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17 People Reveal The Weirdest Thing They Have Heard In Porn

When I started reading this thread I was thinking this would be alright… NOPE! THESE ARE AWESOME!

LIKE THIS!! “Vape in my pussy and call me your meme slut” I need to watch this video…

The wonderful people of Reddit shared all of the best things they have heard in porno’s.

1. It was a dirty nurse scenario. Doctor comes in with nurse, patient is “dead” banging will revive her. Doctor says “nurse, suck my dick, stat!” Apparently, the nurse sucking the doctor’s weiner helped revive the patient. Then they all banged.

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2. I was browsing videos once and in the middle of this amateur session, the couple’s dog kept getting into the shot. When they tried to switch position, the dog kept sniffing the guy’s butt.
they couldn’t stop laughing and like, 2 minutes of the video is them trying to shoo the dog away. And one point one of them says,
“No, bad dog, this isn’t that kind of video”

3. “That’ll do pig. That’ll do”

 

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4. Gay porn where a guy hide his junk in a box of popcorn while watching à movie with his friend. His friend try to have some popcorn but instead grab the first guy’s penis. He then casulally ask him “Dude, is that your dick?” and the other answers “No, this is cock porn. I mean popcorn. I’m dislexyc.”

5. The one where the guy is about to give the girl a facial and he says “This is for all the mothafuckas in the Wu-Tang… ODB.. Raekwon… motherfuckin U-God. I’m gonna give you the 36 Chambers of cum bitch!”

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6. I saw one where a black guy was singing about how good this white girls pussy was while he was fucking her.
?Ooohhh girl, you’re pussy is sooo good? I’m going to make love to your pussy girl…? All the while you hear the girl going “Ngyah? Ngyah? Oooooh…ooooh…ngyah? Aaaahhh Aaaahhh…while he’s singing.

7. I saw this one where two girls were blowing a guy and one of the girls was on the phone. The one on the phone starts talking but like so much that her voice starts to go up high for not taking a breath and the other girl turns to her and says “that was a mouthful” and they both look at the guys junk and laugh. I couldn’t help but laugh too.

 

8. “It’s like you’re raping his face with your ass” as she twerked on his face during analingus.

I also recall a pornstar somehow working the word “simultaneously” into her dirty talk. I think it was Jenna Haze.

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80’s porn sounds terrible

9. It was an 80’s porn, I wish I could remember the title. The setting was a virginal airhead going to work in an 1800’s Wild West brothel.
She’s got her fist around a limp dick, and she’s blowing on the tip of the head like she’s trying to inflate the guy, making pbpbpbpbpbpbt noises.
The madam leans in and says in a fake southern drawl, “No, no, honey, ‘blow’ is just an expression. You’re supposed to suck on it.” and proceeds to show her how to give a good beej.
I nearly passed out laughing.

10. It was from a vhs porn tape., probably a re-release from the 80s based on the quality. The chick was screaming “fuck me” and the dude yells out,
“I’m fucking you, bitch!”
It was hilarious.

 

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11. Shitty 80s bar wench porn. Dudes bout to put it up her loaf pincher and she says, “But I poop from there”
He follows up with a “Not right now you dont” And proceeds to fuck her asshole

12. Its always going to be the end of this clip

13. “I was born by the snatch, and I wanna die by the snatch”

14.  Him: “Where do you want it, baby?”

Her: “In me”

Him: “What, come in you? Are you on the pill?”

Her: “Yea, moan

Him: “Are you SURE?”

Her: “Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

I had to stop the video because I was laughing so hard.

15. Not sure of the guys name but his trademark line is..

“Oh yeah dropping fucking load.”

I’m sure you can guess what kind of load he is dropping.

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16. “I am her mother, i know whats best for her not you, your barely her boyfriend”

BONUS I FORGOT TO NUMBER::: This one gets me everytime!

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