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Super veiny forearms

Why is this so attractive? Is it a weird thing about strength, like looking for a primal ability? I don’t know. All I know is that veiny arms are an often talked about “I know this is weird, but he has—” thing at the happy hour table in the infamous “is he cute?” conversation of girl mythology.

Being built like a reinforced box

Last time I checked, no one says that their ideal partner looks like a muscular version of a bear on its hind legs. Yet…we girls manage to be strangely attracted to built-up brolic meat-heads. Even when muscles are just sort of there without being defined, the stocky pseudo-Dad-bod still works sometimes. I don’t know what it is, but dudes who are swoll for no reason are unreasonably attractive.

Copious amounts of chest hair

 

Dudes love cleavage, and girls love…hair cleavage? I feel like this was an ’80s thing that we never truly got over. A full chest of hair peeking ever-so-slightly out of a v-neck is kind of the best. And as long as it’s not sparse and weird where we can see it, the rest of those straggly nipple hairs might even get a pass.

Gnarly scars

I’m going to go ahead and blame Disney for conditioning us to love wounded heroes. Even though the scars weren’t explicit on anyone else but Scar from The Lion King, we all got the vibe that dudes like Aladdin and the boyfriend from Mulan weren’t without their wounds and stories. Maybe this is a primal thing? I don’t know, but teenage me was 95 percent less attracted to Nelly when I found out his trademark face bandage was just for show. So, there’s that.

Intense facial hair

Oddly enough, dudes aren’t attracted to me when I grow out my mustache. But scruff, even the out-of-hand, lumberjack kind, is the stuff of girly dreams. On a personal level, I don’t understand that. But many of my friends want nothing more than a dude who has more hair concentrated on his chin than anywhere else.

Callused hands

This has got to be a matter of survival of the fittest, but “mechanic hands” are sexy in a gross way that I wish was less common. Personally, I’d love for guys to be more groomed. Manicured, even. But then I see a nice set of rough hands and all of the sudden I’m a damsel in distress. Damnit, brain.

Bushy eyebrows

It wouldn’t be fair for the eyebrow game to be monopolized by women, would it? Just kidding, it is. While I love manicured and perfectly thick eyebrows on myself, I find myself oddly attracted to certain guys whose eyebrows take over their face with reckless abandon. I don’t love a full unibrow, but many girls find just the right style of unruly eyebrows attractive on a cute guy’s mug. Maybe we’re all just really turned on by Frida Kahlo. Could be a thing.

Prematurely grey hair

S-s-s-salt N’ Peppa is here, and we’re—about to tell you about your Daddy issues? JK. “Daddy issues” is a blanket, annoying term used all too often when describing why women feel a certain type of way about a dude. When it comes to prematurely grey hair, it’s all aesthetics. I fully believe this has nothing to do with age, and everything to do with the fact that a guy who can work some silver strands is just…a fox. Simple as that.

Gravelly murderer voices

As much as we love a sweet crooner like Frank Ocean or literally anyone else who sounds wonderful and like a kind individual, many of us broads love nothing more than a perpetual sore throat. Yeah, like you’re coming down with something. Or just like you’ve smoked for 200 years. This will probably result in my letting a serial killer into my home. Just kidding. I hope.

Dorky lankiness

Unfortunately, I am prone to being attracted to men who resemble Gumby. Total string-beans. Men with juuuust the right amount of lean muscle, who look as if they could lift a smooth 15 library books at once. Glasses are a bonus.

Large necks

This one is especially weird, but it’s a thing. I’ve heard too many girls describe their love for dudes who resemble prize-winning horses. It’s like, another level of muscle-head.

Extra fluff all around

Of course, not all girls love a lanky dude. Many just want a jolly looking guy, one with a paunch verging on Santa Claus territory. You know, a guy looks like he could pick you up with one arm while holding a pizza in the other. Love is weird, and is best enjoyed by those who think more is…the most. Give me a call, Hallmark. Here whenever you’re ready for me.

Guys, do you have any of these gross yet attractive features? Do you OWN them?

Girls, did I miss any weird yet attractive features that need mentioning?

12 Normally Gross Features Women Actually Find Attractive On Men

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