It’s easy to identify a douchebag by his attire. Like a leopard and its spots, they are recognized by their distinct appearance. Instead of spots, however, douchebags are better known for clothing boasting Ed Hardy artwork or obnoxiously large quotations alluding to the wearer’s virility. To locate one in their natural habitat, one can hit up the local gym (usually near squatting racks and/or mirrors) or sports bar in a bustling college town, where they will likely be catcalling the waitresses. If you happen upon a dude wearing anything remotely similar to the examples below, you’ve found yourself an alpha douche in all his glory.
1. A not-so-distant second to Ed Hardy, Affliction is an MMA-inspired brand worn by men who’ve never so much as entered a gym.
2. Get it? This means he wants to have sex every day! LOL!
3. A play on words and a hint at a potential gambling problem. Solid!
4. Abs: the window to a douchebag’s soul.
5. So that’s what Ph.D. stands for.
6. Sexism is always a winner with the ladies.
7. Solid advice. Wear this one to dinner with her parents.
8. The “mom joke” tee is the fedora of shirts.
9. So popular, yet so grammatically incorrect.
10. Okay. I doubt it but will do.
11. The guy who wears this shirt loves himself more than he could ever love another person.
12. I’m willing to bet his charity is something few women would want.
13. The deeper the V, the greater the douche.
14. This guy is BAD ASS!
15. Stringer tank tops: the only way a man could possibly dress like a slut.
16. Before douchebag became a term for something aside from feminine hygiene, there was the wife beater.
17. Why buy a T-shirt if you’re just going to cut the sleeves off?
18. Pretty much anything Guy Fieri has worn or would ever wear.
THE 18 DOUCHIEST SHIRTS EVER CREATED