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15 Movie Sex Scenes That Totally Came Out Of Nowhere

If Hollywood has made anything abundantly clear over the years, it’s that sex sells. Audiences love watching beautiful people being heroic and, inevitably, shedding their clothes for some cinematic rutting.

Sex scenes are pretty much pre-requisites in the horror, thriller and action genres, to the point that it’s actually surprising when a movie doesn’t feature them.

In the case of these 15 sex scenes, however, each came wildly out of left-field, emerging from nowhere either for comedic effect, to wake the snoozing audience up, or because the filmmakers had no idea what the hell they were doing.

These instances of cinematic lovemaking, ranging from weirdly earnest to shamelessly ridiculous, all caught audiences off-guard and as such left them either laughing, cringing or most anything other than turned on.

If nothing else, the scenes certainly do stick firmly in the mind, and in some instances even represent the best that the entire film had to offer (oh dear)…

15. Goebbels Going At It – Inglourious Basterds

TWC

Quentin Tarantino’s never been one for subtlety, and in his marvellous war thriller Inglourious Basterds, he bamboozles the audience with a brief yet incredibly jarring – and intentionally so – sex scene.

When protagonist Shosanna (Mélanie Laurent) is first introduced to Joseph Goebbels (Sylvester Groth) and his interpreter Francesca Mondino (Julie Dreyfus), we smash-cut (ha!) to the pair going at it, doggy style with Goebbels squealing in ecstasy no less, for about three seconds.

It’s acted, filmed and edited for maximum comedic effect, and works wonderfully. This wouldn’t be the last time Q.T. sprang a surprise sex scene on audiences – remember the blowjob flashback from The Hateful Eight? – but it’s certainly the most absurdly random one.

14. The Zion Rave – The Matrix Reloaded

Warner Bros.

The whole Zion rave sequence from the first Matrix sequel gets a ton of flak from fans for being both weird and wholly unnecessary.

Though you can perhaps argue that Neo (Keanu Reeves) and Trinity’s (Carrie-Anne Moss) sex scene in the middle of the rave nods towards their greater humanity amid incredibly dark times, that seems pretty damn evident regardless.

The main issue here is that people come to the Matrix movies for awesome effects-driven action, not five-minute rave montages intercut with unappealing B-roll of two actors with middling sexual chemistry rubbing their crotches together.

It feels like deleted scene fodder that somehow made its way into the final cut, and it adds virtually nothing (positive, anyway) to the film.

13. Puppet Sex – Team America: World Police

Paramount

Team America: World Police is of course a parody of the hoo-rah, flag-waving American action films produced by the likes of Michael Bay, and performed with puppets no less.

Practically every scene is engineered for maximum ridiculousness, and this is no more true than in the sex scene between protagonist Gary (Trey Parker) and his love interest Lisa (Kristen Miller).

Granted, it’s always worth expecting the unexpected when it comes to anything from the minds of Matt Stone and Trey Parker, but they really went out there with this hilariously gratuitous puppet shag-fest.

The original unrated scene goes on even longer – complete with defecation and, ahem, “water sports” – while the decidedly tamer theatrical version still sees Gary and Lisa banging things out in a silly number of configurations.

The shock value is the point, but even knowing Stone and Parker’s predilections for pushing the envelope, this was still totally out of nowhere.

12. A Desert Session – Domino

New Line Cinema

The only logical thing to do after improbably surviving a violent car crash in the middle of the desert that should’ve killed you both? Get naked and start banging, of course!

That’s what happens in Tony Scott’s howlingly messy, over-produced 2005 biopic Domino, with the titular bounty hunter (Keira Knightley) and her colleague Choco (Edgar Ramirez) quickly getting their kit off for a spasmodically-edited sex scene that at least feels in step with the movie’s generally excessive style and tone.

It was really just a thinly-veiled excuse to get a height-of-her-fame Knightley topless, adding virtually nothing to the movie character or plot-wise.

11. Cameron Diaz Bangs A Car – The Counselor

Fox

Ridley Scott’s 2013 thriller isn’t fondly remembered by many – or remembered at all, honestly – but it does feature an incredibly bizarre and random sex scene that isn’t so easily shaken.

The Counselor (Michael Fassbender) meets up with his client Reiner (Javier Bardem), who soon enough explains a peculiar tryst he recently had with his girlfriend Malkina (Cameron Diaz).

