16 People Who Should Never Quit Their Day Job
Some people are born knowing what they want to do: Derek Jeter wanted to play baseball, Michael Jordan wanted to play basketball, Wayne Gretzky wanted to play hockey, Lionel Messi wanted to take human growth hormone so he could play soccer, Donald Trump wanted to be an elaborate troll, scare the crap out of the world, and pop out of a giant birthday cake on the night he wins the election just so he can yell, “Surprise! I don’t want this job. LOL. Idiots.” You catch my drift.
Well, the people in this article thought they knew what they wanted to be, but actually have no idea. They’re all doing jobs they’re incompetent at, and that’s fine by me because as a spectator, it’s funny. Though I am sure it’s inconveniencing other people. Nevertheless, it seems that so long as there are jobs in the world, there will be people doing them poorly. And until robots and machines render us useless in the workforce, we’ll keep getting articles like this!
1. Be right back. I know exactly where the mustached lady with mid-orgasm eyes is hiding.
2. I’m not sure what your day job is, but surely it cannot be running a hotel.
3. It’s been four goddamn movies in a row now, Phil. Get it under control.
4. And you want to be THE cake boss with logic like this? C’mon, man!
5. Not sure if a Monty Python sketch or a horrendous tiling job…
6. That’s the face of a man who said he’d rather drain the pool than hire someone to do it.
7. Do not quit your job as a graphic designer, because you clearly won’t cut it in the culinary industry. The milk goes IN the bowl.
8. Well, that’s technically correct…
9. Someone needs to tell this person their artwork is horrifyingly bad. It’ll help them down the road when their boss tells them and they lose a job and don’t know how to handle failure.
10. A qualifier to make such backpacks should be to at least have seen the movie.
11. Geography or T-shirt printing. Pick one.
12. “F*** your trees.” –City planners,
13. Wildly inappropriate. Wildly hilarious. Nevertheless, it’s wrong and deserves to be reprimanded.
14. Bold suggestion by this store.
15. It’s one thing to screw up your job, it’s another to screw up the archaeological record.
16. Sacarmneto: We don’t sweat the details.