15 Window Washers Reveal The Strangest Things They’ve Seen

15 Window Washers Reveal The Strangest Things They’ve Seen



They say that eyes are the windows to the soul, but in this case windows are the window to the soul.

We’re not sure what we’d do if we realized a window washer was watching us in what we believed to be our most private of moments and we sure as hell don’t want to find out.

Luckily, these stories are all about strangers on the internet and not us!


via shutterstock

1. BOBANYPC gets an eyefull.

Finally a question I can answer. We were cleaning a fairly tall building 12 stories iirc adjacent to an equally tall government office building. This office building had several bedrooms on the top level, which we could see from the roof but certainly not from the ground. From where we were standing this bedroom was about ten meters away. As we’re setting up a naked dude jumps onto his bed with an ipad and starts masturbating furiously. Facing us.

Not weird necessarily but certainly unpleasant

2. McFellezJr witnesses a Furry orgy.

Few years back at the age of 17 I took a full 3 day safety training and did this as a part time to get quick cash. This was in Chicago at the Holiday Inn.

Me and my partner(25-ish) at the time where almost done with our shift as it become close to dark. As we get to this one room, it was oddly brighter…. then usually rooms. When we reach it, we find a group of people in animal costumes rubbing and smacking each other. Me and my partner were like wtf? The room was full of glitter on the floors and had a bunch of rainbow type shit sprayed on the walls. We wanted to finish quick. As we started decending they caught us and gave us what looked like sharp looks, but we couldn’t tell because of the wolf heads and animal heads and bodies they had on. We booked it and told the front desk what was up. After they checked it out they got back to us and told us they kicked them out and damages the room. So it was out of service last time I checked.

via vice

3. ssuss spies an alligator.

High rise window cleaner here. The most bizarre thing I saw had to be a taxidermy alligator with bird wings sprouting out of its back, chained to the ceiling. Also, a wooden penis in the window sill that I could only guess was an art piece of some sort.

4. dhammadan meets a camgirl.

I had descended down to about the 20th floor of a 35 story building. The blinds were closed… Mostly. I was doing post construction cleaning (scraping glue, calking, cement and other unpleasantness from the windows and frames) so I spent quite a bit more time on each window than when purely washing. I get to the bottom section of one of the larger windows to find this small opening in the blinds. Behind them is a rather shapely woman naked, with her back turned to me. I pull out my scraper to take some more stubborn bits off the window and end up making some noise which startles the lass. When she turns I can see her laptop facing us webcam on. There is a steady stream of chat flowing on the right hand side. It was then I knew I’d come across a cam girl. She came over to the window. I thought she’d be mad but instead she opened the blinds and played with herself. Just then, the suction cup I was using for stability against the building released causing me to nearly soil myself. Not bad for 2 weeks in to the job.

5. CanadianMayhem walks into a closet.

I work for my dad during the summer for his window washing company ( check my post history ) and one day I’m working in an office at like 8 pm at night ( we were doing interior cleaning) and as usual every one is mostly gone but some late workers. Well that night we just arrived on a new floor and as we turn the corner to start, my dad and I walk in on 2 guys full on making out. Definitely not expected but we all laughed it off. This was an admin building for a bank in Montreal btw

6. khatuul has a coffee date.

Window cleaner based in Fort Worth and I once had someone open the window and offer me coffee while in mid-air. It was quite refreshing.

7. TypicalTryst makes a friend.

Not a window washer but building restoration. It took us about a week to finish a drop of fifteen floors so for a full week, as our lift went up every morning we were treated to a pretty damn attractive woman in her late forties standing stark naked in front of her sliding glass door, drinking a cup. She always smiled and waved and never seem the least bit embarrassed.

8. dixon_cox pets a pussy.

I played with an orange kitty through a window once. That was nice. I also kicked through someone’s screen because the window was open. Surprisingly no naked people so far.

9. tobin-yo spots a stoner.

Noting too strange but a third floor pole dancing class (got to do two passes on their windows hehe). The other was a guy smoking a bong by the window, think me dropping in blew his mind a bit because he looked pretty shocked.

10. smartlikefox sees real life Big.

I worked on swing stages doing concrete finishing and I once saw a grown man jumping on his bed in his tighty whities. I wasn’t even shocked. He just looked like he was having so much fun.

via shutterstock

11. jackie_algoma gives out a discount.

Not so much a window washer but window replacer. Woman (mid 20s daughter of the homeowner) walked into the room like she had 1000 times before, took her clothes off faster than I could say “excuse me mam, allow me to avert my gaze” but when I did get words out she screamed and ran out of the room. A little while later her mother came out and asked if that meant they’d get a discount.

12. monsterbiker is a bit of a creeper.

Years ago I was washing windows on a Chicago condominium in the gold coast on a 40′ long stage. We were instructed not to work past 5pm due to residents privacy. Fine, but it was 4:30pm, my partner and i wanted to squeeze in 1 more drop. But we’d have to work fast.

We approached the 23rd floor and what to my surprise did I see on the kitchen table!?! A young couple bare naked going at it. I recognised the female, she was the pool life guard! They were 5′ away from me. It was surreal. I was shocked, I froze. She was on the bottom w/her legs in the air and she looked at me w/o any interruption and said nothing to her partner. (that turned me on!) Meanwhile, my window washing partner was done w/his half and was already moving to the next floor down. I was excited and did not want to move. The stage was slanting in an angle, everything was sliding away from me. I couldn’t even talk.

