JUMP TO COMMENTS
Previous
Next

14 Movie Monsters We Can’t Wrap Our Heads Around

 

 

Clowns. Dolls. Vampires. Werewolves. Zombies. Masked maniacs. There’s a standard list of movie monsters we’re all used to seeing, but the history of movies is long and odd ducks are going to pop up here and there. In fact, I’m surprised that there wasn’t a literal “odd duck” movie to put on this list considering what other beasts did make it on.

To be clear, not every movie monster here is from a horror film, we’re past Halloween now and a few goofy things made it on here. Also, “weird” doesn’t necessarily mean “bad.” But most of them are from horror movies, and most of them are bad. That’s all you need to know going forward.

 


Children
The Children

Did you ever wonder what would happen if your school bus drove through a radioactive gas cloud? No? Well, The Children from 1980 has an answer, and the answer is that it turns the kids onboard into perpetually smiling creeps with black fingernails that possess the power to… Hug people to death? There are plenty of other monsters on here that were created through radiation, but radiation that gives children the ability to fry your body by hugging is somehow a step too far.

 


The Death Bed
Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

Fans of the comedian Patton Oswalt will already know about this, but for the uninitiated, The Death Bed from Death Bed: The Bed That Eats is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a bed. It eats people. Like, it’s possessed by the bloody tears of a demon and stuff and has been around for a couple centuries, but that doesn’t matter. It’s a literal deathbed that dissolves people in green foam. What else could you possibly say about that? (And no, it’s not as cool as that scene from Nightmare on Elm Street where young Johnny Depp gets pulled into the bed.)

 


Brain Monsters
Fiend Without A Face

If you’re into old 1950s horror movies, I do recommend watching Fiend Without A Face. It takes itself pretty seriously, and it’s a solid little horror movie about invisible creatures that are sucking the brains out of the local townspeople. But during the finale, a nuclear reactor is purposely overloaded to make the creatures visible, and they’re absolutely bonkers to look at. These are probably the second scariest monsters to make this list, but they still firmly fall into the “weird” category.

 


Ghost Wife
Death Spa

So, the Ghost Wife of Death Spa isn’t that weird at first glance. But in her own movie, she’s a complicated woman to say the least. Try to follow this: She set herself on fire in a wheelchair, is possessing her fraternal twin brother, and her fraternal twin brother is in charge of the security at a “high tech” (for the 1980s) health club. Oh, and her husband is one of the owners of the club, and she wants him to join her in Hell as lovers forever. She possesses dead fish to eat a police officer. She tries to fry a woman with a tanning bed. She does way more, and you just have to see it to believe it.

 


The Frog Beast
The Maze

The Maze is a mostly boring bit of “spooky castle” filmmaking that is only worth mentioning because of the batshit insane reveal of its monster: A man-sized frog. Now, that’s weird enough, but the backstory for the creature is that it was a human being that was born prematurely and developed into a frog man. I rarely say this, but now that you know that, you probably don’t ever need to see this.

 


Ella the Monkey
Monkey Shines

Every master has their slip-ups, and George Romero, the legendary director of Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, and Creepshow, definitely has a few misses in his career. But none of them are as bizarre as Monkey Shines, a movie about a paraplegic man who receives an experimental monkey, Ella, as a helper. The monkey has had a surgery that allows it to communicate psychically with the paraplegic, and his subconscious anger towards people leads the monkey on a killing spree. I can’t stress enough that this movie is bizarrely serious in tone and isn’t trying to be a parody, but it’s too weird to take seriously.

 


Giant Killer Rabbits
Night of the Lepus

Giant. Killer. Rabbits. Yes, this movie is real. Yes, this movie has several famous (at the time) actors and actresses in it, including Janet Leigh from Psycho. Yes, it’s terrible, but it’s an absolute blast to watch a movie like this, because just like Monkey Shines, Night of the Lepus takes itself seriously. It is not joking around about giant killer rabbits, and that just makes it even funnier.

 


The Laundry Machine
The Mangler

Stephen King has written countless novels and short stories, and between movies, TV movies, and TV shows, he has almost as many adaptations. And this one, The Mangler, is truly terrible. A giant industrial laundry machine is possessed by a demon. It eats people (no relation to The Death Bed). Oh, and they got Robert Englund, the original Freddy Krueger, to play a guy who feeds people to the laundry machine to serve the devil, I guess.

 


The Two-Legged Lizard
King Kong

I love the original King Kong. I’m a sucker for giant monster movies (which will become even more apparent when we get to the end of this list), but The Two-Legged Lizard is one of those things I’ll never quite understand. Skull Island is filled with dinosaurs and oversized animals, but The Two-Legged Lizard comes out of nowhere. The newest Kong movie, Kong: Skull Island, redesigned this monster and turned it into the badass Skull Crawler, but the original monster is the goofiest and most out of place thing about one of the most famous monster movies of all time.

 


Gigan
Godzilla Vs. Gigan

Godzilla has one of the largest pool of monsters to choose from, to the point that I thought about just making all of these Godzilla monsters. But when it came down to it, one monster is weirder than (almost) all of them: Gigan. The other Godzilla monsters tend to have their roots in dinosaurs, dragons, oversized animals, that kind of thing, but Gigan is a nonsense creature, and while he’s an alien, the design still falls firmly into the “weird” category. He does have a buzzsaw in his chest though, and that’s pretty cool?

 


Belial
Basket Case

This 80s cult classic has a simple hook: An eccentric guy carries around a basket everywhere he goes. It’s locked shut. He won’t say what’s inside, but anyone who dares to open it finds out the hard way. The guy’s deformed Siamese twin lives in the basket, and he’s not exactly a supermodel, but he does have homicidal tendencies. This movie is actually pretty scary at times, and I’d even argue that this is the scariest monster on here in terms of its look. Doesn’t make the set up any less bizarre though.

 

 

The Stuff

The Stuff is a wonderful, tasty, and calorie-free alternative to yogurt and ice cream. Like every health craze, it has a catch though: The Stuff is actually a primordial ball of white goop that eats you from the inside out and has chosen to seed itself around the Earth by pretending to be food. Part satire, part goofy as all hell, The Stuff is one of the weirdest movie monsters ever. Unlike most of the films on this list, this movie does know that it’s goofy and leans into its goofiness.

 

Godzilla’s First Form
Shin Godzilla

I couldn’t help putting another Godzilla monster on here y’all, but at least it’s the big bad man himself. Kind of. In the most recent Japanese Godzilla movie, Shin Godzilla, the King of the Monsters is reborn and his first form barely resembles anything close to Godzilla. To be fair, he only looks like this for maybe one-quarter of the movie before he gets way bigger and way more badass (the first time he breathes fire is one of the best scenes in a Godzilla movie ever).

 

JUMP TO COMMENTS
Previous
Next
Please wait...

And Now... A Few Links From Our Sponsors