13 Self-Proclaimed Scumbags Admit The Worst Things They’ve Done

Has some evil thought ever crept its way into your dumb mind and you just had to give in? You knew it was a scumbag, trash thought or idea, but you still went along with it? Well these 13 people did and have come to terms with the fact they are/were scumbags and tell tales of their scumbaggiestactions:

1. Scumbag-ish, but at least you reversed your scumbaggery.

Swapped out my broken PlayStation with a neighbor kids PlayStation. Literally ran to my house when he went down for supper and swapped them out before he came back upstairs. He called my house asking if his PlayStation was working fine when he was gone. I of course acted as if nothing seemed wrong with it. Felt so bad I ended up having another opportunity that weekend and swapped them back again. I felt a little better when he called later that day super excited that his PlayStation “worked” again. Yeah 12 year old me was a grade A scumbag.

CosmicChris217 / Reddit.com

2. I kinda like this one.

I dunno if this is a scumbag thing, but I headed into a public bathroom once because I was about to explode from szechuan food, but just before I was about to unleash havoc, the guy in the next stall got a phone call so I held it until he answered and right after he said hello I pushed worth as much force as I could muster, devastating the toilet and sending out a very satisfying and resounding diarrhea noise. I don’t actually feel bad about it, you shouldn’t answer the phone in a public bathroom, but he probably thought I was a scumbag. There was no mistaking they heard that shit on the other end of that call.

Beast510  / Reddit.com

3. I would not have told him I was joking. Just never spoke to him again.

I went to an Ultimate Frisbee tournament as a Coach one year in Middle School. In the finals match the opposing coach asked why I wasn’t playing. I told him my Make-A-Wish was to coach a frisbee team, assuming he would get that I was joking. He replied by telling me his Son was getting his wish in the coming Month. His face when I said I was joking and apologized still haunts me.

lahaslehof / Reddit.com

4. You were 6, time to forgive yourself.

When I was 6 years old, my dad spent all day recording songs off the radio onto a tape. He gave it to me when I got home from school.

I listened to one song, told him I didn’t like that kind of music, and recorded over everything he’d assembled. I still feel horrible about it.

I recently told him about the guilt, and apologized, and he doesn’t know what the fuck I’m talking about.

CaptainFingerling / Reddit.com

5. Poor piss-child.

In a camp, sleeping in bags with other kids. Pissed myself at night so I pissed on the kid next to me to blame him (made it look like the piss got to my side).

Twice. On the same kid.

Xepphy / Reddit.com

6. Here you go, Boss. The worst vodka of your life.

One night when I was 16, alone in the house and bored, I stole a bottle of vodka out of my parents bar. I took it to my room where with great care, I slowly peeled back the tax strip, opened it and poured it out into a bunch of cups. I then filled it with water, resealed it, And put it back under the bar. The perfect crime. Fast forward 6months. My transgression completely forgotten, It’s Christmas time and my mom is going out to her company xmas party. before she leaves she hands me that bottle of vodka and asks me to wrap it for her..

Qibble / Reddit.com

7. Kids these days and their hot candies.

Some really young kids were constantly harassing my mom because, when she could, she would give out candy to all of the tenants that rented from her in one of the mega apartment complexes she managed. They would come to the door at all hours asking for candy, and if she didn’t have any, they would call her names, swear at her, and throw things at her door.

I went to visit one day when she wasn’t home, but my little brother was there. He was all psyched to show me this unbelievably hot Komodo dragon chili pepper he had gotten his hands on. He asked if I wanted to try a sliver, and of course I said no. Just as he started cutting it up for himself, these kids come to the door. They asked if we had any candy, and I said no, and they asked for the “[email protected] old lady” that lived there. I said Woah little man, you shouldn’t say stuff like that, and they ran laughing. My little brother tells me all about these kids, and he gets an idea. He had some of those frosted multicolored gumdrops, so we took JUST THE GREEN ONES, carefully cut them open, and placed part of this pepper in the middle of them. While we are performing this surgery’, these kids keep knocking at the door and running away. Finally we open the door and say hey, we found some candy. I offer the bowl of these things and they grab handfuls of them and take off.