My partner marched toward me wondering why I did not do anything and he witnessed the fiasco himself. And knocked on the window! The guy, who was nailing the female was standing above her turned around and w/o pulling out attempted to lower the blinds reaching out with one hand but only knocked them to the ground. Heck w/it and continued to pound her hot body on the kitchen table.

Incredible. (I love telling that story)

13. GHostPR can never unsee what he saw.

Someone was shitting on the bed.

14. surra_day is on the other side of the glass.

I was at the gyno for my annual visit waiting for the doctor to come in. I’m sitting in the chair, feet in the stirrups facing the window when I start to see the ropes of them coming up to next floor. I have never been frozen in fear like that in my life haha. Luckily the receptionist ran in at the last second and closed the blinds before they totally came up. Phew!

15. wogsy is a true hero.

Oh boy this is my time to shine baby.

Ive been an industrial window cleaner for 20 years now. This is me Other pics there too.

But basically ive seen lots and lots of nudity. Lots of drugs, and lots of naked/half naked people in bed. The usual stuff really.

Had one old lady (maybe 50-60-ish) in a dressing gown sat on her chair while on the phone looking directly at me. Nothing new there we get watched a lot but this old lady opened up her dressing gown, spread one of her legs on the arm of the chair and starts frigging off right in front of me. While still chatting away on the phone too with a huge smile on her face. I was thinking maybe she was on a sex line or something and me being there was just a little extra thrill. She had a wicked grin on her face and was rubbing that pussy fast i remember that.

Either way it was just my luck that the first time some woman exposes her moggy to me on purpose its an old dear who was ugly as sin. Why can’t i get the 22 year old hotties doing that shit.

Another funny memory i have is about 6 years ago i was working on the Manchester Universities doing the student digs on some tower block. I abseiled down to this window and seen a massive fat bird right in front of the window with no knickers on and her shirt tucked under her chin exposing her breasts. She was (i think) getting tissue balls out of her pubes.

I abseil down and just see these 2 fried egg titties looking at me, a big round white belly and a big black bush inbetween her legs. She was looking down at her bush, t-shirt tucked under her chin while running her fingers through her pubes and flicking whatever it was away. Now im about 1 foot away from the girl but she has her head down and seems to be quite captivated in what she is doing. I go through the usual thought of ”Should i just leave this window and carry on down as if she see’s me she could say i was perving on her and i dont want them accusations. (maybe i was having a perv but i don’t want my boss to know that do i). Or should i just carry on pretending everything is normal”. Well I carried on obviously as there is always the chance these people a day or 2 later will complain that their windows weren’t cleaned. Which means i gotta go back to the job, re-rig all my ropes up, get permits, risk assesments and all that shit just for 1 freaking window. Been there done that before, so yeah, i just carried on.

So this chick finally sees me after about 10 seconds of rifling through her bush, has a look of horror on her face and immediatelly closes the curtains. I wasn’t looking directly at her obviously but i can see her her in my peripheral vision. The poor girl got a helluva shock.

Thing i was thinking though is why would you stand in front of a window while you rummage through your pubes?? Maybe the light was bad in her room or something. But people can see my ropes outside the window way before i come down. You’d think some people would be like ”shit, the window cleaner is coming, best not to stand in front of the window half naked” or maybe she was just putting on a show. There is a certain voyeurism there i think. Some chicks love to tease the window cleaner. Ive been flashed a fair few times.

Ive seen naked dudes in bed, naked chicks, seen one woman getting rogered from behind something fierce while she was just playing on her phone. Saw a shitload of weed and coke, a few dirty spoons from the smack heads. But what is surprising to me is the absolute squalor some people live in. Im talking well off people too. People in luxurious apartments that cost 1-2K a week to rent. You’d be amazed how some people are so clean and presentable in their daily lives but live in filth. One woman i remember (a doctor around mid 40’s) had just bags and bags of trash waist high all around the place. it was piled up agaisnt the windows. Bedroom was the same with a dirty matress on the floor where she sleeps. Crazy shit. Its probably just laziness, or maybe its some mental thing? I don’t know, im just a lowly window cleaner.

But honestly, its a great job. Pays good money and i work outdoors for a living. Always in a different place most days. I do work all over the UK and i kinda enjoy working away from home. I get to see new places, go out on the piss with the lads and we eat like kings seeing as its on the companies dollar. Working in different locations and meeting new people helps keep it fresh as working in an office looking at the same 4 walls day after day would probably send me batty.

I can have a smoke/coffee break anytime i want. Me and my lads are basically our own bosses and as long as we get the job done on time with no complaints then all is good with the world. Some days we just spend all day in the lift/elevator housing reading newspapers and drinking coffee until we all get really bored and we’re like ”weather aint gonna clear, lets go home and pull it back tomorrow”. I managed to watch the entire series of breaking bad while at work over the course of a couple of months or so. Its cushy as hell. And once you do your rope access training then its honestly a piece of cake.

And its nowhere near as dangerous as people think. As long as you do your basic checks, make sure the anchor points have been tested. watch the sharp edges on ledges for abrasion etc then its virtually impossible to kill yourself. Unless you actually take a knife out and start cutting your ropes while you’re on them its pretty darn difficult to have an accident. Complacency is a killer in this game so if you keep your wits about you, have your mates watch your back then you’ll be just fine. 18 years abseiling now and not a sniff of an accident. (touch wood)

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