck’ but he has nothing to be embarrassed about

Photo: Universal Pictures

There’s a lot of hilarious moments in Trainwreck, but some of the best jokes in this Amy Schumercomedy surprisingly come from her muscle-headed sex buddy, played by John Cena. Whether or not the movie really showed the outline of Cena’s penis has been a subject of debate, so Schumer cleared some things up for E! Long story short, the erection scene uses a prosthetic, but Cena did bare it all on set.

“He’s huge,” Schumer said. “People just gasped.”

‘Blue Is the Warmest Color’ used so many fake vaginas

©IFC Films/Courtesy Everett Col

The sex in the NC-17 French film Blue Is the Warmest Color is exhausting, so it probably comes as no surprise that the movie used a lot of prosthetics. “We had fake pussies on. You have something to protect and tape it under,” Léa Seydoux told IndieWire. “I don’t make love on screen. We can fake these things, you can’t fake feelings, but you can fake body language.”

But as steamy as the results are, filming them took an excruciating amount of work. The actress says at one point she had to fake her orgasm for six hours. “Of course it was kind of humiliating sometimes, I was feeling like a prostitute. Of course, [director Abdellatif Kechiche] uses that sometimes,” she said.

Chris Hemsworth thought his giant package in ‘Vacation’ was “intimidating”

Photo: Warner Bro. Pictures

If you know anything about Vacation, the 2015 comedy that attempts to resurrect the National Lampoon franchise, you probably know that Chris Hemsworth is in it. And he comes really close to showing everything.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the giant package wasn’t a true representation of the gifts God gave the Thor star. But surprisingly, the scene made Hemsworth pretty nervous. “It was embarrassing,” Hemsworth said in an interview with E!. “It was hilarious and probably more for other people than me… I was intimidated by that set and scene.”

David Fincher was really into Rooney Mara’s merkin in ‘Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’

©Columbia Pictures/Courtesy Eve

It’s not shocking to learn that director David Fincher obsessed about a small detail on one of his movies. What is shocking is knowing how much he cared about Lisbeth’s vagina in Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

According to actor Rooney Mara, “a lot of discussion” went into designing her merkin. But it seems as though Fincher and his team were more concerned with authenticity rather than sexiness. “In the book she’s meant to have strawberry-blonde hair originally and she dyes it,” she said. “So we had a special merkin made that was, you know, strawberry-blonde so that it would fit.”

Daniel Radcliffe’s magic penis in ‘Swiss Army Man’ was really intense

Photo: A24

Daniel Radcliffe is a man who knows his way around a special effects scene. But the compass penis in Swiss Army Man was daunting effect even for him.

“The way the penis moves in the film, it was based on an animal called the tapir who have penises which are prehensile and can move around,” the star said in an interview with Metro. “Normally all of the animatronic stuff we had on Harry Potter most were controlled by a guy with a little remote control. This for some reason was controlled by two gigantic levers that were on the side of the set that a guy was wrenching around to operate. Much hilarity was had with the animatronic penis.”

Amy Landecker named her ‘70s bush in ‘A Serious Man’ “Cousin Itt”

©Focus Features/Courtesy Everet

When the Coen brothers commit to doing something, they’re dedicated to getting it right. That applies to the bleak cheerfulness of the midwest as well as ‘70s pubic hair, apparently. That latter topic came up while the directors were making A Serious Man, a comedic drama that sees Amy Landecker playing a free-loving neighbor.

“The first person who called me was the costume designer. And she told me, ‘Stop waxing,’ and I did,” Landecker told IndieWire. Even after she stopped waxing, the team still decided to go with a merkin because the hair wouldn’t grow in correctly. Landecker nicknamed the prop “Cousin Itt.”

 

Will Ferrell’s fake package in ‘Step Brothers’ cost $10,000

©Columbia Pictures/Courtesy Eve

If you’ve only seen the TV-edit of Step Brothers, then you’re missing a graphic and hilarious scene. In the middle of a fight, Bennan (Will Ferrell) runs upstairs to wipe his testicles on Dale’s (John C. Reilly) drum kits. The camera doesn’t look away as he does just that.

Not only did that particular prop allegedly cost $10,000, but it’s one of the keepsakes Ferrell kept from the movie. “I will often bring [the testicles] out at dinner parties that we host,” Ferrell said in an interview.

 

 

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