At this point, we see the pair at a golf course, where Malkina thrusts herself up and down the windshield of Reiner’s car, bringing herself to climax. Hilariously, Reiner compares the act to watching a bottom-feeding fish stuck to the side of an aquarium, and deems it “too gynaecological to be sexy.”

It’s certainly meant to sneak up on the viewer and take them by surprise, and to that end it’s one of the movie’s few truly successful sequences.

10. Getting Down In Chinatown – Crank

Lionsgate

Now, here’s a sex scene that’s unambiguously sudden and shocking completely on purpose: that’s the whole point.

Poor Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) is injected with a drug which will eventually kill him if he can’t keep adrenaline pumping through his body, prompting him to eventually seek out his girlfriend Eve (Amy Smart) and give her a public seeing-to in the middle of Chinatown.

The scene has an unmistakably rapey vibe to begin with, though Eve eventually comes around to the idea of giving the dozens of Chinese onlookers an eyeful.

It’s eventually hilarious and certainly not unnecessary to the plot – it keeps Chev alive – but it nevertheless occurs totally randomly. Amusingly, the scene is repeated in the surprisingly brilliant sequel Crank: High Voltage, this time on a racecourse.

9. Bruce & Miranda’s Fireside Tryst – The Dark Knight Rises

Warner Bros.

Though the sex scene between Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) and “Miranda Tate” (Marion Cotillard) in Christopher Nolan’s trilogy-capping Batman movie isn’t at all gratuitous, it does feel rather on the forced side.

Considering that Wayne and Tate have shared just a few scattered minutes of screen time together up to this point, having them randomly shagging beside the fireplace in Wayne Manor does seem a bit much.

You can argue that Bruce hadn’t hooked up with anyone in eight years and it quickly explains why he trusts her so quickly, but it still plays as quite contrived. If the pair had shared a few more scenes together ahead of it, perhaps it wouldn’t feel quite so forced and out of place.

8. Ray Gets Blown By A Ghost – Ghostbusters

Columbia

Ghostbusters manages to sneak a number of surprisingly adults gags over the heads of younger viewers, and perhaps none is more unexpected than Ray (Dan Aykroyd) getting a sexy surprise from a beautiful female ghost.

We see Ray’s belt being unbuckled and his trousers being unzipped, before we cut to Ray’s cross-eyed, pass-the-bleach orgasm face. It’s not even particularly subtle, though kids won’t really understand what it means.

Apparently the scene originally ran far longer before being trimmed down, and as mildly amusing as it is, it’s pretty close to the line as far as purportedly kid-friendly entertainment goes.

7. Batman & Batgirl – Batman: The Killing Joke

Warner Bros.

Because Alan Moore’s iconic graphical novel The Killing Joke is rather on the short side, the 2016 animated adaptation added a number of subplots to pad things out to feature length.

The most eyebrow-raising and complained-about addition was unquestionably the mind-bogglingly pointless sexual relationship between Batman (Kevin Conroy) and Barbara Gordon aka Batgirl (Tara Strong).

The sex scene in question sees the pair arguing about crime-fighting strategies before she pins him down, starts making out with him and quickly whips her clothes off.

Considering that Batman’s relationship with Barbara is meant to be closer to a fatherly mentor-type role, seeing him grabbing her butt as they get down to business is intensely disturbing and just all sorts of wrong.

It doesn’t help that Barbara demonstrates all the emotional maturity of a recently-deflowered teenager post-coitus, fawning after Batman while he basically gives her the cold shoulder.

There are many things that this adaptation of The Killing Joke needed, and a totally out-of-thin-air sex scene between these superheroes sure wasn’t one of them.

6. The Least Sexy Scene In Cinema History – The Room

TPW Films

Where to even begin with this? Judging Tommy Wiseau’s unintentionally hilarious disasterpiece by any conventional standard is a fool’s errand, but that doesn’t change the fact that the movie’s numerous sex scenes feel horrendously tacked-on.

Even if we accept that Wiseau was trying his damnedest to make an earnest erotic drama, the length, silliness and gratuity of the sex scenes between protagonist Johnny (Wiseau) and his fiancee Lisa (Juliette Danielle) add virtually nothing meaningful to the movie.

Hell, Wiseau even recycles footage from the opening sex scene for another one later on, presumably hoping audiences would be so enrapt by it all that they wouldn’t even notice.

The sex scenes between Johnny and Lisa certainly add to the movie’s perverse watchability, but in any and every narrative sense, they’re functionally useless.

