We all have skeletons in our closet, but unfortunately for some people the skeletons are literal skeletons and not a metaphor for something they’re hiding in their personal life. So the next time you go snooping around someone’s bone collection, remember: another person is bound to find your own skeleton hoard.

We were looking for a new house. Walked towards one of the bedrooms. Noticed it had a clasp on the outside of the door so it could be locked from the outside with a padlock. Once we walked in, the entire room was full of ventriloquist dummies. Not sure if they were locking them in at night or what.

I had a friend growing up who’s family believed their Great Grandfather had died and been reincarnated as this beautiful koi fish they kept in a massive aquarium in their living room.
All I can say is that fish had a better life than most of us.

A mounted moose head above the fireplace with electric bulbs behind the amber glass eyes that lit up at night.
It seemed as if the moose were staring at you, as if ready to charge.

Just casually walked into their bathroom, needing to piss. I hear a loud humming, like a vent or something. I look up. There is a massive 5 foot hole in their ceiling. Piping, vents everything. Also, there was like 8 rats there which were just looking at me. Never went there again.

They had a pig and fed it bacon.

When my boyfriend and I bought our current house, one of the “rooms” was this GIANT walk in closet in the back hallway leading to the back patio door and it was filled, I mean absolutely filled ceiling to floor, with dolls. Husband and wife lived here, had two kids that were both adults and moved out and no grandchildren. We referred to it as the creepy doll room then and even though it’s our laundry room now it’ll always be the creepy doll room to us.

Dude had his dead lizard in the freezer. Planned to bury him in the summer… Several years before.

My aunt Jenny’s house every inch covered in clown merch. Not a room is free of some sort of clown themed item.

In elementary school, my brother went to hang out with a girl from one of his classes.

In the corner of her room, she kept a water-filled plastic bucket with a lid. Inside were the decomposing remains of her assorted pet frogs and hermit crabs.

She started picking them up and talking to them.

Sorry for my written expression, you might expect some mistakes.
Last Christmas, I was in Germany with my grand-mother, and we were at a family gatering in a biiiig house.
The thing is, there were like 3 families (we knew 2 of them) living there all year long, and of the inhabitants was an old lady, very nice, that wanted to drink vodka shots every nights and have a good laugh. She was really sweet with us, and one morning with my grand-mother, we decided to have breakfast with her, because “Well she lives alone, it’s Chirstmas in a few days, hippie kay hey!”.
So we were sitting at the dining room, my grand mother and her speaking in German (I don’t understand a single word of it lol) and the old lady asked me to grab some orange juice in the fridge. So I gently smile, enter in the kitchen, and …
Oh boy.
Photos. Everywhere. Not an inch without a picture. This was amazing AND terrifying. And the old lady noticed it! So I tried to act like I wasn’t impressed but she was very happy that someone reacted. Like, I don’t know guys, maybe scotching pictures isn’t hard, but she explained to me that it was a collection she gathered for the past 30 YEARS. So for the next half hour, she reviewed every single one of them for me, why she picked it, and why she puted it in this exact spot.
Everytime I think of Christmas, I have this image of her, who keeps puting new pictures God knows where all over her place.
Oh, and of them was Ossama Bin-Laden, because she thought that he was, in her own english words “very handsome and hot”.

A sex dungeon with the walls completely upholstered in white leather.

Carpet in the bathroom

My grandparents raised me, they were hoarders. At one point in time, my great grandmother, who is also a hoarder moved in with us. Needless to say, I’ve seen all kinds of weird things.
Some of them: An eyedropper filled with an acidic cleaning solution. I threw it away, because she got it confused with her regular eye drops but luckily did not use it.
A bag of potato chips filled with mouse food.
A empty pringles can filled with chopsticks that had shoe glue on the tips. Rounded to make makeshift utensils?
Stacks of old newspaper with $20-100 bills hidden inside, along with mouse droppings
A freezer full of elk meat that was more than 20 years old (had turned grey and had a faint rotted smell)
A shelfing unit filled with preserves…of some sort? Not identifiable anymore as they were 20yrs as well.
13 sewing machines, only two in working order.
Probably a lot more that I can’t think of right now. I’m not making fun of this, as it was a mental condition. I spent a lot of my teenage years just cleaning up random shit. It was and still is a VERY frustrating process to keep my grandparents house clean/safe.

A coffin being used as a coffee table. Sigh. They were goths.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

More Boobs - Less Politics ​​

And Now... A Few Links From Our Sponsors