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18 Absurd Headlines That Should Not Have Happened This Week

womancop

The truth isn’t always stranger than fiction but in these cases, it totally is.

1. Prove you’re not Saddam Hussein, Apple tells customer

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Man, they’re getting really out of hand ever since those iPhone 7’s started exploding.

2. Officer gives himself a citation for running red light

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Don’t even try getting out of a ticket with this dude. He won’t even let himself off the hook.

3. Ronald McDonald keeping low profile amid creepy clown craze

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The Hamburglar is probably thinking this is his time to shine.

4. Council error directs voters to hardcore porn website

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“Error.”

5. ‘Clown Lives Matter’ peace walk canceled after multiple threats

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Listen, people have always hated clowns. Nothing will ever change that.

6. Gun, mace-toting guards try to manage crime, chaos at Chuck E. Cheese

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A REAL COOL PLACE TO BE A KID!

7.Officer cleaning gun accidentally fires bullet into day care

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Got to keep those kids on their toes.

8.India offers to buy 200 foreign combat jets – if they’re Made-in-India

NATO Operation Allied Force

But… that’s not what foreign means.

9. Hillary Clinton admits Tupac, Snoop Dogg, and Suge Knight influence her look

10. Seattle carjacking victim had to explain reverse gear to teen robbers

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“JESUS just… just don’t mess up my car. Look, what you need to do is…”

11. Marines sentenced over bottom spanking ritual

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Man, the military has really hit rock bottom…

12. Smash Mouth and Oakland A’s in Twitter war

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If you’re trying to be relevant, Smash Mouth, you might want to pick a cooler baseball team than the Oakland Athletics.

13. More pets are getting high as marijuana legalization spreads

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And they say that dreams can’t come true.

14. Monk arrested over fake money used in payment for date with girl

Buddhist Monks Praying

Monks date?!

15. Man Changes His Name to iPhone 7 in the Ultimate Act of Dedication

Ukraine iPhone 7

Man he’s gonna feel dumb around this time next year.

16. Brazil saw more violent deaths than war-torn Syria in 2015, report says

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Just another day in Rio.

17. 20 boyfriends and 20 iPhones: How one Chinese woman bought a house

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Go on…

18. Student crashes into cop while trying to take topless selfie for boyfriend

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