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18 People Share Their Most Shameful NSFW Secrets

 

 

1

supernasty — All you can eat sushi is dangerous.

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Girlfriend and I had all you can eat sushi and she tried to give me head on the way back home. About one minute into it she threw up all over my dick and into my pants and then started puking out her passenger window, which streaked the whole side of my car with her vomit. I’ve never seen so much rice before

2

BoroCollections — Gotta dispose the things.

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During my first relationship in high school, my partner and I were pretty sexually active. We did it almost every day in her parents basement, during our lunch hour.
One day, I went over after school for dinner with her family. While waiting for everyone to sit themselves and start eating, my partner’s autistic sister went downstairs to the basement to grab something. She came back upstairs holding a used condom with forgot to throw out and asked the entire table what it was.
I still have nightmares of the look her father gave me before kicking me out.

3

Summerclaw — We are all strange children.

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When I was 4 or 5. I used to steal my sister’s Barbie knock off doll and go inside my bed and undress them and suck their boobs.
Why? No idea, I don’t remember watching any porn when I was a kid or seeing anything out of the ordinary regarding an adult. And I grew up being a fairly straightforward guy without any weird kinks.

4

technotunacasserole — Nooo.

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Used a banana as a dildo. Was a little too ripe and broke open inside.
Edit: some more info on the sticky situation.
Yes I am a woman. This happened to me when I was 14ish. Im in my 30s with kids now. I grew up in a really sheltered, religious home so when I started becoming curious about my body and the hormones started raging. . .well this is how I chose to deal with it using what limited resources and knowledge I had haha. As far as the aftermath went. I cleaned it as best as I could (removable shower head) and walked away with a nasty UTI because of the fruit guts as well as my general lack of vagina knowledge) that was left untreated so it turned into a kidney infection which led to me having to tell my mom what I did and she took away my computer for three months as punishment. I eventually learned what actual dildos were and how vaginas work at the ripe age of 20.
Edit #2:. Soo this is my most upvoted comment on here. This is my legacy now. :/ The busted banana girl.
P.S. educate your kids folks or it could happen to someone else.

5

Explosivo1269 — An HOUR LONG?! Damn.

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My ex and I when we first started dating in Highschool had gone to her place while her mom was supposed to be at work. 10 minutes of cuddling and slow stripping, we hear the deadbolt unlock to her front door. My ex runs me to the bathroom while I’m entirely nude and has me lie down in the tub and closes the shower curtain. She then makes a towel hat and acts like she got out of the shower. I hear one sentence that made me want to cry. “Well it’s a good thing that you’re out! I need to take a shit”
So I’m hiding in a tub a foot away from her mother and was in the tub for nearly an hour. My ex had distracted her and had me run through the back door and wait under her second story bedroom window. So here I am, sitting outside NUDE, in the crisp cold of February waiting for my clothes. What seemed like hours go by, my clothes rain down on me to which I ran to my car after getting dressed and drive home with the scarring memory of listening to my ex’s mother take the most audible shit I’ve ever heard. The smell haunts me 3 years later. I also get those memories flashing in my mind everytime I see a shower tub combo.

6

pm_me_ur_demotape — Best to pretend bed-wetting never happened.

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I woke up the morning after having sex with someone I just met and the entire bed was soaked in piss. I don’t know if it was hers or mine, but I didn’t need to take my usual morning piss so I feared it was mine. I just left quietly.
Strangely enough she called me after that and neither the piss nor my disappearance were ever brought up. We hung out a few times more.

7

MrSweetNSour — Wow.

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I had a casual hookup with a girl from my accounting class, and partway through she began bleeding heavily from her vagina. This caught me off guard and I puked. Rushed her to the hospital, and on the way she faded in and out of consciousness a few times. Turns out she had undiagnosed cervical cancer and me penetrating her had apparently loosened something? I don’t know, I’m not a doctor. She was able to get it surgically removed, but they said had it not been for that encounter, she might not have learned about it until it was too late. So while I’m embarrassed by the situation, I take solace in the fact that I saved a girl’s life with my dick.

8

lovelynoms — Oh god no. I want to erase this entry from my mind.

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In the beginning of foreplay, I scratched my leg. A couple of minutes later, in the half dark of the bedroom, I looked down and saw dried blood there. I didn’t want my partner, who was busy going down, to see it in case it would break the mood (not a fan of blood), so I licked my finger, rubbed some of it off and went to lick my finger again to finish it… Realized it didn’t taste like blood. It was poop from when my partner had previously been straddling my leg.
Spent the rest of the sex attempting not to vomit. I didn’t want to spill the beans and hurt anyone’s feelings, but as soon as it was over, I leapt up and spent, like, 10 minutes washing out my mouth and wanting to die. Never told though!