5. Eric Bana Gets Off To Dead People – Munich

Universal

Steven Spielberg’s taut historical thriller concludes with Avner Kaufman (Eric Bana) returning home following a catastrophic mission failure. He goes to bed with his wife, and at this point the legendary filmmaker wants to convey to the audience that the violence Avner has witnessed will remain with him forever.

In a rare moment of clumsiness, Spielberg intercuts a scene of Avner making love to his wife with a flashback to the Munich massacre itself, even shining blinding muzzle flash in Avner’s bedroom as he pumps away.

Though the intent is clear, the editing makes it seem as though Avner is getting off while thinking about men being murdered, which combined with the slow-motion glimpses of a sweat-soaked Bana thrusting away, make the scene an unintentionally hilarious misfire.

Even removed from its unfortunate context, the sex doesn’t really add anything to the movie, and juxtaposing the violent flashbacks against just about anything else would’ve been more effective (and certainly less snigger-worthy).

4. VR Sex – Demolition Man

Warner Bros.

Sylvester Stallone’s 1993 sci-fi action cult classic is a criminally underrated movie for many reasons, cleverly subverting countless genre tropes and cliches as it does.

For one, there’s very little hint of sexual chemistry between protagonist John Spartan (Sylvester Stallone) and female lead Lenina Huxley (Sandra Bullock), but mid-way through the movie, she nevertheless invites him back to her apartment and asks if he’d like to have sex.

Being a straight man with a pulse, he quickly agrees, but doesn’t quite get what he bargained for. Huxley instead places virtual reality helmets on their heads, because “fluid transfer” is outlawed in this seemingly utopian future. When Spartan suggests doing it the old fashioned way (or the “hunka chunka”, as he calls it), she seems positively disgusted.

So, on one hand the scene is totally extraneous to the narrative – it’s easy to imagine it almost ending up on the cutting room floor, to be honest – but it’s also an hilarious subversion of gratuitous sex scenes at the same time. Clever.

3. Zero-Gravity, Time Dilation Sex – Cube 2: Hypercube

Lionsgate

You know what a Cube movie needs? Sex! Said no-one ever. This straight-to-video sequel to the 1997 cult classic thriller features an absurdly tacked-on sex scene between Julia (Lindsey Connell) and Max (Matthew Ferguson), who are of course trapped inside one of the mysterious cube-shaped death traps.

The room they’re trapped within has zero-gravity properties, so they decide to make the best of a bad situation and start having some ridiculous weightless sex.

That’s sadly not the end of the scene, though, as the room is also subject to time dilation, causing the pair to literally bang until they resemble skeletal husks of themselves (as later discovered by the protagonist).

People loved the first Cube movie because it had violent and imaginative death scenes, not because it was sexy. Still, a straight-to-video sequel has to sell itself somehow, right?

2. A Factory Quickie – 8 Mile

Universal

In the middle of this surprisingly riveting drama about a rapper (Eminem) trying to escape his squalid trailer park life, there’s a rather peculiar and incredibly sudden sex scene between Eminem’s B-Rabbit and his love interest Alex (Brittany Murphy).

The sex itself takes place in a secluded area of the factory where Rabbit works, and though you can argue that this highlights the fact that Rabbit can’t take a girl back to his trailer home nor afford to take her to a hotel, the scene as a whole feels incredibly superfluous to the core narrative.

It goes on for several awkward minutes, as Eminem fondles Murphy’s chest like he’s a 12-year-old seeing a woman undressed for the first time, while Murphy looks basically coked-out of her mind for the duration.

Considering how the Rabbit-Alex relationship doesn’t really go anywhere – she bangs somebody else and skips town before the final rap battle – it seems like a pretty transparent excuse to have two stars getting frisky.

1. Grotty, Standing-Up Jail Cell Sex – Bloodrayne

Boll KG

While it’s fair to say that getting to see Kristanna Loken topless might be the sole saving grace of Uwe Boll’s disastrous video game adaptation, it’s also a classically gratuitous sex scene that doesn’t feel remotely earned or even basically logical.

After having an intense conversation with Sebastian (Matthew Davis) about their respective troubled pasts, Rayne (Loken) has a nap and suffers through a nightmare. Immediately after waking up, she ambushes Sebastian, shoves him against her cell door, rips her top off and starts riding him…standing up.

There’s absolutely nothing building up to the scene or telegraphing any sort of sexual tension between these two characters. It happens just because, cementing that Boll knows absolutely nothing about competently assembling a movie with a consistent tone, logic and characterisation.

But again, this brief topless scene is pretty much the only memorable moment in the entire film.

 

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