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18 People Who Got Caught Crankin’ It at Work

Admit it, there’s at least one moment every day when you have an intense desire to start masturbating at work. Everyone has such thoughts, but few act on them; or, those who do act on them don’t talk about it. In fact, the only reason we know there are people getting off on the job is stories of dum dums jerking it on a shift and getting caught. Some of these people getting the job done at work ended up dying from autoerotic asphyxiation, or from jerking it so effing hard their bodies gave up. Not every white collar jerker who got up to naughty bathroom office hijinks died; some had a great time until the law caught up.

It’s debatable whether double clicking the mouse at work is a bad thing. It really depends on where you work. Obviously, if you’re the manager at a daycare, you shouldn’t be whipping heavy cream 9 to 5, but if you work as an editor in the porn industry, you can’t be blamed for sneaking off to the restroom every once in a while to settle your biscuits (that slang makes perfect sense). The heroes in these stories of on-call masturbators shouldn’t have been wanking on the clock, but sometimes you need a little one-on-one time.

 

 

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