15 Red Flags Women Say Have Stopped Them From Going On A Second Date

15 Red Flags Women Say Have Stopped Them From Going On A Second Date


Dating is hard, but most of us just keep doing it until we’re married or dead. We make mistakes, our dates make mistakes—in general, mistakes are made. Some mistakes are preventable, but sometimes the entire person is a mistake. For some reason, it can be really hard to learn from your past mistakes…so maybe try learning from others?

Over on Reddit, women revealed the red flags they see in men that let them know they should run far away and never look back. Dating is such a minefield.

1. Like yungtulip says, if a guy tells you he’s bad news, believe him. Even if every other word out of his mouth is a lie.

Men who very regularly “jokingly” describe themselves as an asshole, dick, etc. or make frequent jokes about lack of ability to be committed or a good SO. I dated a guy like this, mistakingly taking these remarks as self deprecating jokes because of how they were phrased. Then, when they turn out to be a shitty person, it’s not their fault because they “warned you”.

2. Take undonehair‘s advice and don’t allow him to track you like prey.

I was told that when we started dating, I was to install a GPS program onto my cell so he’d know where I was at all times.

He flipped when I told him ‘nope,’ argued that his last gf did it and that’s how he caught her cheating so it was a ‘sign of trust.’ Got tf out of there immediately.

3. As Ezera333 learned, don’t let them keep you away from people you love.

Trying to isolate you from friends or family.

4. Blueyes_85 watches out for guys who won’t let you meet their peeps. What’re you hiding, dude?

A red flag for me is not letting me get close to his family or friends. I had an experience where the guy was lying to me but wouldn’t let me anywhere near friends or family because he knows that the truth would’ve come out.

5. Reminder from crashfest: not all women are the same. If a guy doesn’t know this, you don’t have to be the one to teach him.

Laughing off or ignoring your boundaries or just things you want.

Another one is believing that women are all one way. Plenty of good-natured men who don’t hate women do this. I guess its just a lack of interaction with women, but it can get to the point where they don’t really see you for yourself, or you gotta prove them wrong constantly, or they may have these expectations for you you don’t live up to.

6. Vanishplusxzone‘s guidance: if a guy has a ton of “crazy” exes, take a look at the one constant factor in all his “crazy” relationships—him.

If he won’t give you a damn second. Like, let’s say you don’t text him back for an hour, an afternoon, a workshift, or even a day. Does he blow your phone up? Does he flip out and get mad? Does he get passive aggressive? Or is he wearing his big boy pants?

If he won’t let you pay your own way.

If he’s disrespectful to anyone who’s not you (his kid, sibling, parent, ex, friends, any service staff, etc).

If he has a train of crazy exes. Fairly self explanatory. Either he’s crazy or he has a history of bad decision making that you probably don’t want to be tied to.

If there’s one girl he can’t stop talking about. This can be an ex, or a friend, or a coworker, or a celebrity, or whatever. It was a friend when I made this mistake. You will always be second place, even if he never actually cheats.

7. Like jldvause says, don’t try to tell a woman who she is. So. Exasperating.

One of my biggest red flags is when men try to psycho-analyze me on the first few dates, like if they say “Let me guess you’re one of those girls who x”. This is especially worse if they do it based on how I look. I’ve had guys try to tell me all sorts of things about myself because I was wearing black nail polish. Don’t tell me who I am, dude. You just met me.

8. Hawaiianpizza24‘s words of wisdom: avoid the guys whose lives are still run by their moms.

If they’re too close with their mothers or still relying on their approval like they’re children.

9. Gingersnapsicle knows it’s bullshit when guys try to stop you from having friends of the opposite sex.

Refusing to let you keep friends of the opposite sex, especially if it’s a lifelong friend that you had before you met them.

10. Like PM_ME_TINY_DINOSAURS says, please don’t “actually” us to death.

If he is a “well, actually” guy.

No matter what anyone says, he knows better even if the person is offering just an opinion.

11. Abaiyachi is right about this—nothing is a bigger turnoff than being rude to a service person.

If everyone is “stupid” except him in his mind, abort mission.

Also, never date anyone who can’t even summon up the decency to be polite to a server, cashier, or other customer service. That’ll be you once the honeymoon period is over.

12. BrushedYourTeethYet advises women to avoid the guys that try to make them feel bad for having feelings.

If he ever makes you feel like you shouldn’t be upset about something, or makes it seem like you are overreacting, or that you getting angry/upset at him hurts his feelings.

That’s gaslighting in an emotionally manipulative sense. Get out. Run away.

13. As youcancallmeeliza points out, “no” means “no.” It’s 2017, how are we still having to explain this?

When they hear “no” as “try harder, I’m playing hard to get ;)”

14. A dude who needs to be rescued is not a dude you want to be dating, as MavisBeacon123 points out.

If he tells you some major problem in his life is “fixed” or not an issue when you’re around, he is likely manipulating you. It’s normal to feel happy and less stressed when we’re in love, but if someone turns you into a solution to their issues then that should be a major red flag. If he has unresolved psychological issues or substance abuse problems, he has to take care of them himself. Making you feel guilty for not “saving” him by being his girlfriend is incredibly deceitful and toxic behavior. Never go into a relationship thinking you can change someone.

15. CheckmateAphids pretty much nailed it.

Occupation: matador.

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