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12. She doesnt eat meat.

She probably also uses deodorant made from tree bark, toothpaste made from vegetable compost,and wont drink a crisp American lager. Also known as the terrorists winning.

11. She likes the Kardashians.

Talentless, materialistic hacks. Kim Kardashian could sell half the girls Ive met the last year a ball of dog shit. Literally, dog shit. If they like the Kardashians they care more about shiny things than you, believe that. One girl I know called called Kim K. an entrepreneur taught us how to get famous by taking it in the butt from a scrub, on camera.

10. Shes always in a relationship.

Shes dependent, settles, no substance, or confidence. A seasoned vet at the bitch face.

9. She tells you she uses internet dating sites for an ego boost on the first date.

RUN.

8. She tells you that you two should see each other less because she is working on personal issues.

Just got out of a relationship, wants to let loose on the weekends, if you know what I mean.

7. She has more than one family emergency on the days you are supposed to hang out.

If you stick around for more than two of these, you are a sad excuse for a man.

6. She has to lie to people about how you met, because meeting at a bar is creepy.

Especially if it was that corner bar on the east side that smelled like dead oysters.

5. She still says YOLO.

She also does the duckface, while holding up a peace sign, while on a boat. Guarantee.

4. She likes to talk about how she knows a lot of athletes.

A lot of athletes have put their junk inside her. 100%.

 

3. All her exes are way uglier than her.

red-flags-0002

Self-esteem issues. Cant handle you getting attention. Needs to be in the power position.  You’ll know for sure when she is always holding the remote.

2. Her texts dont match up with your face to face convos.

Its much easier to be a piece of shit through the text than face to face, obviously. The texting version of her is the real version.

1. She only goes to clubs.

red-flags-0000

These girls. The gym selfies. The duckfaces at age 26. The materialistic bullshit. Bottle service. Caked on make up and ALWAYS a lot less hot than they act.

 

Look for the girl that is as comfortable in heels as she is shotgunning a beer.

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