Recent research published in Interpersona: An International Journal on Personal Relationshipsshows that men and women flirt very differently (duh) and some techniques are less effective than others. Want to be a master of flirtation? Read on.
Bucknell University conducted a series of four studies to examine the correlation between gender and preferred flirting tactics, as well as the biological reason for flirting.
The participants — well over 100 of each gender — were asked to answer questions about ways they’ve flirted in the past, as well as ranking the effectiveness of various flirtation techniques others have tried on them.
(Thank goodness they didn’t have to name names.)
They discovered that if you want a guy to know that you like him, you’ve got to get physical.
Across all men, the actions that were perceived to be most effective were the following: 1. She kisses you on the cheek, 2. She rubs against you, 3. She moves closer to you, 4. She touches you, in general, and 5. She touches your arm.
However if you’re a guy who wants to get a girl to know you’re picking up what she’s putting down, you’ve got to show that you’re in it for the long haul.
Women perceived the following actions to be most effective: 1. He holds hands with you, 2. He spends time with you, 3. He asks you out, 4. He kisses you, 5. He makes you laugh, 6. He acts interested in you, and 7. He has dinner with you.
The researchers also noted that when it comes to flirting, women don’t (usually) have to try as hard as guys.
Male participants in the study admitted to trying a whopping 27 different flirtation techniques, ranging from “asking her for help” to “buying her a drink.”
Conversely, female participants only reported employing 14 different flirtation techniques, including “teasing and joking around” and “dancing with him.”
“Flirtations from women that suggest sexual access and flirtations from men that suggest exclusivity, commitment, and caring were perceived as the most effective flirtatious acts…Additionally, these findings are consistent with evolutionary theory based research showing that men and women’s selection of mates is rooted in reproductive fitness and parental investment concerns,” the researchers concluded.
So go forth, and flirt effectively!