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18 Of The Best “Worst Things For Sale” On Amazon

The Worst Things For Sale” is a blog that catalogs, well, the worst things for sale on Amazon. It’s very funny, and also very accurate — these are some of the worst things for sale. Ever. Way beyond gifts that you didn’t want, or that look like garbage, this blog collects some truly depressing junk. That’s why I’ve highlighted some of my favorite examples found by the blog’s author, Drew Fairweather. Hey, I’m a grim person! You can also read an interview with the author on Vice.

 

A Trash Bag For Your Tire

tire trash bag
(source)

“It bolts onto your truck’s tire, in an apparent attempt to create the least practical way to hold a trash bag in a world full of cans, baskets, and buckets.”

 

The Pee-On Urinal Picture

urinal screen picture
(source)

“‘Great for bosses,’ lies the box of the Pee-On Urinal Picture Kit.”

 

Baby Gender Predictor

urinal screen picture
(source)

“While predicting a baby’s gender with a spit test before birth currently doesn’t work at the time of this writing, you can’t blame manufacturers for selling widgets that claim to do it.”

 

Duct Tape Scent

orange cream duct tape
(source)

“The least objectionable one is probably the Orange Cream flavor, above, but there’s also a Grape (yuck), Bubble Gum (barf), and a Cupcake (?!?!) version in case your stomach’s not turning yet.”

 

Depression Cheese For Two

fondue mugs
(source)

“It comes as a set of two, but let’s face it: this just lets you have fondue by yourself twice before washing the dishes.”

 

Tactical Christmas Stocking

fondue mugs
(source)

“For the person in your life who can’t enjoy a holiday without somehow connecting it to guns and warfare…”

 

The Selfie Toaster

selfie toaster
(source)

“At last, humanity has created the pinnacle of scientific achievement.”

 

Dog Collar Bottle Opener

dog collar bottle opener
(source)

“What kind of world would you live in where you need to open bottles, but can’t, because you’re not at home, and not in a bar, and you don’t have your keychain, but your dog is with you?”

 

The Man Bowl

good christ
(source)

“If you have a sex thing where you want someone to treat you bad, that’s one thing. But quietly assenting to eat meals out of a big dog-bowl labeled MAN is a special level of depressing.”

 

Be The Ayy To My Lmao

ayy lmao
(source)

“How about I be the no to your t-shirt?”

 

Tetris: The Board Game

ayy lmao
(source)

“In an apparent attempt to answer the question ‘what could possibly ruin the best and most popular video game of all time?’ the board-game of Tetris Link has been created.”

 

Vegan Jerky

vegan jerky
(source)

“Jerky is the worst thing you could do to meat. So it stands to bear that the soybean, a legume which could be turned into tofu, miso, soy milk, edamame, soy sauce, or any number of wonderful foods, would be turned into horrible turd in an attempt to ‘jerky’ it.”

 

The USA Burger

vegan jerky
(source)

“What could be more American than a hamburger? A hamburger pressed into the shape of the USA, using a plastic mold which was made in China.”

 

The Titty Pillow

vegan jerky
(source)

“‘On the pillow we purchased the Boobs are touching,’ writes a reviewer of this titty-pillow, for whom titty-geometry seems a matter of importance.”

 

Hyperlip

hyperlip
(source)

“The Hyperlip is a plastic ring you wedge in your mouth to keep your mouth hanging open. Why? The manufacturer doesn’t explain, but notes it’s a ‘great conversation starter.'”

 

wine stakes

hyperlip
(source)

“We’ve already solved the problem of ‘where do I put my wine outside?’ It’s called an outside table. Not a set of stakes you hammer into the ground and balance your wineglass on.”

 

Mac ‘N Cheese Button

mac n cheese button
(source)

“If you’re thinking you’ve gotta wash your automatic dinner down with water, nope – there’s a button for Gatorade too. It’s got what plants– I mean people– crave.”

SOURCE

 

 

18 Of The Best “Worst Things for Sale” on Amazon

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