1. Starting off with vodka shots is a wise move, yeah?
2. Have you…always been this much of a lightweight?
3. You know that hook-up is going to haunt you for months, right?
4. Like, seriously, you know they won’t look like that tomorrow?
5. You realize you can’t dance to save your life, right?
6. Like, do you really not know how stupid you look right now?
7. How have you not figured out by now that drunk texts are an awful, awful idea?
Your ex definitely agrees.
8. Apparently you’re made of money now as well?
9. Using your credit card to buy shots is a great idea, huh?
You DEFINITELY won’t regret that in the morning.
10. Why bother with saving money for rent when you can just buy another round?
11. Have you just plain forgotten that you’re in a public place right now?
12. Did you really think that 4 a.m. smudged eyeliner is a good look?
13. Maybe picking a fight with the bouncer isn’t the best idea?
14. Don’t you think you’re overreacting to the fact that McDonalds is only serving the late night menu?
You can still get food.
15. You do realize that public urination is illegal, right?
16. Have you forgotten how bad hangovers can be?
17. Seriously, why do you keep doing this to yourself?