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It’s easy to identify a douchebag by his attire. Like a leopard and its spots, they are recognized by their distinct appearance. Instead of spots, however, douchebags are better known for clothing boasting Ed Hardy artwork or obnoxiously large quotations alluding to the wearer’s virility. To locate one in their natural habitat, one can hit up the local gym (usually near squatting racks and/or mirrors) or sports bar in a bustling college town, where they will likely be catcalling the waitresses. If you happen upon a dude wearing anything remotely similar to the examples below, you’ve found yourself an alpha douche in all his glory.

douchiest shirts ever created, douchey shirts, affliction
1. A not-so-distant second to Ed Hardy, Affliction is an MMA-inspired brand worn by men who’ve never so much as entered a gym.

douchiest shirts ever created, douchey shirts, i on;t have sex on days beginning with t
2. Get it? This means he wants to have sex every day! LOL!

douchiest shirts ever created, douchey shirts, poker she'll love it
3. A play on words and a hint at a potential gambling problem. Solid!

douchiest shirts ever created, douchey shirts, the situation abs
4. Abs: the window to a douchebag’s soul.

douchiest shirts ever created, douchey shirts, i have a phd pretty huge dick
5. So that’s what Ph.D. stands for.

douchiest shirts ever created, douchey shirts, women know your limits
6. Sexism is always a winner with the ladies.

douchiest shirts ever created, douchey shirts, cheat on your girlfriend not your workout
7. Solid advice. Wear this one to dinner with her parents.

douchiest shirts ever created, douchey shirts, if squats were easy they'd be called your mom
8. The “mom joke” tee is the fedora of shirts.

douchiest shirts ever created, douchey shirts, suns out guns out
9. So popular, yet so grammatically incorrect.

douchiest shirts ever created, douchey shirts, let me know if my biceps get in your way
10. Okay. I doubt it but will do.

douchiest shirts ever created, douchey shirts, she squats bro
11. The guy who wears this shirt loves himself more than he could ever love another person.

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12. I’m willing to bet his charity is something few women would want.

douchiest shirts ever created, douchey shirts, deep v
13. The deeper the V, the greater the douche.

douchiest shirts ever created, douchey shirts, world's worst brother
14. This guy is BAD ASS!

douchiest shirts ever created, douchey shirts, come at me bro
15. Stringer tank tops: the only way a man could possibly dress like a slut.

douchiest shirts ever created, douchey shirts, white tank top wife beater
16. Before douchebag became a term for something aside from feminine hygiene, there was the wife beater.

douchiest shirts ever created, douchey shirts, cutoff jean shirt
17. Why buy a T-shirt if you’re just going to cut the sleeves off?

douchiest shirts ever created, douchey shirts
18. Pretty much anything Guy Fieri has worn or would ever wear.

THE 18 DOUCHIEST SHIRTS EVER CREATED

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