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Sex: most of the world is having it, but not everyone is setting sexy records like the good people on this list. From guys who take hours to masturbate to the biggest penis on record, all of the stories collected here are either going to get you hot under the collar or they’re going to make you question everything you know about yourself. Make sure no one’s looking, and prepare yourself for the freakiest sex world records that are actually real.

If there was a Guinness book of records for sex, the super sexy oddities on this list would be in it, making you feel kind of weird but in a good way. But don’t get the wrong idea, some of the sexual records below are downright chaste. For instance, not only have is there a virgin who’s fathered fourteen children, but there’s plenty to learn about the world’s oldest mother. And you thought you wouldn’t learn anything on a list of the freakiest sex records known to man.

Obviously, this list of sex records is NSFWish so use your discretion about who you read it around – i.e. not your boss (unless you work in a sex shop and if that’s the case you need to stop reading and start upselling). Now that that’s cleared up, turn down the lights, put on some Isaac Hayes and read about the weirdest sexual feats on record.

The Most Orgasms in a Day: 200+

Sarah Carmen suffers from persistent genital arousal syndrome and experiences up to 200 orgasms today. About her condition she said, “Often, I’ll want to wear myself out by having as many orgasms as I can so they stop and I can get some peace. Sometimes I have so much sex to try to calm myself down I get bored of it. And men I sleep with don’t seem to make as much effort because I climax so easily.” 

Honorable Mention: Dale Decker, who, due to the same syndrome/a birthday wish gone horribly wrong, can’t stop having orgasms. He sometimes has up to 100 orgasms a day.

The World’s Most Dangerous Sex Position: The Cowgirl

 

In 2015 scientists delivered some discouraging news when they revealed that after rigorous testing they’d discovered that the world’s most dangerous sex position, cowgirl, was also one of the most performed.

Honorable Mention: It’s not a Guinness World Record or anything, but this couple has been dubbed the “loudest lovemakers in New York” by the New York Post.

The World’s Strongest Vagina: Can Lift 31 Pounds

In 2009 Tatyana Kozhevnikova set the unofficial record for vaginal weightlifting when she lifted 31 pounds with her nether regions. Will someone from Guinness give this woman a certificate already?

Honorable Mention: This guy has diphalia (two working penises).

The World’s Oldest Virgin: 107 Years Old

Clara Meadmore was the world’s oldest virgin. In 2008, at just 105 years old, she told the Daily Mail that she was too busy for a relationship, and felt that physical intimacy would be a “hassle.” Meadmore died in July 2011, a few months before her 108th birthday.

Honorable Mention: This virgin has fathered 14 children.

The World’s Largest Natural Breasts: 102ZZZ

Norma Stitz is just a normal lady from Atlanta, GA, except her Guinness confirmed breast size is 102ZZZ, which sounds more like a radio station than it does a bra size. 

Honorable Mention: Beshine, the German model who supposedly has a set of 32Z breasts that allegedly weigh 20 pounds a piece.

The World’s First Porn: 1896’s Le Coucher de la Mariée

The world’s oldest porn probably isn’t anything modern audiences would be interested in seeing, but back in 1896 the French were tearing off their pantaloons at the chance to watch Le Coucher de la Mariéein which a woman strips off her clothes in a bathroom, bathes, and then gets dressed again. Ooh la la. 

Honorable Mention: The 1972 film, Deep Throat, is the world’s highest grossing porn, making somewhere between $50 million and $600 million (but honestly it’s probably closer to $50 million).

The Most Queefs Ever Recorded: 93 in 30 Seconds

In 2007, Howard Stern hosted a queefing championship. Out of the woodwork crawled Abby, unassuming nurse and mother of two, who also happens to have tremendous control of her vagina. Stripped to her underwear and ready to queef her way into the record books, Abby unleashed an astounding fusillade of p*ssy burps – 93 in 30 seconds. She was officially crowned Queef Queen.

In her interview with Stern associate Doc in the wake of her championship, Abby spoke frankly about sex and her talent. “I’ve always been into hot chicks, who isn’t? My husband and I did have a threesome…She and I went down on each other and it ended with my husband screwing her and me watching. Which was okay with me cuz she kinda sucked.

I love that I had the opportunity to be a part of the show. I can’t wait to go back again. I’ve had a few people ask for queefs and am happy to oblige…I do it in elevators all the time to embarrass whoever I’m with. I let them rip whenever I feel like it, mostly when I’m bored or drunk. I went to a strip club once and told a group of guys I could queef and they each payed me $20 to hear me queef. They took turns putting their heads down below so they could hear it.”

The Largest Collection of Erotic Art: 4,000 Items

Until her death in 2015, Naomi Wilzig ran the World Erotic Art Museum where she displays her collection of over 4,000 items. Some of them, including a phallic prop from A Clockwork Orangecost upwards of $30 million.

Honorable Mention: This poor guy had his entire porn collection, worth around $7,500, stolen from his Michigan home in 2013. But there was a happy ending, he had the bulk of his collection replaced by a few of his favorite companies.

The Longest Permanent Erection: The Rest of This Guy’s Life

A 21-year-old Iranian man gained a constant semi-boner when he tattooed his penis with “borow be salaamat” (“good luck with your journeys”) and the letter “M.”

Honorable Mention: The man with the 8-month-long boner.

The World’s Most Powerful Sex Toy: The 70 Pound per Square Inch Kong

This link is definitely NSFW, but it’s also a review of a sex machine that uses 70 pounds per square inch of torque, so what do you expect? You wouldn’t be wrong if your mistook the Kong for a power tool, just don’t bring it to your construction job on Monday. 

Honorable Mention: The Sybian is a sex toy/your new boyfriend and it’s been featured prominently on Howard Stern. He even lets his guests take a ride on it if they want. Which is um… what’s the word? Gross.

The Longest Amount of TIme Spent Masturbating: 9 Hours and 58 Minutes

How does the saying go? Those who can’t do, teach, and those who can’t teach take part in an annual Masturbate-a-Thon. As of 2011 Mansanobu Sato holds the world record for longest amount of time masturbating at 9 hours and 58 minutes.

Honorable Mention: The state where people have the longest sex sessions is New Mexico.

The Largest Penis in the World: 17 Inches

The Argentine Blue-Bill Duck has the largest penis relative to its body size in the world. At 17 inches long, the duck’s penis almost as big as its actual body. 

Honorable Mention: The blue whale. The average blue whale penis is about 8 to 10 feet long, but nowhere near as weird looking as that duck’s second bill.

The World’s Oldest Prostitute: 82 Years Old

If you knew the oldest prostitute in the world, what would you call her? Grandma? Yeah that makes sense. In Taiwan, there’s an 82-year-old prostitute that police have said doesn’t look a day over 70.

Honorable Mention: Europe’s prostitution capital, the 6,000 square meter “mega brothel” in Saarbrücken, Germany.

The Largest Collection of Penises: 282 Specimens

If you’re ever in Reykjavik, Iceland make sure to take a stop at the Icelandic Phallological Museum, which is open from 10 am to 6 pm and boasts a collection that holds 282 specimens from 93 different species of animals. 

Honorable Mention: Cynthia Plaster Caster’s collection of penis casts that range from rock stars like Jimi Hendrix to weirdo pop dudes like Ariel Pink.

The World’s Youngest Mother: 5 Years Old

Lina Medina, of Peru, was five years old when she gave birth to a son in 1939. According to Reuters, the Peruvian government offered financial support, but it never materialized. Lina’s son, Gerardo died at the age of 40 in 1979. 

Honorable Mention: At 72, Omkari Panwar is the world’s oldest mother after delivering a set of twins by C-section.

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