About 15 minutes later, we hear this sound like an ambulance getting softer than louder, softer than louder. We look out the window, and there is one of the kids, running around in circles and stuffing his shirt in his mouth, bawling. At the time, we thought this was hilarious. What we didn’t expect was a few minutes later when we heard the kid outside the door with his dad….

I open the door, and the dad looks at me and says, “I’m sorry, but my son said you gave him ‘bad’ candy”? I said I apologize, we had some gumdrops in the back, and i know my mom usually gives the kids candy, but that there may be some hot ones in the mix. He looks at his son, smacks him on the back of the head, and says “Suck it up. You’ve had hot candy before”. The kid, still crying and in between stuttered breaths, manages to eek out, “NOT THIS HOT”!!

The dad actually apologized to us. I found out those kids never bothered my mom again, and that one probably never ate a green gumdrop again in his life.

sincethenes / Reddit.com

8. The game even callin’ you on your bullshit.

I stole The Legend of Zelda: Links Awakening from a classmate when I was 7 years old. My guilt reached fever pitch when the game itself started calling me Thief.

Lashmush  / Reddit.com

9. Some people just want to watch the world burn taste like vinegar.

My friend asked for a glass of water and I gave him a glass of vinegar. Idek why. He took a sip and was just like ” fuck off bro… ” and went and got water.

Edit: Was genuinely unaware there was any religious relation to my scummy act when I was 15. Cheers http://www.jesus-story.net/mocked_sop_berry.html

CarsenAF / Reddit.com

10. Alright this one is kinda on the machine designer.

This probably isn’t this worst but I feel bad about it now. So this was when I was in trade school. The vending machines for snacks, cokes, and energy drinks also took cards. How it worked was you slid your card, punched in the code for what you wanted, and then hit end to end purchase. The thing was the last part wasn’t explicitly stated. So I’d wait by the machine for somebody to swipe their card then buy something when they left. I’d get two or three things on their card. Free energy drinks! Drink some. Trade one for some cigarettes. So yeah. Pretty scummy.

cjbucktooth / Reddit.com

11. Just chucking a phone as far as you can sounds oddly satisfying.

In college I attended a house party with a group of my friends. About 3 hours into the party I notice everyone is flocking to the backyard. I follow the crowd and realize that my group of friends has gotten into a fight with another group of guys.

As I approach, I hear a girl say “this is ridiculous! I’m calling the police!” I look at her and say, “you’re obviously drunk. You’re slurring your words. Let me talk to the police.” She hands me her phone and I threw it as far as I possibly could, yelled to my friends “yo, we gotta get outta here NOW!” and we all bolted. Always kinda felt bad about throwing her phone but hey–I’m a problem solver.

TeddyAloe / Reddit.com

12. This one is just pure evil. So many relationships ended for nothing.

A long time ago, younger, singler and dumber me worked at telephone survey job. I was terrible at it but generally tried my best. Sometimes, though, I’d get bored, and you know what they say about idle hands…

Every once in a while we’d get an answering machine. The thing is, folks don’t generally remember when they record for their message. If they said their names, I’d strike. If the message was sometihng like, “This is Bob and Sally, leave a message…” I’d record “Hey Sally, just wanted to say I had a great time this weekend. Thanks.”

I imagine there would be some… passionate conversations after that. Questions to the affect of, “If you don’t know him how does he know your name?”

I’m not proud of it.

zCYNICALifornia / Reddit.com

13. Quick, to the turd jacuzzi!

On holiday in a hotel I didn’t know very well and had to look after my little brother. I needed to poop. Bad.

Couldn’t find where a toilet was, so dragged him into an empty Jacuzzi and took a dump in it. We both screamed and ran out as it floated to the top and managed to convince him it was already there when we got in.

BradenA8 / Reddit.com




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