13 Ridiculous Luxuries The Obscenely Wealthy Spend Their Money On

See how the other side lives…and then vomit in your mouth a little.

Kidnapping insurance

When you’re worth a boatload of money, you become a target for criminals who who’d like to get their hands on a chunk of it. Most Kidnapping and Ransom insurance (K&R to those in the know) covers ransom monies as well as transit/deliver of said monies, legal liability, and accidental death or dismemberment during kidnapping (yikes).

Luxury taxis disguised as ambulances

“Russian police have discovered companies on the Internet offering rides in ‘ambulance-taxis’ through notoriously bad Moscow traffic,” reports AutoBlog. “For roughly 6,000 rubles per hour – about $193 US, which doesn’t sound like much for a wealthy Russian – the ‘customer’ will get to cut through gridlock in an ambulance with flashing lights and the proper paint scheme outside but a refitted, leather-lined interior.” AutoBlog

Celebrity guest rentals

Want to make sure your New Year’s Eve party is the talk of the town? Pay a celebrity to show up. “Anybody [with a big enough bank account] can buy a celebrity host or appearance for anything,”says Mike Esterman, a celebrity booking agent based in Washington, D.C. who places stars at public and private events around the world. A Playboy model might only set you back $1,000 to $1,500, but if you want to hire Lady Gaga, make sure to have a couple million in cash handy, Esterman says.

Private lessons from professional athletes

“My neighbor’s kid, who absolutely hates golf, got personal lessons from pro golfer Vijay Singh,”said reddit user Stopman, who claims to live in a very, very rich neighborhood. In fact booking a lesson like this isn’t as hard as you might think (assuming you have gobs of disposable income). The website has an impressive roster of professional athletes who can be booked for a lesson or appearance if the price is right.

Christmas tree stylists

When you wipe your butt with dollar bills, you can’t be troubled with such pedestrian things as decorating your own Christmas tree. Hell, you probably have three houses with a couple trees in each. Instead, you hire Bob Pranga, aka Dr. Christmas, aka Christmas tree stylist to the stars.

“I come over and do everything while you sit and drink cappuccinos and say, ‘Isn’t this just wonderful?'” Pranga told CNN Money. His services cost anywhere from $2,500 to $80,000 and start with a 30-minute consultation to determine style, budget and timing. “I offer what I call the Honda, Lexus or Rolls Royce packages.”

Heated driveways

What do Bill Gates, Tony Danza, Rod Blagojevich, and Prince Bandar of Saudi Arabia all have in common (besides fat bank accounts)? They all laid down a nice chunk of change to installradiant heat driveways that ensure they’ll never lift a shovel or slip on an ice patch ever again. Most cost $14 to $24 per square foot to install (nevermind energy costs!), and we all know how rich people love their long driveways…

Personal shoppers

They’re like personal assistants, but instead of fetching coffee and organizing your appointments, they scurry to the mall boutique every time you need a new thousand-dollar pair of underwear. “I have clients between Chicago, New York, Los Angeles and Miami, I’m all over the place,” explained 34-year-old Amy, a professional shopper whose typical clients are between 35 and 50 years old with “pretty big” budgets. “They fly me. Occasionally I’ll get flown out to different locations for shopping trips as well, it just depends.”

Nighttime nannies

When you’re uber rich, you simply cannot be troubled to get up with your infant multiple times a night ( BEAUTY SLEEP, people!). Instead, you hire a night nanny who will wake up when the baby cries, bring her/him to mom’s bed for feeding (if they’re one of those hippie breastfeeding types), and/or make bottles, change diapers, and croon lullabies until the little millionaire goes back to sleep.

Luxury playhouses

Remember that treehouse you loved so much as a kid? Well, rich kids can’t be troubled with such rough approximations of a house. Instead, they get monstrosities like those made by La Petite Maison, a company specializing in custom built play-mansions that cost more than some actual houses. That people actually live in. (They also make custom doggy-mansions if you need one of those.)

