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16 Things You Should Always Do When Dealing With Drunk Friends 

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Passing out drunk around your friends can be a risky move at best. You leave yourself open to all kinds of embarrassing humiliations, from being written on to being floated into the middle of a lake on an air mattress. Kids’ll do anything these days. However, on the other end of that spectrum comes the trust that it requires TO pass out around your friends. The trust that, while they might have a little fun with you, they’ll leave you relatively whole and unharmed. Even if you don’t pass out, when you’re extremely hammered on a night out with the #squadcrewfam, your safety, well-being, and means of conveyance all fall into the hands of the primary designated driver.Therein lies the social contract. The DD gets you around and eventually home safe, and you listen to the DD when they tell you it’s time to do something (usually leave!). It’s an easy system, and it is set up for success. However, from time to time, each of us forgets the rules, and that’s where this handy list of suggestions for handling your drunk friends comes in. Trust me, messing with them can be funny, but only do it if you’re willing to have it done to you in return later and not complain about it. Nobody likes a drunk hypocrite!

1. Bros before bridesmaids, bro!

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2. “Wait, if we’re all here…who took the photo?”

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3. Sometimes you just need to let them learn their lesson!

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4. When you know they’re going to be up early and feeling like a ripe bag of ass!

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5. “God it’s so cold…how long have I been here?”

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6. Whether you volunteered or drew the short straw, always get them home safe!

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7. Always involve your friends in the drinking games…ALWAYS!

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8. Encourage your friends to make good decisions for their future!

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9. Always be courteous to those who you drive home, for they’ll be the DD next time!

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10. Always hang them out to dry before putting them away!

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11. Choose wisely when selecting a bride. Nobody wants 50 years of boredom!

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12. Set a guard for them whilst they slumber!

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13. Have that one friend who always disappears randomly when he’s loaded? Not anymore!

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14. If you’re a good friend, you can put them somewhere out of the way where they can rest and regain strength. If you’re a best friend, you can give them bunnies as well!

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15. If no bunnies are available, enormous teddy bears are also acceptable!

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16. And finally, if nothing else, simply wish them well!

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