12 College Students Describe Their Awkward Roommate Stories

When you move off to college, you’re in for countless new experiences and changes in life. Some of those experiences aren’t things you’ll find in a college pamphlet, though. They’re more…disturbing to say the least. And they’ll inevitably come at the hands of the person you’re around the most — your college roommate.

1. david-me — Did…did anyone SAY something about this?

I had a roommate whose girlfriend was a bit of an exhibitionist and she used to walk around the apartment buck naked whenever I had girls over.

2. azazelsnutsack — “Cool have a good crank.”

Never lived in a dorm, but I did share barracks and squad bays with other 18-20 year olds

Lots of masturbation. Lots and lots of it. Also, no shame.

“Hey what are you doing later?”

“Gonna go jack off real quick”

“Oh, uh okay then, have fun”

This would be a converstation that would take place many times a day.

3. RikVanguard — Glad he didn’t go with option 1.


My roommate (we went to high school together and were/are great friends, it that matters) and his girlfriend had sex in our room with me in it. It was Halloween, they were both pretty drunk and they thought I was asleep. I was not. As soon as I heard sheets rustling and faint grunting, I texted my best friend and asked him what to do. He gave me two options: * Start masturbating. Loudly.
* blare I Just Had Sex as soon as they were done.
So I went on youtube, queued the song up and cranked the volume on my phone. About 30 seconds later, he was done and I hit play. As soon as he heard it, neither of us could contain ourselves. Our laughter lasted longer than he did with her.
She was absolutely mortified tho. And still doesn’t like me.

4. lordmax86 — You really shoulda bought like, a TV.

Freshman year I was in a forced triple. Not really a problem didn’t even really see one of my room mates except for at night. The room was split up so that I shared a bunk bed with one room mate and the other room mate basically had a bunk bed but instead of a lower bunk he had a desk. Anyway it was still early days maybe a month or two into the semester and I wake up to hear some weird crinkling noises. Not knowing whats up I roll over and open my eyes. The only light on in the room is the little lamp across the way, and I all I can see is my 6’5″ tall black football player room mate watching me. In his boxers. While shoveling handfuls of cheetos into his mouth. He would pull a handful out of the bag while maintaining eye contact with me and just shove them into his mouth.

5. DirichletIndicator — This one might win the awkward award.

One year of awkward silence?

I never spoke to my freshman roommate. We met, we said hello, we spent about two days trying to befriend each other, it quickly became clear that we didn’t particularly get along, and then we just, kind of, you know…

Literally, this is not an exaggeration, the only communication we had after the first few days was “do you mind if I turn out the lights” every day, one time he apologized for keeping me up by playing loud drinking games with his friends, calling each other a few times because we got locked out, and one time, literally one time, we had a conversation, a real one, that lasted about an hour. Other than that it was just awkward silence for two semesters.

There was no animosity, we just never had much to talk about so we never did and then eventually it felt weird acknowledging each other at all. I spent two semesters trying not to draw attention to myself in my own bedroom, rarely making eye contact, always knowing that there was essentially a stranger watching me.

I have seen him on campus a few times since, we still just try to avoid making eye contact. Just like old times. It’s the most awkward relationship I’ve ever had with a human being

6. tatonkaman156 — People gotta crank.

He masturbates constantly. He always seems to wake up before me and is going at it until I move and let him know I’m up. If I leave the room, forget something, and come back less than a minute later, he’s going at it. Also several times a night. I once woke up at 12, 3, 4, 7, and 9 and he was jerking it every time. And he has the top bunk.

7. K1Dicarus — Hahaha.

My roomate thought I was gone to class. But I actually stayed home becasue I wasn’t feeling good. So he starts singing out loud with effort Justin Beiber – Baby. After about a minute of him seriously trying to sing, I join in and help him out with the chourus. He hears me, realizes I’m home. And all I hear after that was fast footsteps and his door shut.

8. WPFIII — No, you ate it.

I ate a pop tart he left out and when he asked me about it I denied it. But he knew.

I’m so sorry Steve

9. MessedupMakeup — You’re allergic to your roommate masturbating.

I woke up in the middle of the night and my roommate was masturbating. I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep and hoped that that would be enough to make her stop. She didn’t stop. I rolled over again. She calls out “Are you awake?” and I didn’t want to reply and embarrass her so I don’t say anything. She starts up again. About a minute later I commence the largest coughing fit the world has ever known. It was always awkward after that.

10. brodoyouevenscript — Ahh, the college life.


I got super drunk and slept walked to the bathroom. He thought I was throwing up and came to check it out. Turns out I was naked, my ass facing the bathroom sink, bent over with my dick tucked between my legs pissing into the open cabinet all over all the shit we had down there. When asked what I was doing, I replied “stop looking at my balls.” and just went back to bed like nothing happened.

11. onki_donkey — That’s more ‘shitty’ than awkward.

Having both of my roommates “temporarily” move their significant others into our tiny apartment. It’s been two years now, and neither couple has offered to reduce my rent load.

12. IsHomestuckAnAnime — “He tripped and stumbled upon my face”

Just earlier this year I walked in on my mormon roommate with a mouthful of dick. She had spent hours explaining to me why oral or anal sex is against the bible just a week before, so I naturally found this hilarious.

I left, let her finish or whatever and when I cam back all she had to say was that “It wasn’t what it looked like”.

Please wait...

And Now... A Few Links From Our Sponsors