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15 Awful Interviews That Were More Funny Business Than Business –

 

Job interviews are stressful, and it’s completely understandable to flub a few words, maybe have some shaky hands or blank on a few answers. Those things are mostly forgivable.

These people’s interviews went a little worse than that. I may not be the best person to give advice on job interviews, but I think it’s a pretty safe bet when I say, don’t do what these people did.

 

Just a few weeks ago, I interviewed a girl for a healthcare position. The question was something like “tell me about a time you were forced into a new situation and how did you deal with it.” She proceeds to tell us about the time she was forced to move to an area with “colored people” and how she learned to “deal with them.”

 

Had a guy show up 40 minutes early for an interview, obviously crazy nervous. 30 minutes later my team and I greet the guy, and you could tell by the fantastic handshake the nerves were still there, and this may not go well.

I motioned him to the boardroom to do the interview, we sat down and before I had even asked the first question, he had barfed all over the table. Funny thing was he was one of the better applicants, so he did get a callback.

 

Not the worst, but the weirdest. Guy applied for a warehouse/delivery position. He had emailed back and forth with a few questions before the interview, and it sounded promising.

He comes in, sits down and says, “so, what is this position? Delivery? Oh, I can’t lift anything. Also, I lost my driver’s license a few months ago. I guess we’re done here.” And then just got up and left.

No thank you or goodbye, just got up and left. It was the shortest, most bizarre interview I’ve ever done.

 

I asked a guy when would he be available to begin work if offered the position…his response was that he would have to put down his dogs in order to begin work as soon as possible but was willing to do that to get the job.

We called him almost immediately after the interview to tell him he wasn’t selected and hopefully saved his dog’s lives.

 

I used to manage a Blockbuster and after one particularly awful interview I walked the candidate out towards the parking lot and the alarms went off. It turned out he stuffed three DVDs in his suit jacket before being called back to the office. He did not get the job. Or Mama Mia, Fool’s Gold, or High School Musical 3 for that matter.

 

I interviewed a guy who in the interview did all three . . .

commented that I was a woman and if I was “actually his boss or just an HR desk clerk?”

ask if we drug tested, and if so, could he take it in “like a week, he should pass then”

when I said that we are business casual his response was “well you would need to provide me with pants, since I only own jeans.”

I didn’t hire him…I am still shocked when I think of how bad of an applicant he was.

 

Guy told us that he applied so long ago he forgot which position it was for. We then proceeded to show him the job description and he said, “I don’t even know what this piece of equipment is” (it was a maintenance job). He apologized for wasting our time but he got a free bottle of water, so I guess it worked out for him.

 

I had to interview a guy for some contract labor and when I showed him our work vehicle he shook my hand and said, “I’m sorry but I refuse to drive a Chevy” and left.

I was speechless… he was giving me the story of how hard he’s been having it, and I decided to give him a shot and because we had a Silverado for the work vehicle he turned it down…he has 3 young children.

 

I was interviewing a candidate for an IT manager-type of position. He told me that he had been fired from his last position. Before I could inquire as to the reason, the candidate added, “Funny thing is, the same day my boss fired me was the same day he decided that he needed a punch in the face.” NEXT!

 

This guy came in, and I asked him why he wanted the job. He said “Well I really just wanted something super easy where I could kind of do nothing. I mean you guys don’t look like you work very hard. Also, there are some hot chicks that work here and I’d like to get to know them.”

I asked him what made him think that the job was easy and he replied, “well the thing is, I’m really fucking smart.” I literally looked around to see if I was on some candid camera show.

 

One time when I was accepting resumes a girl comes in and I go to shake her hand and I ask for her name. She doesn’t shake my hand and points to her name on the resume, rolls her eyes and says, “it literally says my name right there.”

 

A woman was about 15 years older than I was and clearly didn’t understand that I was the one actually interviewing her for the job. This was an engineering position on my team making ~$175K.

She was very candid with me regarding her overall personality and actually put her purse on her lap at one point and doing her makeup while we were talking. I guess she thought I was the secretary and she was making small talk before meeting with my boss?

 

Interviewing Veterinary Technicians and noticed there was quite a long gap (a few years) between the applicant’s college graduation and passing her state license exam. When I asked her about it, her response was, “It was pure laziness.”

 


I’m not a current manager but for my last job I had read over the resumes and made piles of no’s and maybes’. Anyway, one of the people put “practicing Christian” in their “other skills” section. One put “really good at Yu-Gi-Oh cards”. Another person put the word resume on the center top of their resume.

 

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