15 Waiters in Expensive Restaurants Share The Snootiest Sh*t They’ve Heard


15 Waiters in Expensive Restaurants Share The Snootiest Sh*t They’ve Heard

If you’ve ever worked at a country club or high-end restaurant, then you’ve probably come face to face with some high-class assholes who think they’re better than the average person.

Their signature trademark is yelling at waitresses and bartenders and other staff about extremely trivial problems; for example the Grey Poupon doesn’t taste like it has any diamonds in it. And even after you explain to them, “Sir, mustard doesn’t contain any precious stones in the ingredients, I’m sorry”, they still insist on berating.

So, here’s to all the brave souls that have to endure the rich and the famous and their fancy douchbaggery.

via shutterstock

1. HURR1CANE_WR1ST gets a hole-in-1 ass customer:

I used to bartend at a high-end golf club. This one really stands out for some reason. Customer: “did you go to public school?” Me: “yes.” Customer: “yeah, I can tell.” Dude was a dick.

2. questo_pulcino slings drinks to drunks:

I was 21 bartending in a snooty restaurant often frequented by yachties. “Oh you look about my daughter’s age, except she’s away at college. A career is really important to her.” I was graduating that year and off to grad school the following year. “Wow, that’s great. Another Grey Goose?”

3. norksanddorks gets burned:

“I pay more in tax than you earn in a year”. He was probably right 🙁

4. kylewhatever gets the doggy pee-pad treatment:

I worked valet for about a year at a really classy hotel downtown.

We routinely had Mercedes, BMW’s, Range Rovers, Football player’s candy colored cars, Porsche’s, etc, pretty much any kind of high end, non sports car, I drove.

One time, a guy pulled up in a decent Mercedes, not an AMG or anything super high dollar. He seemed cool at first, but after I gave him the valet claim ticket, he casually went to his back seat and retrieved a newspaper.

As I still holding the driver’s door open, he starts disassembling the newspaper like he was about to clean up cat piss off the hardwood floor. Once he had 4-5 single sheets of newspaper, he began setting the newspaper on his driver’s seat, as to protect it from my apparently dirty ass.

He didn’t even have to say anything, and it was the rudest insult I had ever received.

via shutterstock

5. vanillachaide has her name insulted:

I work in a snooty people grocery store, so hopefully this counts. Once when I was ringing a rich lady’s groceries, she took a look at my nametag (I’ve got a fairly normal name, but it’s spelled… creatively -_-) and she said “It’s surprising you could get a job at all, with a name like that”.

I know I’ve got a stripper name. It wasn’t my choice.

Edit: for those asking, it’s Jayde.

6. GronkLord receives the ultimate insult:

worked a banquet hall @ a wedding as my first job and a guy once called me “an imperious cretin”. To this day I’m trying to think of a better insult….nothing yet

7. Wowzeeer should have smashed an iPhone that night:

Few years back, i used to work in a Thai restaurant. Pretty fancy one. It was a slow night on a Tuesday. Two girls with hermes bags came in and ordered a bottle of riesling. I went to their table to check on them and they wanted me to take their pictures, as i was about to grab her phone, she said, “that LV iphone case worth more than what you make in a month, so be careful.”

via shutterstock

8. Adam657 fucks up the mustard:

A girl I know got screamed at for not opening the mustard she served. She works in a relatively posh place, and the mustard comes in this little individual glass pot (I think Colman’s or whatever). She hadn’t opened the mustard for them and was yelled at. “I work for (local paper) they will be hearing about this! I’ve never been so offended! Disgusting behaviour.”

She just stood there aghast and like “did you want me to open the mustard… now?”

more yelling

9. renutafunhouse gets boned:

Was working a catering job for a 4th of July party at an exclusive yacht club.

Went about my business and was clearing used plates from tables. After stacking as many plates as humanly possible, I turn and start walking back to the kitchen. Next thing I know I feel something hit me in the back of the head. A chicken bone. A grown man who was watching me the entire time, with his four-year-old son at his side nonetheless, decided he didn’t want to wait the 5 minutes it’d take for someone else to come by and clear again, so he chucked it at my head. And then cracked up while pointing at me.

Calmly set down my tray, and just walked on out without saying a word.

10. JunkyThought is fully filleted:

“This lamb isn’t properly butterflied; you’re a moron.”

11. unfetteredbymemes smells something rude:

I worked at a country club in Texas for four months.

I asked a customer who was fairly drunk, if needed anything else besides his next apple whiskey drink.

He said, “Some air that lacks the stink of welfare.”

12. Goonzoo meets a real cash cab:

Not a waiter, but one old guy next to me wanted to pay his meal. He was there with 4 other people.

The waiter asked him if he wants to pay with debit card or to pay in cash. Old guy answered “I only pay with debit card for things above 5000 Euro” in the nastiest tone possible.

13. MMaxs is thrown to the dogs:

I greeted some older woman after there [sic] meal and asked “did you enjoy meal, ladies?” one of them replied “That their dog ate better food at home.” I had no response for this and hurriedly gathered up the rest of the plates and left.

The plates were all empty.

14. drunkomatic schools the rich:

Guest says, “Do you know what anthropomorphism means?”

I say, “The act of giving human characteristics to something inhuman.”

Guest turns to his date and says, “Well, it looks like you should be the one waiting tables.”

15. vinsomm meets a true country asshat:

We had Toby Keith in our private dining room once as he would come into our place every time he was in town. One of my server assistants who was pretty young was pushing a cart of whiskey bottles and the cart fell over right in front of him. He said “hey you- why don’t you poor [sic] me another drink before you clean up that mess you made” . His tone was awful and it irked the shit out of me. She started crying out of embarrassment/fear and he turned to me and said “why don’t you go pour me a drink then”.

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