15 Things In Your Home That Will Prevent You From Getting Laid
It’s no secret that when it comes to cleanliness, men just aren’t the best. Sure, there are some guys out there who know how to keep a clean house, but most of the time, dirty bachelor pads are the norm.
Throughout time, it’s been a running joke that women are meant to keep homes clean for their men – truth be told, men need to be carrying the same weight when it comes to keeping the house tidy. Not only do you look lazy, but you look like you’re still trapped at 16, waiting for your mom to come clean up after you.
There comes a time in relationships where your girlfriend is going to have to see your home. Although it may not seem like a big step, it is. Allowing her into your home is allowing her to see what kind of person you truly are – she’s going to see your bedroom, bathroom, and any other weird things you have lying around in your man cave. If you really like the girl, it’s probably a good idea to clean and not invite her over spontaneously when you haven’t had a chance to look around. Relationships are hard. Not only do you have to pay attention to personality traits, but you have to pay attention to what your personal space looks like too. Women think about how relationships are going to be in the future, so if she walks into your home and sees nothing but filth, she’s not going to want to stick around to become your second mother and live-in maid. Here are 15 things she could find in your house that will turn her off.
15. Carpet stains
Stains of any sort are gross – even the word “stain” is gross. If she walks into your apartment or house and sees that you have tons of carpet stains and no animals to blame, she’s going to wonder where those came from. Renting a carpet cleaner for the weekend or investing in some decorative throw rugs is always a good idea if your carpet is less than perfect. It’s fine if there’s one or two throughout your apartment, but if you have one or two every five steps, there’s going to be issues.
14. Dusty furniture
Dust is one of the most annoying things for anybody who knows anything about cleaning. It spreads, it’s hard to get rid of, and some people are even allergic to it. If a girl, or anybody else for that matter, walks into your house and sees every single table and piece of furniture covered in dust, they’re definitely going to question when the last time you decided to wipe down your furniture was.
13. Overflowing trashcan
A full trashcan is one of the most annoying things to have to deal with. Anytime you want to kill a bag of chips or eat anything that comes with a wrapper, you’re going to have to throw it away. Once your trashcan becomes full, it’s just a never-ending game of pushing the trash down another inch until there’s literally no more space. An overflowing trashcan just makes you look lazy and dirty – just take it out!
12. Toilet seat is up
Girls complain a lot about men leaving the toilet seat up, but believe her when she says it’s a real issue. Not only can women literally fall backwards into the toilet if they don’t notice, but it just looks gross. Underneath the toilet seat is where the debris really collects (especially if you don’t clean your toilet often) so if it’s up and she sees that, it’s guaranteed she’s not going to ever want to use your bathroom again. Plus, putting in the extra effort to make sure the seat is down for her is going to score you points.
11. Dirty dishes
Dirty dishes gross out most people – nobody wants to see your dinner from three nights ago that’s been crusted onto the plate out in the living room. In fact, nobody wants to see it in the kitchen either. Old food and old dishwater are some of the nastiest things to see in your own house, so it’s a given that nobody is going to want to see it in your house either. If you know you have company coming, do the dishes.
10. Weird collections
Most people have collections, even if they don’t know. If you have over two hundred hard copies of movies ready to go in your living room, that’s qualified as a collection. Video games as well! For men, both of these things are pretty normal collections. However, if you have the full collection plus limited edition sets of My Little Pony on display, some red flags are going to be raised. Girls can put up with some weird obsessions, but there is such a thing as too weird. If you have a collection that even you question, maybe put it away.
9. Old food
Going along with the “nobody wants to see your dirty dishes” mantra, is the fact that nobody wants to see old food lying around. Some nights, it’s understandable to be too lazy to cook dinner. Usually, this results in ordering pizza. After you eat that pizza, make sure you get rid of it accordingly. A girl is not going to be turned on when she walks into your kitchen and sees a pizza from three nights ago, hard as a rock and with a fly or two hanging out near it.
8. Dirty laundry
It can be widely agreed upon that dirty laundry that’s been sitting around for a while develops an awful smell. There are even some people who are okay with wearing dirty laundry out in public, and it’s always easy to figure out who it is because of the atrocious smell. If your girlfriend walks into your room and sees a mountainous pile of laundry, she’s most likely going to poke fun at you for it – but deep down inside, she’s serious about you having to get that taken care of.
7. Filthy bathroom
The worst bathrooms I’ve ever been in have either been gas station restrooms or bathrooms at parties. Those bathrooms always smell like piss perpetually, have toothpaste-crusted sink handles, and have smudgy mirrors. Without out a doubt, men’s bathrooms are disgusting. Your girlfriend is not going to be excited to come back over or live with you in the future if your bathroom fits the description above.
6. Smelly bedroom
The bedroom is apparently where all the magic happens, so it’s probably best to make sure it’s always in tip-top shape. If your girlfriend walks into your bedroom and it’s made up of dirty laundry, old food, and leftover beer cans, it’s probably going to have a smell. On top of that, the bedding usually absorbs whatever smell the room has, so it’s not like laying in your bed is going to make it any better. The smart choice would be to invest in some air freshener and maybe just don’t eat in your room anymore.
5. Empty alcohol bottles
Women can get down just as hard as men when it comes to drinking – beer, wine, hard liquor, you name it, girls can also drink it. Just because girls know how to have a good time doesn’t mean they do it all the time. If your house has empty bottles of Jack Daniel’s and beer cans in every room, she’s definitely going to question if you have a problem or if you just don’t clean your house. Either way, it’s not a good impression to leave.
4. Smelly bathroom
If you haven’t caught on yet, smelly rooms just aren’t going to be a girl’s favorite. Guys may gripe and complain that girls use candles that are too smelly or have homes that smell too girly, but at least they don’t smell like whatever you did in the bathroom last. Guys, especially when they live alone, don’t understand the importance of using air freshener or a candle every now and then.
3. Used tissues
Everybody knows that when you’re sick, it’s common to use a whole box of tissue wipes. However, if you decide to leave those laying all around your home, it’s enough to make your girlfriend gag. No matter where you put your nose on that, she’s not going to want to touch it. Outside of being sick, we all know what else men use tissue wipes for – so if she finds them in your bedroom, you probably just went from cute to sleazy really fast.
Practicing safe sex is important no matter how long you’ve been in a relationship with somebody. Girls aren’t going to be grossed out if you have condoms in your wallet or in your nightstand, but if you have them on display or out of the box on your nightstand, there’s going to be an issue. If you have them strewn out of the box, it just looks like you’ve used them recently – which is most definitely going to land you in the doghouse (or single).
1. Pictures of women
No matter how secure your girlfriend may be, she’s not going to like if you have lots of pictures of women in your home. This doesn’t mean that you can’t have pictures of you with your family, but the half-naked picture of Kate Upton that’s right by your bed is probably going to have to go. Not only does this scream “I still think I’m 16,” but it’s just insensitive to whoever you’re dating as well. Having nude posters and some girl in a thong as your computer screensaver is plain disrespectful if you have a girlfriend – so grow up and find other things to look at.
15 Things In Your Home That Will Prevent You From Getting Laid