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15 People Share Their Notorious ‘Thanksgiving Incidents’

 

 

1

Gjlynch22 — Grandma, it is time to hand over the reigns.

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My grandma accidentally poured dish soap on the turkey instead of oil… might have been one of the funniest but most upsetting things I’ve ever seen.

2

Skr000 — Haha, the dad slowly dying but playing it cool.

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My dad had an allergic reaction to shrimp cocktail before dinner and his face blew up. He refused to come out of the kitchen or sit at the table with us. He was just eating his food in the kitchen and trying to act like things were normal, like yelling out “Hey, good mashed potatoes this year, huh?”
Meanwhile, my mom is anger-crying at the table, telling us to just eat our fucking food that she worked all day on. All of us kids are just very scared and very confused. My sister starts crying because things are so weird and no one wants to eat because there is so much tension. Eventually, my mom convinces my dad that she needs to take him to the ER. My high school senior-aged brother took the bottle of wine and shared it with seventh grade me and got me drunk for the first time. My parents came home to me throwing up on the bathroom floor.

3

Northsidebill1 — Yeahhh, that’ll definitely ruin a family event/family.

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I was around 5-6 years old. Us kids were playing hide-n-seek and I hid way in the back of Grandma’s closet. While I was hiding back there, I found this beautiful deep red robe, I assumed it belonged to my grandfather who died just after I was born. I tried it on and it was huge on me but the silk felt really smooth and cool, so I decided to go ask my grandma if I could have it to grow into.
Turns out granddad was a Grand Dragon in the Carolina KKK and it was his ceremonial robe. The family members who didnt know about this already were highly upset, the ones who knew were embarrassed as hell. There was a small riot when I walked into the kitchen wearing it. That was an awkward Thanksgiving

4

rightarms — Grandpas don’t give a fuck.

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A family friend, who happened to be lesbian, thought it would be a good idea to carry at least 20 plates across the living room. As one could expect, she dropped all of the plates onto the floor. Then my grandfather, who barely knows this friend says the most infamous words in our families history, “you know those lesbians. Slippery fingers.”

5

LOTR4eva1 — “Ahem, mother if I may kindly interrupt your lovely story, but our house is now ashes.”

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I was probably six or seven at the time. My mom’s candles caught the kitchen curtains and some decorative greenery on fire. My sister and my cousins and I were at the “kid’s table” in the kitchen while the adults were in the dining room, so no one of significance noticed anything except me. My mom threatened us with pain of death if we annoyed the adults during dinner, so I quietly walked to the dining room and stood silently for a minute or two, until someone noticed me, and only then did I politely say, “Sorry, but the kitchen’s on fire.” My mom still gives me grief about my prioritizing politeness over sense….

6

MeridianOne — Then the fire department caught on fire.

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I heard some screaming from outside my apartment. I opened the door and saw this lady running to the dumpster with a turkey still in the pan on fire. She threw it into the dumpster which then caught fire. I called 911 so the fire department could put it out.

7

Guiltnazan — “Forgot” to turn on the oven. Right. They wanted pizza because pizza rules.

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Not really a negative incident but we left my one aunt in charge of cooking the turkey.
Fast forward a couple of hours and we’re all playing cards when someone mentions “wait, why don’t we smell the turkey?” Yep, she completely forgot to turn on the oven and let it sit there for about five hours with no heat.
We had pizza that year.

8

fordfan289 — Hell yes, the ole baby shit fake out.

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So 25 years ago my son was born early Nov. My moms family is all prim and proper. So my adopted brother takes my 2 week old son to check his diaper during dinner. Comes back with diaper in hand saying it doesn’t look right proceed to smell it said something is wrong. So he tasted it. Everyone is flipping out. He filled a clean diaper with pumpkin pie filling it was hilarious.

9

Buttxtouch — She was sentenced to life without pa-rolls. Get it. Fuck it throw me in there too.

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My aunt not being able to come because she was in jail for trying to shoplift a turkey from the grocery

10

HotRod_Al — I like my turkey on FIRE.

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One Thanksgiving my older brother took over cooking duties. He had just graduated from culinary school and was an amazing chef. My aunt and cousins came over to find a juicy Turkey and amazing sides. She likes her turkey burned apparently and made her family not eat the dinner. They all watched us eat. My mom was so pissed they never got invited back to our house for any event for years.

11

mpaug — I gotta say, this stock photo could not match the story any better.

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When I was a little kid, I asked to say the prayer. It was a big honor to get to say it. My family was notorious for fighting so I said my little prayer all nice and cute then ended with a smartass “God please let my family act normal today and not fight”. Before I could blink my German grandmother slapped me across the face really hard which pissed my mother off. Lots of yelling and we left.

12

SexySolemates — Probably a good idea to hold off after that.

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My oldest sister called another sister “a fat bitch” over some stupid fight they’ve been having for years, who then in turn picked up the bowl of green bean casserole and threw it at her. She missed (it wasn’t that far, but I guess she was really angry and that messed up her aim), and it ended up hitting my mother’s favorite painting. It wasn’t salvageable.
We all stopped having Thanksgiving with the entire family after that.

13

Nate2113 — “It is now Thanksgiving tradition to open up and view my brother’s skull.”

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My brother (10) decides to demonstrate how to properly body slam himself onto a bed to the cousins. Proceeds to hit his head on the windowsill behind the bed and crack his head open. We could see skull. Cousin passes out and the parents only console the kid who passes out. 15 stitches later, we got to eat dinner.

14

shhh_its_sneakos — Looks like this year we’re eating melty plastic.

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I thought it would be a funny prank to put a rubber chicken in the oven on Thanksgiving. My mom would laugh and laugh. Ho ho ho, there’s a rubber chicken in the oven, what a gag.
13 year old me didn’t realize that normal adults usually preheat the oven before putting the turkey in.

15

theferrousarchive — Aaaand Thanksgiving is cancelled. Everybody go home.

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Everyone has their plates filled, grandma says grace, then young cousins declares, “I smell dirty pussy!”.

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