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15 NEW ANNOYING BUZZWORDS AND WHY THEY SUCK

 

In today’s super-fast, super-connected world, buzzwords come and go like the seasons and tides. They’re here for a brief second, and then they expire to make room for the next batch of stupid. Here are the current worst of the worst.

Buzzword: Turnt
Definition: Fun
Example: “This club is about to get turnt and shit, dog.”
new annoying buzzwords, why these buzzwords suck, turnt
Why it sucks: Seriously, does Team Breezy really have this much influence on the world? People who use “turnt” like to post about their exploits on Instagram while twerking with bae and shouting “YOLO” to their heart’s content.

Buzzword: Blessed
Definition: Successful
Example: “One thousand Vine followers y’all! #Blessed”

 

new annoying buzzwords, why these buzzwords suck, blessed
Why it sucks: In the same way that asshole on Facebook likes to flaunt his life to no end, those who say “blessed” usually do so to hide a pit of nothingness in their soul. It’s usually accompanied by a mixtape plug and maybe a shout-out to Snoop, who never shouts back.
Buzzword: ROFL
Definition: Rolling on the floor laughing
Example: “OMG ROFL”
new annoying buzzwords, why these buzzwords suck, rofl
Why it sucks: Not exactly a new buzzword, but it’s annoying enough to include. It sounds like you’re choking on a piece of steak. You’re not rolling on the floor laughing, and you’re probably not even smiling. Or happy. Just stop.
Buzzword: Amirite?
Definition: Am I right?
Example: “Donald Trump? More like Donald Drumpf. Amirite?”
new annoying buzzwords, why these buzzwords suck, amirite
Why it sucks: I suppose using seven letters as opposed to eight saves time, and possibly money. But Jesus. Amirite sounds like a metal that belongs on the periodic table.
Buzzwords: Triggered
Definition: Offended
Example: “I’m triggered by this article.”
new annoying buzzwords, why these buzzwords suck, triggered
Why it sucks: People sure do seem to be triggered a lot more than they use to. This probably has to do with the fact that millennials operate in outrage culture, and they see the value in being offended. It’s the quickest way to kudos, a pat on the head or possibly a great big emotional insurance payout.
Buzzword: Microaggression
Definition: A negligible form of aggression natural in human interactions that now has weight.
Example: “Did you just say colored pencils instead of pencils of color? Check your microaggressions, bro.”
new annoying buzzwords, why these buzzwords suck, microaggression
Why it sucks: People are dying of black lung in coal mines in Wyoming as I type this, and you’re hurt because someone said something that may or may not have been intentional (usually not). The good news is, bro, you’re about to get an A in sociology class.
Buzzword: Doe
Definition: Though
Example: “Dat ass doe.”
new annoying buzzwords, why these buzzwords suck, doe
Why it sucks: As in “Doe, a deer, a female deer. Ray, a drop of golden sun.” I cringe to think of the possibilities in 2030.
Buzzword: Fleek
Definition: On point, in style.
Example: “Zayn Malik and the Iron Sheik are totes on fleek.”
new annoying buzzwords, why these buzzwords suck, fleek
Why it sucks: God, I hate this word.
Buzzword: Yas
Definition: Yes
Example: “Cat memes! Yaaaaassss.”
new annoying buzzwords, why these buzzwords suck, yas
Why it sucks: Some genius thought it’d be a good idea to use an “a” instead of an “e.” It seems the modern lexicon is catching up to America’s fall into retardation.
Buzzword: Brah
Definition: Bro
Example: “You got no chill, brah.”
new annoying buzzwords, why these buzzwords suck, brah
Why it sucks: It’s OK to use this word in a sarcastic manner; hell, it’s even funny. But if you use it seriously like those aged, crusty hippies in “Lords of Dogtown,” I’ve got some news: You’re an asshole.
Buzzword: Can’t even
Definition: Disbelief to the point of speechlessness
Example: “Wow, you’re really going there? I can’t even.”
new annoying buzzwords, why these buzzwords suck, can't even
Why it sucks: If you say “I can’t even” in an argument, you’ve already lost.
Buzzword: Problematic
Definition: Disapproval
Example: “The word ‘manhole’ is problematic because it implies that womenholes are less than.”
new annoying buzzwords, why these buzzwords suck, problematic
Why it sucks: People who use the word “problematic” to describe things tend to overlook the fact that they also consider themselves the most tolerant snowflake of the bunch. They see no irony here. It’s a cheap and effective way to posture high atop your suburban soapbox and silence any opposition with a negative label.
Buzzword: Fam
Definition: Family
Example: “Wuz good, fam?”
new annoying buzzwords, why these buzzwords suck, fam
Why it sucks: Your real fam will be ashamed to hear you use the word “fam.”
Buzzword: Feels
Definition: Warm ‘n’ fuzzies
Example: “Justin Bieber’s new album gave me the feels.”
new annoying buzzwords, why these buzzwords suck, feels
Why it sucks: I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that people who say “feels” have never felt a feeling in their lives.
Buzzword: Woke
Definition: Aware
Example: “I learned about the Illuminati and I’ve been woke ever since.”
new annoying buzzwords, why these buzzwords suck, woke
Why it sucks: Woke implies that you’ve red-pilled yourself into enlightenment. It’s a shame that people who say woke don’t appear so enlightened to the rest of us. I prefer to stay unwoke, thanks.

 

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