9

PerpetualMonday — Not so hidden after all.

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I worked in the lumber yard of a hardware store when I was in high school. Was a super slow Sunday morning; zero customers all morning, so I decided to jerk it to a Gillian Anderson Calendar posted on the wall at the service desk. I could see it from behind a bunch of wrapped supplies on a pallet. It was nearly shoulder height so I figured no one could see me.
Tuesday I started training a new guy in. Got fired that Friday, they said “We don’t need you anymore.” I was afraid to ask why, so I left. Went back years later to buy some supplies and saw the security camera that was aimed down to my “hiding spot.”

10

IdontOpenEnvelopes — He never wished her a good night again.

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In high school I got caught inside my gf by her dad. In missionary, her legs way up there, my bare ass bumping up and down. Her Dad comes into her bedroom to wish her a good night. I was very happy to be alive that night.

11

NeylandSensei — Ballsy.

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I was homeschooled growing up and dated a girl from this ballroom dance class I was taking. She gave me a handy under empty pizza boxes in the backseat of her van while her parents drove me home once.

12

iamnotagermanspy — The daughter seems to have taken it surprisingly well.

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I was 25. Met a woman,45, at a club and we both got drunk. Went back to hers and we start messing around on the couch, she is trying to be quiet and I don’t pick up on it so much.
A few minutes into me eating her out, I hear a voice say “mum?”, and my conquest suddenly gets up and runs to the sink to vomit.
There I am, naked and drunk and alone on my knees when the woman’s 20 year old daughter walks in after being woken up.
“What are you doing” was a hard question to answer. All I could think of was to wave, smile, and say “hi!”.
Edit: clarification due to several comments about the daughter’s obliviousness.
Mum was gone from the room before the daughter walked in. Daughter had just woken up, was perhaps a touch groggy, and was presented with a strange and naked man in her living room.

13

freddie_delfigalo — “Got sick on his dick”

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Got so drunk I didn’t know my name and gave a guy a blowjob at the back of this pub on holidays. So drunk that midway through the drink turned in my stomach and I got sick on his dick. Managed to somehow not to let it get outside my mouth and swallowed it all (he finished about 2 minutes later). “Best blowjob ever” he said and the shame train made it to the station on time. Never again.

14

merupu8352 — “More specific, please. NEVERMIND NEVERMIND. LESS SPECIFIC.”

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My partner wasn’t feeling too good down there but was still in the mood to mess around so she asked me what I wanted to do. I told her I wanted her to lie next to me so I could fondle her while she jerked me off. She liked this idea so off we went. I hadn’t gotten off in a while so I was a bit more sensitive and less able to control my ending. I came much earlier than I expected and she had my dick at exactly the right angle for the cum to land perfectly in my eyes.
My eyes were red for the next two or three days. I tried eyedrops and washing but nothing seemed to help. Finally I went to the doctor and told him some external irritant got in my eyes. He asked me to be more specific. In that moment I was definitely not proud of this secret.

15

DisturbingDecisions — So many questions here.

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When I lost my virginity I had in a tampon and it got stuck, he had to help me get it out and we just threw it out the window of the car

16

Epic21227 — How on Earth did the guy not smell this?

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When I was in the Army me and my buddy were on guard duty at Fort Bliss. We were watching tents that were set up for a competition the next day it was for the cooks so basically a cook off. Anyway I had to take a dump really bad. Luckily we were by a building that had a bathroom. Back in those days we wore berets (Not sure if they do now) anyway we would keep them in our belts. So I forgot mine was in my belt and shat on it. It was a huge turd. I felt the poop not going into the toilet and was like WTF? To my horror I saw I had literally “shat on my hat” So I cleaned it off and went back. I saw that my buddy had fallen asleep so I just switched berets. He was asleep for awhile so luckily it dried. He wore that beret for the rest of our enlistment. Well at least I got this off my chest 14 years later or so. Yes I was a specialist at the time

17

nastygeek — How does one recover from this situation?

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Shared nudes in the wrong album and sent it to family.

18

Gabinsca — Ew part 2.

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I once farted in a guy’s hand while he was fingering me. He went, “ew” and I didn’t know what to say so I just went, “what?” and he said never mind and kept going. Then I did it again.

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