14 Things Women Want Men to Know About One-Night Stands

14 Things Women Want Men to Know About One-Night Stands


1. Women would rather you come back to their place, if only because women know for a fact that the sheets are clean on their bed. And that women have toilet paper in their bathroom and condoms in the nightstand.

2. But just in case, please make sure your apartment is in a livable state before you go out to meet someone.  Kinda like your mom’s rule about always wearing clean underwear just in case you get in an accident, except for spur-of-the-moment hookups in your usually messy home.

3. Seriously, do not put the burden of getting condoms on them. You can’t board a plane without a ticket, and you can’t get laid without a condom.

4. You absolutely do not get to say anything to them that insinuates they are slutty or dirty for being into sex. Sexy talk is fine, but LOL at you trying to slut-shame them for doing the same exact thing you are.

5. If women want to exchange phone numbers, they will tell you they want to exchange phone numbers. Really, it’s fine, this doesn’t need to be a whole thing where you exchange numbers just to look like you tried to make a date happen. You don’t have to try to make a date happen.

6. Do not assume you get to sleep over after. A half-night stand is a very real, and sometimes very great, thing. Everyone has shit to do in the morning, it’s fine.

7. Just because this is a sex thing only doesn’t mean you get to treat them like garbage. Yeah, they know they’re not your girlfriend but you should still be nice and kind because that’s how you treat other human beings (especially ones you stick your penis in).

8. There’s a difference between “catching feelings” and just being baseline affectionate. So yes, you can cuddle after and women won’t assume you want to marry them. It’s really OK.

9. Women don’t need to do the whole “take me to breakfast” thing in the morning. Although a cup of coffee would be greatly appreciated.

10. If they are at your place, splitting the cab fare with them is a gesture they would really appreciate. Paying the whole cab feels borderline like you just paid them to come sex you, but offering to split it feels diplomatic and kind.

11. They aren’t opposed to turning this into a regular sex gig if that’s something you can both agree on. Especially if the sex was incredibly good. This is just to say that yes, girls can want sex-only relationships and they do not necessarily fall in love with every person they sex.

12. If you don’t make sure they orgasm, then this whole thing was just a waste of time, honestly. The whole thrill of a one-night stand is trying out sex with a fun, hot stranger, and if the sex is bad, then it’s just time I could’ve spent sleeping.


13. You have to be 100 percent totally honest with them and tell them if you have any STIs before you do this thing.  know they are basically a stranger to you but this is so important.

14. Just tell them if you have to be somewhere early in the morning … instead of literally coming and going immediately after without explanation. Just be honest and courteous!


2 replies on “14 Things Women Want Men to Know About One-Night Stands”

Seems kinda scripted to me. Probably cause I don’t get to date like rich city hipsters. Mine date night goes from drinking tap beer and throwing darts, then back to beer. Hopefully i can meet a girl i know and she wants to get lucky. But that would be rare these days. Late night snack at the diner. Not all fancy fancy.

A proper one night stand is where you wake up and try to remember the harlot’s name as a sign of respect and then you only remember when you have 45 angry text messages from Gina in the secretarial pool who accuses you of roofieng her with tequila at the office party.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

More Boobs - Less Politics ​​

And Now... A Few Links From Our Sponsors