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12 Of The Most Legendary Fuck-ups People Ever Witnessed

 

Probably not the biggest fuck up but the one that comes to mind. Driving with my boyfriend when we see the car in front of us start to swerve back and forth a bit. See the driver clearly taking selfies of some sort and had time to comment on it before the car plows into a mailbox. Not a cheap one but a solidly planted thick wooden base one.
We pulled over and jumped out to make sure they were ok as they were going about 45 mph. Come up to the door and its some teenage guy taking in his bent hood and smashed windshield. Do the standard “are you ok? Do we need to call someone” only for him to reply “no, my parents should be close behind and they’re going to kill me”. Apparently they had just bought him his first car and they were on their way home from the dealer.

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A public company I worked for got phished out of $500k. They apparently received a wire request via email thinking it was from one of our foreign subsidiaries, but it was actually a Chinese scammer. Someone didn’t confirm the request, the CFO signed off on the wire, and we blew $500k out of our ass.

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I was in a long line to let my little fishing boat in at a launch in Michigan. The guy in front of me was with friends, and going on about his brand new 32 foot boat (looked like a yacht). He was only putting it in this lake to test it out before he took it out to the bay. As they continued to dote over the boat, they kept removing all the tie-downs…and the winch strap. As they got to the ramp, they pulled forward and straightened out the trailer. As he started to back up, he tapped the brakes and the beautiful, brand new, pristine boat slid off the trailer…onto the concrete ramp. It then slid about 20 feet or more down the rough concrete ramp into the water. Everyone was just standing there in disbelief. And to make it even better, the momentum of the slide carries the boat out into the lake. Someone that was in the water was nice enough to ferry him out to his mistake.

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I worked at a car wash. We had add-on services people could get. One was Armor-All. $5 per region. A guy came in and ordered a full interior and exterior Armor-All on his brand new truck. He had King’s Ranch seats, so our salesmen didn’t add that charge, as we generally didn’t Armor-All them. King’s Ranch is a type of suede that’s generally a really pretty tan color and super soft. It costs about $3500 for them. Armor-All is essentially a grease that makes leather and vinyl shiny.
When he got back to his finished car, he pitched a fit because we didn’t Armor-All his seats. We explained that he didn’t pay for that charge, and we wouldn’t, in good-conscience, do it. So he threw a huge fit, screaming and cursing and insisting to talk to the manager. We all tried to talk him out of it, but he wouldn’t budge. My boss was a dick, so finally he said, “Fuck it. Do it. In fact, do it for free.” So we did. I felt like I was committing a mortal sin rubbing greasy solution all over these beautiful suede seats, but the customer is always right, eh?
The guy walked back to his truck after it was finished with a smug look of satisfaction, until he looked at his seats and his entire face dropped and turned ghostly white. I said “Anything else I can do for you?” In shock, he said, “H…how do I fix this?” I told him, “Get it Armor-Alled a few more times to even out the color, but it’ll never be the same again. Sorry. This is why we tried to talk you out of it.” Sweating and shaking, he just said, “Uh, thanks.” and drove off.

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On a two-lane road (one way and the other way with the double lines) a person behind me got pissed at my speed and passed me up by going into the oncoming lane. What the person failed to realize was that I was going the speed limit because the sheriff was in front of me. This dude ends up passing both of us and the police lights come on instantly. I like to think that the sheriff just looked at him with a deadpan face then turned the lights on.

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At a bar in a beach town over the summer. A drunk twenty something gets kicked out by the bouncers. This bar can get rowdy and it’s right across from the police station, so there’s usually a cop around.
Now, I’ve been kicked out of this bar before after I got too drunk after a breakup. There’s no ramifications, just come back when you’re sober on another night and you’re good.
This guy wasn’t having it. The police tried talking him down saying “look, you’re not in trouble but you need to leave. Sleep it off it’s almost closing time.”
The guy then tried to sucker punch the police officer in the face.
He went from sleeping it off at home to getting a criminal record for being an idiot.

