15 of the Worst Things Teachers Have Ever Said At School
Teachers hear a lot of shit coming from students, especially when they have to deal with angsty boner machines in high school.
But, on the rare occasion, a teacher will do a real big whoopsies and say something terrible in front of their students that can never be forgotten.
Too bad we can’t give ol’ teach a suspension or an entire week of after-school suspension.
1. bassolune has a trashy teacher:
When I was about 9 our teacher asked the class what we wanted to be when we grew up. One kid said he wanted to be a bin-man (a garbage man, for US readers?). The teacher went into a rant, saying that jobs like these were for the lowest, most unintelligent people in society, and that he should aspire to be better than that. Finally she asked why he wanted to be a bin-man anyway. “Because my dad’s one”, said the kid, by now in tears.
2. Rushton6 hears a proper roast:
I was at rugby practice and we were doing stretches and we were all lying on the ground and my friend has his head positioned close to my other friends crotch. My friend says quite loudly “it looks like you’re about to suck my dick” when he realised that our coach (who is also a teacher at out school) heard him he started to apologize for swearing when our coach says “he wants a meal not a snack”
3. Ydocnosila knows a creep:
Male teacher was talking about the dress code to me and a friend of mine during lunch. He stated he doesn’t like “seeing a bunch of fatties in short shorts” but then gestured towards a thin girl in short shorts walking up the step and said “but that.. That I don’t mind”
4. Bageeka throws paper:
“Whoever threw that paper…. your mom’s a hoe”
5. wenwo16 learns a dark secret:
One day in a history class my professor (who is at least 80 years old) was talking about bed fellows in Victorian England, and was saying how common it was for men to sleep together. He used himself as an example and said that he used to sleep with his grandfather all the time as a child. After he said that, though, he looked at the ground and said to himself, audibly, “I still wonder to this day if he molested me…” Then he looked back at us, shrugged, and said, “Oh well, too late to know for sure now!” It was fascinating to see someone overcome deep-seated trauma so quickly.
6. aberrasian had a sadistic elementary school teacher:
“Congratulations, you’re a marriage of dumbos made in heaven.”
I had a teacher in elementary school who after every test would pick the lowest scoring girl and lowest scoring boy in the class and force them to hold hands, perform a brief marriage ceremony on them in front of the laughing class (without the kissing part obvs), and have all the other kids sing “Here comes the Bride”.
Then she’d have the two kids sit together at the side of the classroom for rest of the lesson, and they weren’t allowed to stop holding hands until bell rang.
The answer is yes. That did happen to me. Three weeks was about how long the teasing lasted, and six years was roughly how long me and the “groom” avoided speaking to each other after that out of residual humiliation.
Edit: This was around the early 00’s. I’m not from the US, I didn’t tell my parents, I honestly didn’t think it was such a honking huge giant deal. Kids get punished all the time, right? I’m from a culture where teachers are considered authority figures to be respected, so no adult would have defended us (unless I was being physically hurt or something, probably).
I’m surprised so many of you are so outraged on my behalf! You’re sweethearts. I’m not permanent scarred by this, just kinda salty. Can’t speak for the other kids affected though, but after a days’ worth of angry crying nobody seemed overly traumatised.
MOST IMPORTANT EDIT: Did it work? Were you a better student from then on? Did you studiously avoid getting the lowest grade in class?
7. troha304 is a thumb sucker:
This wasn’t said directly to me but… In middle school I had a teacher grab me from the lunch table and drag me to the principals office. After grilling me for awhile and telling me I know what I did, they finally revealed to me that the teacher stated she witnessed me suggestively sucking my thumb while staring at a female friend of mine.
I was just biting my nail.
8. wearethefreaks gets a lesson in alcoholism 101:
Used to have an alcoholic teacher who, when handing out textbooks, slammed one down in front of a larger boy in our class, pointed at him and said ‘don’t eat it.’ Yeah the kid cried.
9. TrinixDMorrison’s professor is racist af:
One of my college professor straight up said one day “From my experience, African American students tend to drop my class the most. It’s probably too hard for them. Any of you notice how we haven’t seen that one black chick who used to sit in the front row for weeks now?”
Guy was immediately shot down when the “black chick” raised her hand from the back row saying she’d been here the whole time; she just moved to the back row cuz that’s where her boyfriend was sitting.
10. neekix witnesses a real facepalm:
Not really the worst but once in high school my teacher legitimately asked the blind girl in our class why she wasn’t going up to check her grade on the grade sheet.
11. Tess_Mac‘s teacher has a heart of stone:
Age of 9, lost my father in a horrific accident. I returned to school a few days later and after attendance was taken the teacher said to me in front of the class “The class got together and sent flowers to your father’s funeral, I paid your share so make sure you bring in $2 tommorow as I need to be paid back”. She then went on with the lessons
(As many have asked what happened, I asked to see the school Nurse and was sent home. Once home I told my Mother. Returning to school 2 days later I never saw the teacher again. I don’t know how my Mother handled it)
12. bloodbeardthepirate witnesses the end of a man’s reputation:
My 8th grade science teacher would pick on this one girl in the front row. One time he was going to make a joke about her breath being so bad he could see it. Instead he said ” I can see your breasts” to a 14 year old girl
13. SethPatton1999 sees a teacher give up:
Chemistry teacher that got annoyed easily with my class specifically: “alright fuck this, you’re all going to fail this exam.” People in my class would never shut up, and it was the last week of school so he was just done with us.
14. crittybobitty gets a new daddy:
My history teacher called himself big daddy
15. RukusNZ experiences the cruelest teacher of them all:
“I know it’s the last day of term but we will be working right up to the bell.”