15 Tinder Dates That Went to Sh*t

1. “Waiting for my date at the mall and locking eye contact with him only to see him turn around and walk away.”


2. “He made me watch his homemade rap videos and tried to like his own FB page on my phone.”


3. “I met a girl for a date who turned out to be much better looking than her photos which is always a nice surprise. The date went well, just dinner and a walk, and we said our goodbyes. The next day she invited me out to a friend’s birthday party downtown as her +1. I wanted to go but I had to work the next day and wanted to be able to drink a little since it was a bunch of people I didn’t know. She said “That’s alright, you can park at my house and sleep over.”(Cha-ching!) So, of course, I said yes. Fast forward to the middle of the party, I’m enjoying myself chatting it up with her friends and having a good time and next thing I know she absolutely loses it and storms out of the bar leaving me there. Drunk. With her friends. I still have no idea why. One of them told me “She wants you to go after her!” and I said “Fuck that, it’s our second date.” which not a single person blamed me for. I stayed at the party and switched to water while I continued talking with her friends. That was over a year ago, and I still regularly hang out with them. They have since stopped talking to her.”



4. “Perfectly nice date, 20 minutes in to it, she says, “I’ll be honest. I know what I need in a man, and you don’t have it.” At 25, I would have been crushed. Wondering what “it” was would’ve kept me up for days. Being 35, I thanked her for being blunt and was happy to have an unexpectedly free evening.”


5. “Not me, but my friend went on a really great Tinder date a few months ago. She said they really seemed to hit it off — they got some margaritas, had a fun but very deep conversation about life and other philosophical things and then made out a little bit. She didn’t hear from him the rest of the weekend, which felt odd bc she had such a great feeling about him. She usually has a great radar with these things. She ended up stalking him on Facebook to see what he was up to. He died.”


6. “She was lying about her age. And wanted a baby, immediately.”



7. “We went to her place, ate mushrooms and had sex. She was a biter, and it was like having sex with a giant spider. Needless to say I didn’t have a great time, and she kicked me out. I sat in my car outside for two long hours tripping on mushrooms trying to come to terms with what felt like dying. Woke up the next morning with large bite marks. Never do mushrooms with strange tinder girls.”


8. “Friend from class matched with my then girlfriend (now ex). He informed me of the match and proceeded to set up a coffee date. Instead of him showing up to the date, I did. I had the pleasure of watching my girlfriend freak the fuck out.”


9. “Met up for a coffee after having quite a nice chat over tinder for a few days. He sits down and says “hey nice to meet you”, then continues to pull out his laptop and sit there in complete silence for the next hour. I had nothing with me but my phone, since I thought coffee date means conversation. Should’ve left sooner.”



10. “Went on the date, five minutes into the conversation he flips it to 9/11 conspiracy theories and doesn’t drop it even after I explicitly state that the conversation is inappropriate. Told him later by text that I didn’t think we were that compatible, cue 2 months of 3am phone calls where he pretends to be a furniture/renovation company that had problems delivering my order…”


11. “We went on three dates. The next time she asked to see me, I told her I was visiting family and wouldn’t be available until the following weekend. In that moment, she freaked out and sent me a 7 page long text about how I destroyed what could have been a perfect relationship and that she wanted to marry me still if I would just put her first. She then left me a voicemail of her singing “U Got It Bad” by Usher while crying and saying she loved me over and over. Two days later she sent me pictures of her burning a bucket list she had made for us. Glad I got out of that one unscathed.”


12. “I had a date with this guy who apparently didn’t have the guts to approach me and ask me something along the lines of “Hey, are you ?” Instead, he took a picture of me from afar and sent it to me via messenger, asking if I’m the person in that pic.”



13. “She tried to sell me insurance over dinner. She had a full pitch prepared and even insulted me for choosing my current provider. I split the check and then I split.” “Everything seemed normal until about 45 minutes in when she decided to tell me all about the time she was kidnapped and all the associated lingering psychological issues still present. Within the first hour of meeting, I remind you.”


14. “Went on a date with a woman to a pub where, during the conversation we had, she wanted to take a picture of my drivers license to send and show to her sister via text. Two minutes later, the woman brought up my DUI I had 5 years ago. Her sister did a criminal background check on me, One and a half hours into the date.”


15. “I went out with a girl a few weeks ago who spoke of nothing but her gluten intolerance for the entire two days before our date. Three minutes into it she orders a Coors light. When I asked her how that’s possible she tells me that her gluten intolerance is only from food and not from alcohol. Paid for my drink and hers then I just left.”

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