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I’m a retired electrician. In my life, I’ve seen some bad things happen.
One time, in 1982, myself and another electrician were up in a articulating lift, probably elevated 40 feet up.
We had shut the power off to what it was we were working on the night before, and needed to splice into the existing 3 phase / 480 volt circuit.
I had the wire loppers ( cutters ) and said to my partner ” before we cut into these lines, I’d like to go check that power source for dead…
He said “listen, we shut it off last night, what more do you need to check ?”
I handed him the loppers and said ” Then YOU cut them… I turned the other way ..He did, and BOOOOM !
He was (luckily) wearing safety glasses and it shot out plasma, fire and molten copper all over him. The breaker feeding this circuit tripped luckily too, otherwise there would have been a fatality…maybe even two….

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My stepfather worked for a large tent company. The team showed up to take down a massive tent after a circus left town only to find an elephant standing in there.
edit: Thank you for the gold and the hilarious comments reddit!
As to how they handled it 1)laugh with your coworkers at the absurdity for 15 minutes. 2) spend 30 minutes discussing what you should do here. 3) Track down the owner of the tent company who had to call the circus company. They sent a handler ahead to keep an eye on the elephant until the transportation showed up to move it. 4)Circus had to pay an extra day of rental for this debacle. The tent guys got OT.

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I worked in a chemical pilot plant. An operator forgot to add a powdered catalyzing agent to the chemical reactor before he closed it up so he opened the lid and poured it in but he poured it too close to a vent line and the agent was sucked into the line where it eventually made its way to a three story vent condenser building. The building had a large fiberglass duct that was common to all of the equipment. When the agent reached the duct it caused a reaction the set it on fire. The duct smoked like a cigar all the way through the building up to the rooftop fans. The plant had to be closed for three months to repair everything.

Same plant, a maintenance tech forgot to take off the safety grounding chains from an electrical substation he was working on before he re-energized it. Melted all of the bus bars and damaged the transformer. Took two months to repair.

Same plant, a large school bus sized emergency generator that was being delivered hit a bridge on the way to the plant. It was sent back to the factory and took six months to get sent back to us. When they sent it back they forgot to ship the bolts for the lifting lugs, the rigger sent an apprentice to the hardware store to buy bolts. The bolts he bought were a low structural grade and with the generator lifted about eight feet off the ground a bolt failed and the generator dropped onto the low boy trailer. The trailer was destroyed and the generator had to be sent back to the factory again for repairs.

These are the top three but there are more. Like the day they accidentally steamed a monkey, or when they blended a garden hose into two million worth of product. My second day on the job I shut the whole plant down but that’s a story for another day.

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I worked for a small ecommerce retail brand. One night, me and the email marketing person were the last ones in the office, heading out to happy hour right after she finished setting up and sending a marketing email to our email list (of about 15,000 people). We were trying to come up with a subject line and she was testing different ideas out, typing them in the subject field to see to see how it looked. We were feeling uninspired and stumped on a good line, and were growing antsy and a little loopy. She laughed, made a noise of exasperation, and typed, “FUCK THIS” into the subject field. We both laughed, and I kept trying to think of an idea. Suddenly she screamed out loud, and I looked up to see “Email Sent!” on the email client page. She had just sent the email to 15,000 people, including everyone in our office subscribed to our email list. 3 minutes later, our boss called to fire her.
Good news is we still made happy hour.

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College, a big class in the major. Teacher allows a cheat sheet, because the test is so complicated. Classmate comes in with his cheat sheet and proceeds to joke that it is actually cheating. He wraps it around his water bottle like the brand sticker. The water bottle was sweaty and proceeds to soak into the paper. His touching of the paper shreds it. He ended up having to do the final without a cheat sheet and failed.

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I didn’t witness it personally, but my former boss told me this story.
He was a chef in a restaurant and one of the line cooks was in charge of pulling down the hood vents and cleaning them at the end of the night. They are above the grills and fryers.
Guy didn’t cover the fryers or let them cool down, he stood on the edges, essentially straddling it.
He slipped. Leg went into still hot grease oil. It’s foot got caught in the grate at the bottom so it took even longer to pull his foot out as he couldn’t get it out of the grate.
I believe my former boss said the guy had to get his leg amputated below the knee.

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