Personal islands

The extremely wealthy simply cannot stand the idea that they might have to share the beach or tiki bar with other less fabulous humans. So, they buy their own private island. And while it only takes a couple million to lay claim to your own floating chunk of paradise (chump change, amirite?) you also have to account for how much it costs to transport people, power, and building materials to that obscure little map-point so you can sunbathe in the style to which you are accustomed.

Art rescue insurance

“Any regular Joe can insure their Monets and Picassos against fire, floods and theft. But several insurance companies take it up a notch by actually rescuing your art,” reports “When things go bad, a team of real life ‘monuments men’ will sweep in and snatch your precious collection and spirit it off to safety – leaving you to battle the zombie hordes with one less worry.”

Professional matchmakers

When you’ve got stacks on stacks, you can’t be bothered with Tinder or other dating services of the masses. And you certainly can’t go to a bar to meet someone. You might have to drink domestic beer (blech). Instead, you pay a private matchmaking service to comb through the available singles in your city, looking for a someone that’s worthy of your NBA courtside seats. This service starts at around $15,000 per year (additional cities extra!) and if you actually marry or enter a long-term relationship with your match, you must shell out additional “success fees.”

Private concerts

If there’s one thing obscenely wealthy people hate to do, it’s rub shoulders with ordinary people in a crowded concert hall. “My piano teacher is a successful concert pianist,” explains reddit userSkycuddle. “He eventually received an invitation to spend a weekend with and perform for a famous investor at a remote location, and he had to fly private to get there. The patron had an estate with several mansions, the whole nine yards. The really crazy thing is that this patron had also built a private symphonic concert hall, and apparently invited artists regularly to come and perform for him privately. We are talking about symphonic orchestras playing whatever he liked to hear. Let me remind you that it means flying them out and housing them for the duration.”

13 Ridiculous Luxuries The Obscenely Wealthy Spend Their Money On


2 replies on “13 Ridiculous Luxuries The Obscenely Wealthy Spend Their Money On”

I deliberately don’t have K&R insurance, but my people know how banks work and can explain you can’t withdraw more than a small amount without triggering a police tip off. Also, I’m not the kind of rich person that has lots of cash on hand or that can be raised quickly. Also there is a revenge pact so you’d make more money destroying the co-conspirators.

A motorcycle taxi will beat an ambulance taxi any day.

I don’t pay celebs to come. I just throw a good party.

Celeb instructors are provided at most banking golf days, but I only take instruction from one pro in the world. Not a big name, but she knows my swing and gets more done in less time.

I don’t have a tree stylist. My tree is covered in family history.

I don’t have homes in countries that freeze while I’m there.

My personal shopper helps me find investible collectables, not clothes. I wind up with a cost and time saving.

I have full time live in nannies and other domestics. NBD; everyone does here.

I do not own any luxury playhouses. My companies have summer houses and their upkeep is free to me and a tax offset. I do not own an island, but some of the properties have their own beach and the houses are well isolated.

My art is insured but nobody else knows where it is and it can’t be stolen. Also, I don’t technically own any.

Who needs a matchmaker when you are eligible? I didn’t marry for strategic advantage. Today, I want no strings (i.e. Commercial) hook ups.

I guess I have private concerts, but many bands play for free. If I want a private session, I’ll go to a rehearsal, band party or studio session.

In short, you don’t need to obscenely wealthy to enjoy these benefits. Moderately well-off will do.

You are dead right, Draculya. People of humble means can live very, very satisfying and interesting lives.

The number one thing I see that people do to defeat themselves is to have some kind of addiction. Drinking, smoking, drugs, food, you name it. To overindulge is incredibly wasteful in both time and money. Conservatism for a couple of years can build a cash cache very quickly. Proper budgeting and investing will make it hard to deplete those funds.

I have, personally, walked clients through fire. One, in particular, was a middle aged woman who had a nasty separation that left her saddled with a ton of debt and an unsellable piece of real estate. In 36 months, she was back in the black, debt free, money in savings, and a movable property. Her income was less than 40% the US median income.

Once a person can realize money as an idea, rather than a thing, they can really take control.

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