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16 Brave Souls Shared Their Most Embarrassing Medical Emergencies

 

“Stapled my thumbs together. After 3 minutes of painful hand spinning I used my teeth to pull it out.

Was playing with a stapler in my hands while watching my brother playing some PC games. Then suddenly felt pain in my thumbs . Also it hurt as fuck, but I kept quiet because I didn’t want my brother to see how stupid I am. After I pulled that thing out, the 2 tiny red dots on my thumbs didn’t bleed, but They burned like fire.” – u/R3m3mb3rM3

 


“I used to have fairly long hair, and used alot of bobby pins because of it. One morning I had the bobby pins between my lips while I stick them in my hair, and without thinking, put my head back and a bobby pin promptly slid down my throat and got stuck.

I didn’t want to call for an ambulance or anything, because I felt really stupid. So I decided to call my best friend. At the time we had this nasty old phone, and it lived on the ground, and I started to cry as I went to pick it up. The mixture of a sob and leaning over brought it up again, in a little mix of spit and blood.” – u/INeedAShower

 


“I once tried to make a plaster cast of my face for a Halloween mask. Figured a bunch of Vaseline would keep it from sticking to my beard, mustache and eyebrows. That was totally ineffective.

The plaster dried completely enmeshed in my facial hair, fusing the cast to my face. My eyes and mouth were covered and I had a couple of cut drinking straws in my nose to breathe. Minor panic ensued. I debated calling for help (roommate was out of town) but was too embarrassed to do so.

Finally, after stumbling blindly around the apartment for a while, and trying various methods to remove the cast (including a hammer – ouch) I figured out that water and pliers would soften and crush the plaster. I spent the next two hours in the shower painstakingly removing it all.” – u/blatant-disregard

 


“I was chewing on a guitar pick, medium size, and like a dorito shape. i laughed, sucked my breath in, and it got lodged in my throat. i managed to swallow it (i’m good at swallowing), and i immediately drank like 3 cups of fiber, and my mom had to call the doctor. I didn’t feel it come out. As far as i know, its still inside me.

The best thing was just the doctor’s reaction. he acted like this happened often. just was like, “oh yeah, if you don’t notice it in your stool or anything, just assume it’s passed”. – u/Catawompus

 

“In high school a friend and I were making some dessert that required a mixer.. My parents’ mixer had a short in it and to had to wiggle the cord to get it to work.. Of course I had the bright idea to lick the mixers while they were still connected, and of course the mixer was still on, and just shorted out. The mixer turned on, and My tongue ended up caught in between the mixers.. Bleeding.. It wasn’t as hilarious then as it is to us now, obviously .” – u/Inyourcargovan

 


” I once hot glued my lower half to my couch.

A bedazzling project got away from me.” – u/frenchinator


“When I was little I got a magnet stuck in one nostril and then used another to try and get it out and manged to get it stuck in the other. Lots of sneezing later one came out, a visit to a parent’s friend who is a doctor the other came out with tweezers.” – u/devilbird99

“When i was a kid, i was carving a pumpkin. The knife got stuck… I tried to cut further, nothing, i tried to pull back, nothing again.

So I braced my feet against the table legs, gripped the knife with both hands, and pulled with all my strength, it twisted in my hands as it came out, went straight into my face. I had a knife stuck 5cm under my left eye. It bled alot but wasnt deep enough to need stitches or anything. Kept the scar for about 2 years. Still, it was damn close to my eye.” – u/bartonar

 


“When I was 12, I was just discovering the joys of fapping… and I had found a certain website… well I didnt like very many of the techniques listed, so I thought, I’m gonna make my own fleshlight… I took an apple juice bottle and did a fine job, until i got stuck. yes, my dick got stuck in my homemade fleshlight. it was there for almost an hour. I dont know how i got it out, but I just moved a bit and plop! my homemade fleshlight fell off. Worst day of my life.” – u/le-derp2

 


“I was eating an orange one day when I was like 12. I used to eat oranges in three or four bites, so I would each like 3 “orange pieces” at a time. I ate a bunch at the same time and the pieces got lodged inside my throat. They were there were so long that I collapsed and I had to shove my hand down my throat and grab the string from the orange pieces and pull it back up.” – u/AlphaQ69

 


“I was building something (can’t remember what), and one of the nuts fell into a hole at an angle and got stuck. I tried to push it out with a screwdriver from the other side, and ended up ramming the screwdriver into the palm of my hand. It went deep enough that you could see a bulge on the other side of my hand.” – u/stordoff

 


“When I was about 10 and my brother was 7 or 8, he was led on his bed sucking a Lego brick (4×2). This promptly got lodged in his throat and he went blue. I was like… Shit… (more like “oh no”), then I hit his back bloody hard and it came out… I still haven’t told mum n dad… That was 18 years ago ish…” – u/neurofluxation

 


“Spanish class, 7th grade. I had a habit where I would clean out my ears with the backside of a pencil. I shoved it in my ear, and when I pulled it out, not only the eraser, but the metal cap was stuck far down my ear canal. I immediately excused myself and went to the bathroom, where after about 20 seconds I was able to pry it out.” – deleted

 


My Horse Forum“A few weeks ago, I was fuckin around with my zip ties and, for some reason, tightened one on my right pinky finger as tight as possible. No way to slip it off, I ran upstairs while it turned blue.

It was too tight to slip some scissors under and being as that it was acting like a corset for my fat fingers, there was no sawing it off with a steak knife comfortably. Yet, it was the only option I could come up with, without risking another 5 minutes looking for a better method.

I eventually managed to get it off, but I did have to cut my finger to get a good enough angle on it. Not as bad as it sounds, it was just like a bad cat scratch, but it was ultra shitty.” – u/Nokarot

 


“It was a tiny bullet that I got as a ‘gift’. Ended up putting it in my ass and it didn’t come out for a bit. I remember squatting over a towel and pushing with all of my might. Oh god the fart that was let loose scared the shit out of the cats.” –deleted

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