17 Things People Who Are Perpetually Late Understand
Missing the train by seconds inevitably leads to regretting every decision in your life that led to this moment.
“If I hadn’t sneezed an hour ago, would I be sitting on that train right now?”
Arriving at any appointment feels like the end to a race since you’re always rushing to make it in time.
“Isn’t everyone sweaty when they get to a hair appointment?”
You have one friend who always gets everywhere early and feels the need to text you about it.
“Yay, so glad you’re sitting at an empty restaurant table while I’m sprinting to make it on time! This is ideal for both of us!”
And you always have your apology speech prepared for when you finally meet up with that friend.
“I’M REALLY SORRY I’M THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD AND…What’s that? It’s not a big deal? Okay cool.”
Though really, you did try your hardest to get there on time!
“You always-early lot just don’t understand our struggles!”
It’s just that something always seems to happen when you try to get somewhere, like a traffic jam…
“I would have been there on time! I WOULD HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN ON TIIIIIME FOR ONCEEE!”
Or you run into an old friend who’s having a rough time and wants to talk about it…
“It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I REALLY HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW.”
Or you get sucked into a rabbit hole on YouTube and lose track of time….
“Wait, there are MORE videos of cats in boxes? Time to watch 100000 more.”
…Bottom line: You just never seem to be able to get out of your own way and get to places when you’re supposed to.
“Time is a mysterious entity. How do you know it doesn’t work differently for late people?”
Is it genetics that made you this way? A series of terrible bad habits? Who knows, but one thing’s for sure: It’s not fun.
“Lady GaGa said I was born this way, so you’re just going to have to forgive me for showing up to the dentist late.”
Friends tell you dinner reservations are 15 minutes earlier than they actually are, just so you’re not late.
“Harsh, but deserved.”
You try to be “fashionably late” to parties, but end up arriving two hours after everyone else.
“Hey guys, did I miss anything? Yes? Cool.”
Getting to work only five minutes late feels like a huge accomplishment.
“Just starting my day early, people. No need to thank me.”
If by some miracle no one notices you arrive somewhere late, you try your best to avoid anyone finding out.
“What’s that? You’re referencing something that happened at the beginning of the play? Yes, of course I was here to watch that. Of course.”
But if someone DOES end up noticing how late you were, you have a full explanation ready.
“I was going to be on time but then I fell and flipped seven times in public and then I got a flat tire and then I saw a bear….”
And you never lie about what it was that held you up. You just tend to embellish.
“…And the bear was really cute so then I had to take a picture but then I LOST MY PHONE and then I found my phone and by then the bear was gone…”
And sure, you were late today…But there’s always next time, right?
“One of these days I’m going to get somewhere on time, and I’ll SHOW THEM ALL!”