15 Horrendously Unladylike Things Every Woman Does

No matter how much you resemble a Disney princess, there’s no denying that the life of a woman can get pretty awkward sometimes.
1. When your dress or skirt gets caught in your buttcrack and you have to pull it out

Camel-toe is nothing compared to this.

2. When the air bubble from a fart gets caught up in your lady bits and you have to have to wiggle until it comes out

I mean, the rear exit was way closer, but I guess it wanted to take the scenic route.

3. When Mother Nature catches you unprepared and you, umm, have to improvise

I can make a tampon out of just about anything. I’m the menstruation MacGyver.

4. When your blood-catching methods fail and you end up with period-stained undies for life.

God forbid someone else sees them and you have to assure them that those are not skid marks.

5. When you chill out with your hand down your pants while you watch TV

It’s not even sexual. It’s just comfortable.

6. When you avoid shaving certain parts of your body to convince yourself not to hook up with your date

My calves say, “fancy date night,” but my thighs say, “Welcome to the jungle.”

7. When you unhook your bra and whip it out through your shirt sleeve the moment you get home


8. When you wear the same bra for way too many consecutive days

These things cost a small fortune and the occasional goat sacrifice, so I’m going to get my money’s worth.

9. When you get stuck in a shirt in the dressing room and panic about how you’re going to get out of it… if you ever do

OHGODOHGOD I should have never tried to force this over my boobs OHGODOHGOD.

10. When you not only sleep in your makeup, but also reapply new makeup over your old makeup the next day

Yesterday’s smudged eyeliner = today’s smokey eye.

11. When you feel like something’s a bit off between the cheeks and discover that a hair from your head managed to travel down into your buttcrack

If you’ve never felt the satisfaction of pulling it out of there, you have not yet lived.

12. When you absentmindedly play with your boobs while browsing the internet or reading

Yep, it is exactly as fun as it sounds.

13. When your period brings serious clottage and makes you wonder if you’re actually just birthing a demon

I didn’t know it was possible for something this large to slide out of my lady-chute.

14. When you push so hard while pooping that your tampon falls out

It’s actually pretty convenient if you were going to change it anyway.

15. When you masturbate not because you’re turned on, but because, hey, you’ve got nothing better to do

You never have “nothing to do” when you can have multiple orgasms.



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